My daughter is 2 years old her dad works all the hours under the sun, I worked part time until recently 6 hours a week, my mum watched my daughter as it was evening work in a youth centre.
I have a new job which means I'm working 22.5 hours a week, my mum works in a school and gets the holidays off, I said to my mum I really want to put my daughter in childcare to gain social skills... because of my financial position where I haven't been paid from the new job yet my mum offered to have my daughter over the 6 week holidays.
Today is my day off and I've come to see my mum and sister at my mums with my daughter, And my daughter was pulling the contents of my mums hand bag out, I told her no 3 times after the 3rd I shouted it, to capture my daughters attention to stop her.
My mum then shouted at me and told me not to talk her like that, I said to my mum don't talk to me like that in front of her, otherwise my daughter will shout and copy her.
My mum then said 'how many hours do you have her a week' I did turn around and say more then what you think clearly.... situations arise like this all the time. Nasty spiteful comments on how I raise my daughter, i struggle with money hence hubby works like a dog and I'm pretty much doing the same now. I'm constantly tired, I try my upmost best for my daughter we don't have much but I try. And my own mum makes me feel like shit when the opportunity to say something arises.
It's caused depression and self doubt and I've tried talking like an adult but she things she's right because she's mum, btw I'm 25 and my hubby is 27...
I get comments from my mum that shut me down.... the point is I wanted childcare but my mum offered ? This is her choice is it not, I've agreed because my daughter loves my mum and I know I can relax whilst starting this new job rather then worry she's somewhere new on top. Then because she has her when I work how can she snap that line 'how many hours do you have her a week'
Trust me I wish I could afford to stay at home all day with her, but it's impossible if I want fun days out with her and don't want her to go without like we have been for so long I want to see that her mum works hard so she can have everything she needs and while I'm trying to better my life I have my own mother like a iron anker...
I'm really struggling I have no friends all lost after baby. My partner never around on days off mostly saved for important people like his 'friends' I see him in evenings mostly. Mum who can't stand me and constantly tries to control and when she don't get her own way she causes massive family disputes.
I have to go to the bathroom and cry my eyes out because I feel like I can't get anything right.
I've told my mum and partner but they seem to both manage to twist the situation and I get the blame again so now I'm starting to just not say anything but still feel useless, if I disagree wth either of their behaviours im in the wrong. Because I got upset that my mum said that, I now have to find childcare for tomorrow for work, coz she will refuse as a punishment so I can't go to work... this is another reason she's left me multiple times in the shit... because I've disagreed with something.
I'm just so lonely I hope there is somebody on this planet that can actually give some useful advice... because I know I'm not a shit mum I try hard not perfect but not useles ! I actually feel the only person I'm happy around is my daughter... if anyone's been in a similar situation please help me move forward because I don't want to feel like this anymore.