This is my first port of call for advice re potty training- where do I start?

[bramblina]

OK here goes, give me all your info please!

Ds is 20 months and has a wee on his potty every night before bath. I've just thought though if I let him think it's just a once a day thing as opposed to hitting it right on the head all at once am I starting off with a bad idea? Am I better to wait until he is ready, to give it a full week (or whatever's) attention?

FWIW he's very familiar with having his nappy off and seems to control himself very well, can spend half an hour bare and is clearly aware when a wee is on it's way, IYSWIM! He did a poo on his potty about a month ago.

.....please?

Well 20 mo IME is very young...But I can't see anything wrong with giving it a go, sounds like he might be ready.

Potty training Cod style is the only way IMHO tho - ie go cold turkey, no pull-ups or any nonsense, remember to insist on the potty every hour or so etc.

DS2 was out of nappies in the day just before he was 2, his idea, and the most reliable of my 3.

Much better to wait till he's ready, I think. Many of my friends that have 'trained' their LO's at first signs have regretted it, and are still having problems now with wetting and soiling and anxiety. My DS is 3 and still in nappies, occasionally have some interest in potty and then says he's too busy! 3 is the average age.
It's upto you at the end of the day but if it's too early (and in my opinion 20 months is too early) you could cause problems later on. Potty training is a long drawn out process(like walking and talking), not to be rushed it takes physical connections of nerves from bladder/bowel to brain to develop fully.

Oh yes rereading yr post, you talk about "waiting till he's ready", yes if you feel he's not ready, then don't do it yet.

Wouldn't say 3 was the average age tho, not among my children's peers anyway.
Guess it depends whether you and they want to do it but there's no way DD or DS2 would still have stood to be in nappies at 3.

agree with debz. Having his nappy off at home for half an hour at a time is a very different thing to NEVER having it on, whatever the circumstances....in the car, at a party, walking round the supermarket, at someone else's house whose carpet you just won't want to risk poo or pee on! As kids get between 2 and 3, IME they also often get even more absorbed in their games, resulting in accidents where they didn't happen before....

give it a go if you want to, of course. It might work fine, or it might need to wait a while.

FWIW, what I did was tell ds that he needed to use the loo now, that he wasn't going to have a nappy today; no pull-ups, straight into pants; when straight to the loo cos I hate potties; constantly ask if they need the loo.....

let us know what you decide!

Sorry for sounding vague...by mentioning he has his nappy off etc I wasn't implying I was going for it now!

What I'm trying to find out is, if by "phasing" in his potty as a normal day to day thing and only using it once a day, am I kind of implying that it's an option? Or should I put it away till he is ready, bring it out, and yes I agree with the cold turkey thing, just go for it. Do YSWIM?

I expect it to take a good while and appreciate the matter of distraction etc, I'm aware it will take full attention and visiting friends with posh houses is out!

Another thing I was told once by a woman I met, when she trained her ds (just before 3rd birthday IIRC) no nappies meant no nappies, so he had a few wet nights, then got the hang of it. IYO is this a good idea? I also know someone who tried this and was washing bedlinen till her ds was 8 so now I'm doubtful this could be such a good plan?

I've seen the thread titles by cod, does she give a bit of prep or throw you in at the deep end? Haven't seen one in ages.

TIA

You know, I was wondering the same thing. My DD's also 20mo and I've been leaving her nappy off at home because she's got a bit of nappy rash. I've been asking her if she needs a wee/poo when she's running around with no nappy on. She says yes, and sits on the potty for ages but does nothing (she looks in it to check) only to wee or poo on the floor 2 minutes later. She did manage 1 poo in the potty but that was because I literally saw it coming and plonked her on there. She got praised for that and was so proud she showed her dad, but hasn't managed anything since then. I'm not really pushing it, I had originally though to wait until this summer when she's 2, it's just that I thought I'd give it a go seeing as I'm having to leave her with the nappy off, coupled with the fact that she's usually quite good with understanding actions and consequences....

What should I do? Keep asking her if she needs a wee when she has her nappy off and hope that one day the penny will drop, or leave it completely until later on in the year?

DS1 was trained at 21 months, DS2 was also trained early. No problems at all to speak of.

We did the cold turkey style. No pull-ups, just regular trips to the toilet (every hour to start with).

Boys are a bit easier, because if they need a wee when out in the car, you can just let them go discreetly behind a bush

I'm totally new as well so would appreciate some advice. What would be the best way to start? Taking to toilet/potty - how often? Pull ups/training pants/proper pants/nothing? How long should I try before giving up? My ds will be 2 soon and hv suggested I try to get him toilet trained soon. He doesn't say wee or poo at the moment or indicate his nappy is wet/soiled. Am I being too ambitious trying before he indicates this?? Any advice greatly appreciated.

I always wait until the child seems ready & this can be at any age (most of my charges have been 23/26mths) as you have a much quicker success rate.

Straight to proper pants, sitting on the potty every half an hour & giving it full attention for 3-5 days - eg, no playdates at other houses....LOTS of praise!

Magical may, where are you?

Magical May has an e-book which she can send to you.

Good luck!

Got the magical may e-books but still wanted extra advice from 'experienced' trainers. I was hoping I could concentrate for 2 or 3 days solid and then ds would be more aware when left with dh before returning to nursery. Does this sound very ambitious??

mysterymachine, if your child isn't even indicating a wet/soiled nappy he doesn't sound likely to be ready for toilet training tbh but there's no harm in trying for a couple of days.

Totally agree with Scottish Thistle. We went cold turkey for a full week, mostly spent at home within striking distance of a potty. It was really boring and tedious (how much plasticine can you do) but after that week our DS refused nappies totally apart from sleep times. We've had quite a few accidents, but by offering frequent potty stops (every half hour at first) we made it part of his routine. It took a full month before he started taking the initiative though but now it seems there's no going back. Friends of ours who opted for trainer pants still have lots of accidents, as they feel like nappies and are probably confusing. Good luck!

brangelina my DD is 20m as well and did exactly what yours did.

I am going to wait a bit longer I think.

OK thanks for you advice. I am now thinking that I will ignore the hv at this point and wait until he starts to indicate he is wet.