When DD1 (2.10) isn't having a meltdown she is such a lovely girl.very affectionate and kind, she's witty and a pleasure to have as company.
BUT - these meltdowns are breaking me! I know a lot is 'terrible twos' but I need to know how to deal with them as they are really getting extreme.
She has a baby sister who is 7 weeks old, she adores her but obviously life has changed which I think is fuelling this behaviour.
It's worse in the morning and before bed, but can happen anytime during the day.
Literally anything can set one off. The other day it was because I wasn't playing her game the way she wanted me to. It can be about putting pyjamas on, going somewhere she doesn't want to, coming away from somewhere, not wanting to go downstairs etc etc - and most frustratingly when I'm feeding DD2
She's started high pitched screaming and hitting, and hitting really hard. She can scream like this for up to 90mins. She'll shout 'I don't like you!' 'Bad mummy!' And the likes. It's really really getting to me because she is normally such a lovely girl it's like Jekyll and Hyde!
I try to be calm in my approach. I tell her that her behaviour is wrong without raising my voice (although I have lost my shit a couple of times with her!). I know she wants me to explode because she'll shout 'get angry at me mummy! Stop being nice!'
I'll give her a consequence of her actions, e.g. If you don't stop shouting then you won't get to watch my phone all day. I follow through with these actions - it can be a cancelled play date or removal of her favourite toy. When she's really bad and getting more hysterical I will take her to her room and close the door and tell her I'll be back in 2 mins if she's calm. I'll go in and offer her a cuddle, talk about what she did that made me angry and tell her she needs to say sorry. If she isn't calming down and the behaviour persists I'll close the door and wait another couple minutes.
Is there anything else I can do or try?? I'm thinking of making a 'house rules' poster with her then having a jar to put marbles for good behaviour (or take away if house rules are broken) then when jar is full she can get a treat.
She usually goes to bed fine, me or DH take turns and stay with her till she falls asleep. She's usually asleep 7.30/8, she'll come through to us at some point in the night but settles back to sleep ok, then up between 7/8.