Finding it so hard to parent my 19 month old son at the moment

[Summerdays2014]

I have a 19 month old son and I'm finding things increasingly difficult. I know that he's not being naughty and that everything is probably a phase and it's all 'normal' toddler behaviour. But I just feel overwhelmed and sad and like I must have done something wrong to have created all these issues. I feel like I'm being tested and I just don't know how to handle any of this anymore. It's not like there is one major issue, it just feels like there are lots of things I don't know how best to be a good mum and enjoy my son. I've posted loads recently about lots of things, but I just wanted to put everything down on one page I guess.
-he wakes between 5 and 5.30. This makes the day so long and he's bored and tired by 9am.
-he won't nap in the cot so he has his one nap of the day - usually an hour on me. I feel like I don't get a break and I need to sort this out.
-he will No longer self settle at night, he gets very upset at bedtime and we have to sit with him for anything up to 2 hours. This has been going on about three weeks now. Before he would settle himself when my husband put him down (he would never settle for me which upsets me)

-he suddenly hates going to groups. He screams and cries, hides behind my legs and drags me to the door. We both used to love going. Even story time at the library is out now.

• he won't eat any meal I cook him and just screams and cries for snacks/toast/yogurt the things he likes. I tried doing the hardline offering one thing only last week and we both spent meal times in tears.

-he can't entertain himself at all. He is constantly dragging he down to the floor and pulling me to where he wants me. -he has started whinging and throwing tantrums. Hitting me and pulling my hair and has pushed other children over a couple of times. -he is constantly on the go and will not sit still. We spend hours in the park and playing outside - which we both enjoy, but I can't keep him occupied at home.

• he hates the pushchair but will not walk where I want him to. He runs on the opposite direction and always wants to do something or go somewhere that's not meant to. Even with the freedom of park etc he tried to do what he can't.

He goes to nursery once a week at the moment (I'm a teacher and he usually does 3 day) and they say he eats everything and plays nicely etc etc.

I'm not sure what I'm looking for with this post, but just wanted to get my feelings down. Sorry it's so long and self indulgent. I'm just tired she sad and worried that my son is not happy.

Thanks for reading.

Your Son is fine. The early years are hard when they won't sleep and can't entertain themselves. Can you ask for a night off? A family member to babysit. You don't have to go out, just chill time to be you.

Mine is the same age and definitely has his challenging moments. Hand holding etc is a definite breach of his human rights and must be vigorously resisted at all costs. Bedtime is clearly for losers and is to be spun out for as long as possible. Eating's cheating (if vegetables are involved - they're clearly not for toddler human consumption). And heaven help you if you try to leave the house without him - the wails of distress when dh goes to work are very upsetting indeed.

It's just toddlers, innit... this too shall pass!

That does not make it in any way unreasonable to need a break, or gin, or a break with some gin.

Thanks both. Spudlet you made me laugh so thank you for that!

I also have a 19.month old and he has ruined several recent trips out with his tantrums and general refusal to go anywhere that isn't extremely dangerous. My 4 year old gets very frustrated by it!

Our DS is 18 months and all I can say is I'm glad nursery have him 3 1/2 days a week or I'd likely be feeling as frazzled as you OP. But please please please don't blame yourself for normal toddler behaviour!!!!

This morning my DS burst into tears when I put his cereal down in front of him (the cereal that he eats every day and usually has seconds of). He cried on and off for about 5 minutes then ate the whole bowl. Not really sure what he was crying about but he kept stopping to look at me before starting again (as if to check I was watching). They really are rather odd!

Hiya. Toddlers are devil's spawn!! If he didn't behave nicely at nursery Id have suggested maybe he had other issues going on but it sounds like he is just a normal toddler. My 2.5 year old son is an angel at nursery! He has in the last few months started holding our hands when we are out and in fact will now put his hand out to be held which makes life much easier.

Nap times - stick him in his cot and leave him to it! I bet he doesn't sleep on a nursery worker at nursery. He might chuck massive wobbly but if you are consistent he will accept that this is where he sleeps. My son would only sleep in the pushchair being rocked but I had to get him out of that before he started nursery at 9 months old. I started by rocking him in my arms and putting him in his cot when asleep and then slowly moved to when he was drowsy and then I could put him down and he would settle himself.

Bed times - you need to stop the hand holding now. My friend has two DS and she and her husband still have to lay on the floor by the eldest ones cot for an hour and he will be 3 in January. Start by sitting in a chair in his room so he knows you are there and gradually move towards the door until you are out!

Groups - my DS was like this too. I found Tumbletots was great as there was actually a focus on something for him to do plus it burned of some of that boundless energy!

In the meanwhile, hugs... parenting is hard!

Thanks for the latest replies. Helps to know I'm not alone and that other toddlers are like this too. Also, thank you everyone for the tips.