How do you explain the death of a family pet to toddlers?

[Northend77]

On Monday our beloved family dog is going to visit the vet for the last time. I plan to pick up my 2 (nearly 3) year old twins from nursery a bit early so that I can field any questions before my DH gets home (he's technically his dog and he's devastated). I know they will ask where the dog is as they often hug him when they get home and I plan to just say "he's not here anymore/he's gone" as they are only young and don't tend to ask too many questions but if they then ask "gone where", what do I say? My mum's dog recently passed and she told them he'd gone on holiday and they fairly quickly forgot about him but that was a dog they only saw once a week. What would you say?

I was really worried about telling DD5 that our 15 year old dog had died. Sat and thought of the best way to tell her for ages. Finally told her and she smiled and toddled off to play with her barbies!

I didn't know whether to be concerned about her reaction or happy she wasn't upset.

Don't stress about it too much, you cant judge a kids reaction.

We told ours at similar ages that he had gone to live on a farm i'm sure they probably haven't ever considered that he isn't still there. Probably others will advocate a robust discussion about death and dying...but i'm a coward with that sort of thing so tend to insulate.

I'm so sorry. This must be very tough for you all.

I don't think you should ever lie to kids. I would be clear and say that it's a sad day and that the dog has died. He won't be coming back. It's OK to be sad, Daddy will be sad. Oh, and avoid saying he's gone to sleep and will never wake up, as some kids find this very scary, thinking it could apply to them.

I would tell that that he has died.
In fact I would probably tell them that morning the Ddog won't be there when they get home from nursery.
I think children need to be told the truth & have the facts explained to them in words that they can understand.
You could say that it is very say that Ddog has died and that it is quite normal to be upset and cry and miss Ddog. They may react or they may not. They may ask questions later. If you have any sort of religious belief it is often easier to say that the Dog's soul has gone to heaven / God and that Ddog's body no longer works and we can't see Ddog anymore.

"Mini Official the dog was very old/ill and died sorry"

About covers it.

Our rabbit had to be pts recently. Told DD3 that he had been very poorly and the vet/hospital couldn't fix him and so he died. We had to explain that he wouldn't be coming back and she has since brought it up from time to time so it has obviously sunk in.
I do worry slightly about the 'poorly' as we have also talked about Nanny being poorly and is being poorly and had to clarify that we will get better but I think you have to be honest if possible.

We recently had to put our cat to sleep. We just told our 3 year old that she had died so we won't see her anymore. We didn't want to say gone to sleep as we thought that might worry her about sleeping herself! She was fine. This sounds callous, but the more matter of fact you are (however privately upset) the easier they will take it, I think. Sorry for your loss

Oh, I didn't tell her ahead of time as I thought it would cause more trauma. Rightly or wrongly I didn't think the idea that we had 'chosen' to pts would help.
Maybe make sure they do a big cuddle and goodbye to the dog in the morning without necessarily knowing that it is the final one.

for you, it's a horrible time.

Tell them he died. There's a mog book where mog dies which is extremely good at covering it.

www.amazon.co.uk/Goodbye-Mog-Judith-Kerr/dp/0007149697?tag=mumsnetforum-21

Oh Pottering, that book made me sob!? Love Mog. (Sorry, not really helping!).

Thanks everyone. I do like the idea of saying that he was ill and the vet/doctor couldn't fix him as they do understand the idea of fixing things to make them work/better. I don't think that will harbour any follow up questions as they know that some things can't be fixed. I'll just have to think on my feet!

When they've seen squashed snails and the like and I say they are dead, they never react or ask what I mean so I don't think they know what dead means so it's probably not worth trying to explain it to them. Obviously I will do my best if their questions head that way but I think they'll be happily distracted with Rusty Rivets or Nella the Princess Knight!

Absolutely dreading DH getting home that day. Unfortunately, as I do the lions share of care for the dog (due to the time DH has to leave for work and that he just doesn't drive or think of things that need to be done) the dog has become a bit of a burden for me, especially in the mornings when trying to get 2 toddlers ready for nursery and me ready for work but he's still DH's baby boy and I know he's heartbroken

And I'm not completely cold hearted, I feel horribly guilty for feeling that way but unfortunately it's just how life has turned out since the twins became toddlers and he got old.

We had to have one of our cats put down last year when our kids were age 2 and 4. We just told them the truth - he was very ill and the vet couldn't make him better. They saw me cry about it (and so did everyone else in the waiting room!) - I don't think that's a bad thing.

Our cat died a few weeks ago - had been to the vet and unwell but came home and died overnight. Our toddler knew she was unwell and we explained that the vet couldn't make her better. He wanted to see her in the morning when she was dead (I had managed to curl her up in a basket so didn't look unpleasant but clearly not moving) and he also wanted to come with us to take her back to the vets.

Other than explaining that we couldn't make her better we settled on explaining that she had done everything that she needed to do here and that she was loved and with people she loved.

He still asks why Socks died a month on, and we reexplain that her heart stopped and we couldn't make her better and that yes it is sad and OK to be sad.

Generally doing OK but watch out as toddlers can ask the same question a hundred times!!!

Our son really cried when we said that he couldn't play with Socks( any more and then he got his toy medical kit to try and make her better (which made husband and I howl!!)

Thoughts are with you all.

Say he has died and become star dust, then later they can choose which star he is.

If you run away from the fact of death your children will too and that can bring aboutenrmous problems when they experience the death of someone close which you can't hide.

You could buy "Goodbye Mog", the last of the Mog series (great boo - about a cat unsurprisingly) which they (and you, perhas) would find helpful. Sadness if normal and not to be aboided under these circumstances.

I would be honest and tell them the dog has died. They are unlikely to be too upset as they won't have a proper concept of what death really is at their age. I always think the death of a pet is a good opportunity to introduce children to death.

I would avoid any "gone on holiday" stories. Hear that too many times, and some children will start thinking that anyone who going on holiday isn't going to come back 😕

That's a good point about the holiday - we are all off on holiday (their first one) in 4 weeks and so might not be a good idea to link the 2 (will make sure mum gives them the same information I do). And I think I'll get the book later today. Thanks everyone