I know it's been done to death but please help, the indecision is consuming me. (By way, have name changed for first time but am a regular). I know this can only be our decision but I just can't make it and need some objective views. We have 2 DSs (6 and 3), both easy going and life is easy. I have wanted a 3rd since I had 2nd (no, nothing to do with a girl, be happy with whoever came along). We kept thinking this feeling might lessen but it really hasn't. Husband was in the 'stick at 2' camp for a long while but after having discussed it at length is fine with having a third if it is what I want as although he'd vote for 2 would be happy with 3 if it means so much to me. I have not put pressure on him. I know the "no" vote should trump the "yes" vote but in reality, that's not always the case when he's happy to have a third. But I am so incredibly torn as to whether it is the right thing to do. I am terrified of making the wrong choice but all I keep coming back to is that regret is often the hardest thing to deal with i.e the regret of not trying for a third. I can step back and logically think that I would be mad to have a third as life is easy now, boys are great, easier to do things etc and as my friend said "why would i" but the feeling has never dissipated at all. If I could take a pill to stop the "want" I think I would. I know people say you never regret more children but I just don't know what to do. It is consuming me, all day and wakes me in the night. It is all I think about (the decision most of all). We are 38 too and I can't decide whether that is too old. Will an extra child adversely affect my sons? We'll have less money and time etc but then I obv know it will enrich their lives too.
What do we do? What should be "the decider"....the indecision is just awful. CAn smeone help me sort my head out?