Staying calm before a planned Caesarean

[archersfan3]

I have an ELCS booked: it's v handy to know the date to plan childcare for DS1, and CS is def the right option for various reasons.
However I am a huge worrier - never had an official diagnosis or been on any medication but have done online CBT course and def have anxiety traits. In general I appear outwardly very calm but bottle up a lot of stress and worry without expressing it which isn't very healthy.
In no particular order I am worrying about
-the recovery with a toddler around
-hanging about for hours in the hospital in the morning until they're ready for me and possibly feeling faint etc because of nil by mouth
-being postponed to another day because of emergencies

• staying in the ward afterwards where I found it very very stressful after emergency CS last time.
• establishing breastfeeding which I'm very keen to do again so I'm not faffing about with bottles/sterilising.
• not having organised everything - I sort of feel like there's no excuse not to have everything completely sorted since I know exactly what day I'm going in, therefore I should have the freezer stocked with nourishing home cooked meals etc etc, but I'm just too tired from dealing with toddler to do much of this sort of thing.

Rationally I know that the general consensus seems to be that planned CS is a better experience than emergency, and that simple things like baby arriving during the day will help (DS1 arrived at midnight so DH was sent away more or less straight afterwards until 11am when visiting hours started).

I'm not worried about the actual medical procedures or surgery really.

I'm trying hard to keep busy so I'm not just counting down the days - don't have a lot of choice as DS is boisterous and on summer holidays from preschool - but somehow I still have plenty of mental space to worry about it!

And now I'm worrying that I'll be all stressed on the day and that won't help the baby/breastfeeding etc etc. Which I know is ridiculous.

Any tips on keeping calm for the next week or so?? Anything helpful I could do to feel prepared that isn't physically demanding?

Sorry for the rambling, it helps just to get it out sometimes!

Hi OP,

I've got a planned CS booked for two weeks tomorrow.

My son (now 3) was born by ELCS and I have to say that the way I felt as I walked into the hospital knowing I was going to meet my baby was amazing. I was a little nervous but my excitement levels were through the roof. I honestly think that emotions I felt that morning were the best emotions I have ever felt, it was overwhelming, I was on Cloud 9, I felt so happy.

FWIW I didn't have any pre-cooked or batch frozen meals in my freezer that time and I won't have this time either

What exactly is it that you are stressed about?

Hi writer, I remember you from the baby/feeding boards - think our older sons are the same age.

It's hard to put my finger on exactly what I'm worried about - I suspect if I didn't have a CS planned I'd be anxious about going into labour at an awkward time and trying to find someone to look after toddler at short notice/toddler being upset from seeing me in labour, so partly it's just that I'm a stressy person.....

I think I am most worried about coping on the ward because it was so horrible last time - individual staff did their best but overall I found it very very stressful (due to a whole range of factors but for example not being able to sleep at all for the whole 36 hours I was there because it was so noisy). But perhaps some of that was coloured by having been through the labour/baby in distress/emergency CS situation. And also knowing what to expect might help I hope - I'd never been in hospital before so really had no idea what it would be like.

I've had 2 planned C Sections. I was a very nervous mum. I found a hypno birthing cd specifically for c sections very helpful in some visualisation techniques to calm me down.

Oops posted too soon, also I had no problems establishing breastfeeding, I think having skin to skin quite quickly really helped (you can ask for this) and feeding them in under an hour from birth.

I was discharged a lot quicker the second time, I think because I had feeding established quickly and was a lot more confident.

You'll cope with the toddler, things that helped me were having lots of activities and treats put away for times of long feeding sessions and also teaching my older child to get in and out the bath and onto the toilet etc.

Good luck, my last elective section was amazing (I think because I'd been through it before), very relaxed and obviously very memorable!

Wrt to the recovery, make sure you take any painkillers offered, with my last elcs I had some new fangled epidural which provided pain relief for a few hours afterwards, so no morphine (slightly disappointed ha). I have had 3 sections and found it beneficial to get up and about as soon as you feel able.

I too hated the stay in post natal wards, it's so hot and noisy and stressful. In fact I discharged myself after 24 hours with my last! It's always an option if everything goes to plan, it was bliss to get home and just relax in my own bed.

Good luck with it all

I had my first ELCS two weeks ago and can echo what has been said. I felt the same pressure to have everything ready though as I knew the date, but you can't ever be 100% prepared IMO. I found reading up on c-section recovery tips and breastfeeding the most useful.

Just because you have a planned section doesn't mean you should and are expected to have everything sorted at home - try to change that way of thinking if you can.
My tips would be:-
I found recovery quick but keep on top of painkillers and do a little each day.
Do you have anyone who can take your toddler on little trips out each day eh to the park for an afternoon. Not too long so they don't feel they are missing out but just to give you and baby a little space
If your toddler watches lots of cbeebies and eats fish fingers and chips more than once a week don't worry it will do them no harm
Pack something to do while waiting in the hospital - knitting or crochet if you do that, a book, films on the iPad, card games just to help you pass the time
Don't be afraid to ask for help with breastfeeding
I used natal hypnotherapy cd especially for elcs and it was great at keeping me calm
Good luck

First of all STOP being so bloody hard on yourself!!

I had a second planned section after emergency first time around

My day went like this, dropped DD at nursery, arrived at hospital, spoke to the anaesthetist, went to the ward and changed, got called down and it was over and done with by mid morning. He BF really well, no problems with pain or movement after section, worst bit was the cannula still in my sodding hand!! By far it was miles easier than my first emergency section. DH picked up DD and they came to visit - perfect day ❤️

Thank you everyone - really nice to hear lots of positive stories rather than dwelling on my previous experience!
I have organised some help for toddler from grandparents while I'm in hospital, and if I'm still having trouble after husband is back to work there are local friends/neighbours who I'm sure would help out too if I asked - I'm just not always very good at asking!!
Once term starts toddler will be in preschool so I'll have plenty of 1:1 time with the baby then.
I hadn't heard about the hypnobirthing CDs for CS - might be a bit late to get hold of one now but will have a look and see what's out there.

Hi archers - I could have written your OP! I am booked in for an ELCS in just under three weeks' time (following an EMCS for DC1) and I am bricking it!

Like you, I tend to feel quite anxious about things and have been feeling a lot of pressure to get everything ready and perfect at home before the big day which is stressing me out more.

I don't have any experience of my own to add (other than to say that I have spoken to a few people who have had ELCSs after EMCSs and they have unanimously said how much more positive they found the EMCS experience) but am sending you my best wishes and will be watching this thread with interest!

3 weeks is quite a while to know in advance! I'm glad I only had ten days notice...
Although to complicate matters I'm pretty sure I've passed the mucus plug today (sorry if TMI!) so it's possible baby might put in an appearance before the booked date.... With DS1 I went into labour a few hours later but I know it can vary a lot so I am now trying not to obsess about every twinge of indigestion...
If it does come early it will be more awkward for toddler care (grandparents are very willing to help but can't do it at short notice) but on the other hand it's a good sign that baby is fully 'cooked'.
I hope it all goes well for you, I have been feeling calmer about it now I've got used to the idea.... Just off to double check the hospital bag in case it surprises us...

Ooooh good luck archers - hope everything goes as smoothly as possible if baby is indeed putting in an early appearance.

No sign of anything else happening so far....
Have been incredibly grumpy and irritable today but I think that's because I have a cold and 3 year old was being a 3 year old!