My daughters dad smacked her and I'm furious!

[bethswayne]

So today my daughter and her dad had their supervised contact which at the moment until court is over and get some sort of arrangement in place I am doing to supervising I sit in the corner where I can still see them and I don't intervene unless i have to anyways..

Today we went to a soft play centre and my daughter (who is 18mo) was running round having fun playing with other children in the ply centre and her dad was close by I then noticed that he was on his phone and my daughter had climbed up on to a table and was just sat on the table. I started to watch closer just incase he didn't do anything then I seen him smack her and I instantly went over and said that was not ok and took daughter away from the situation. I understand that I'm the U.K. Smack is ok if it is a reasonable punishment for what the child has done but I can't see that being reasonable I mean if he was concentrating on his daughter and not his phone then that whole situation could of been prevented by him not letting her climb up their in the first place. I'm still extremely angry as he didn't apologise and he thinks smacking is ok as he's mentioned it in passing before and I have made my feelings on it VERY clear. I'm highly against smacking regardless of what the child has done their is much better ways of dealing with things like this surely?

Sorry about the long post xx

I would be as angry as you are. Hitting an 18 month old for climbing on a table is absolutely disgusting. It was HIS fault she was climbing on the table, FFS.

I can't think of any reason to smack an 18mo. None whatsoever. He's an arsehole and I would not be leaving her in his care again. Ever.

Is there anyway contact could be supervised in a contact centre?

Smacking might be legal, but I would say smacking a 1 year old is pretty much socially unacceptable.

Smacking shouldn't be legal anyway, but smacking a baby because you're an arsehole should definitely be. If it's supervised contact, isn't there somebody you should be telling?

Definitely not be, obvs...

I agree smacking is completely unacceptable and even more so as it clearly wasn't her fault, but you supervising contact seems awkward. Surely a better arrangement needs to be made?

I would consider that the end of supervised contact. Call your solicitor on Monday. Two things - risk of injury not noticing her climbing on a table and smacking her. Indefensible.

I understand that I'm the U.K. Smack is ok if it is a reasonable punishment for what the child has done

OP I am sorry if this offends you; but I just need to say this...

It feels as if you are saying that you would be ok with him smacking your child for a different reason i.e something a little more extreme??!

In my books smacking a child is never ever acceptable no matter what they've done.

I'd call your solicitor and stop contact until the next hearing. Who the fuck hits a baby?

Mind you I disagree with smacking a child at any age, but she's tiny, so that's even worse in my opinion.

lobster I think maybe op meant that it is considered okay by law. In other countries it is considered illegal whatever the reason you might have for hitting your child.

I think OP you should stop contact until you have legal advice

If you read the end of my post I put that I'm highly against smacking regardless of what the child has done? And I know me supervising it is a bit awkward but we're in the middle of a court case I'm going for supervised contact in a contact centre and he wants 50% contact.. me supervising is a temporary situation so he can still have some sort of relationship with her. I'm a first time mum and haven't got a clue what to do in a situation like this I'm finding it very difficult so I'm just trying to get through it the best I can. I've got an appointment with my solicitor next week so I'm going to speak to her about it then.. I just wanted to know I wasn't overreacting

You were very clear about your position OP.

That is not okay. Not in any circumstance, not at any age. It's making me feel physically sick that he has smacked a baby! I am so, so sorry! If that was me and I witnessed that happening to my DD I'd have lost it! But that would be the wrong thing to do and you did well to stay calm. Speak to a solicitor. It's more than warranted

You're not overreacting and I think the lengths you'll go to to preserve a relationship between father and daughter is commendable. It can't be easy for you, but you're putting your child first. Well done OP, I think you sound great fwiw.

Thank you all so much i feel better about how I reacted now after he done it I took my daughter out of situation but I felt like it was my fault like I should have stopped that from happening some how I went home immediately and cried because I could not believe that he actually done that.. I'm now worried that if the courts rule that he is aloud over night access and then when he has her I'm just going to be sat at home when he's with her worrying, like I mean I'm far from a perfect parent! But I would never ever even think about laying a finger on my one let alone my precious little daughter the whole situation is just a mess and I feel like I'm drowning!😩😩😩