The pressure to be a subpar parent on Facebook

[SkyWalker95]

Has anyone else found it like this? Just saw another one of those posts going round saying "Of course I don't cook healthy home cooked meals every night, real mother's know it's smiley faces and chicken nuggets half the time". I know if I replied opposing the post all hell would rain down on me. I made that mistake once, never again.

And you always see these brags about how they haven't done the housework they were supposed to today, forgot about their kids homework or project, stolen their child's treat, or couldn't wait to chuck their child in bed so they could drink a bottle of wine, ect. I always see people complaining about taking them to events or something they are actually excited about. They all cheer eachother on but then anyone who is trying to be the best parent they can be gets slated.

I think it's appalling and I can't be the only one who thinks that, right?

Yes I suppose it is iggity

It's just supposed to be a joke about the times we all choose to do something less than ideal as a parent because parenting is hard. Im pretty confident none of them are genuinely a 'bad parent' nor competing to be so, nothing you see on Facebook is actually an accurate depiction of someone's life. It's supposed to be an antidote to people pretending to be perfect mothers 100% of the time, if you don't like it, don't follow those people

@QuiteLikely5 I guess you can't win either way then

A bag of potatoes lasts a week and costs £1 and a bag of smiley faces probably lasts a couple of days and costs what £2? It is cheaper.

Think that's why I find them annoying though, because they are so false, pretending to be bad, neglectful parents. Each to their own though.

Exactly, it doesn't take more effort or cost more than healthy foods. It's ridiculous. Yeah maybe some people are bowing to peer pressure and claiming to be bad parents when they aren't but that pressure must be derived from reality some where down the line. It's so sad they don't want to be the best possible parent for their children.

timeisnotaline Eh? Doesn't mean I have to enjoy reading their blog does it? "What else are they supposed to write about?" - how about nothing.

There's so many mummy blogs. They are all dull.

The Unmumsy Mum will have a field day if she sees this thread!

@SkyWalker95 do you realise how many mums with PND have been helped with these blogs you disapprove of so much. They are lighthearted and meant to show other mums that no-one is perfect, some days we fuck up and that you aren't alone in the struggle that is bringing up kids.

I don't mind them. I'd far rather read a bit of self deprecating humour I can identify with - even if I know it's exaggerated - than look at somebody's Pinterest perfect life and feel like shit that I'm not constantly baking and crafting with DD

It's so sad they don't want to be the best possible parent for their children.

I'm pretty sure that anybody who puts the time and effort into blogging about being a parent, even if they're presenting themselves as less than perfect, is actually likely to be a great parent

Why are people talking about unrelated things now... Did I miss something?

It's a conversation. It wends its way along.

Do calm down though if you want to get back to your OP. Unfriend them, unfollow them. Problem solved.

YY ShuttyTown, I find those blogs really helpful and supportive rather than all the 'they grow up so quickly' and 'loving every minute' shit. Those things are all related to showing the imperfections of parenting.

2 mums in my social circle call their babies dickheads and laugh about it. It's like they're competing to be the most outrageously offensive. I can't stand it. There is nothing funny about calling a 6 month old baby a dickhead because it woke up at an inconvenient time.

It seems like a backlash against the yummy mummy trend but it just needs to stop now, it's gone way too far.

LittleBear I don't think you understand how Facebook works

The 'perfect' ones are the ones I can't stand. I know someone who's just become a first time mum (but she's not a boring 'mumsy' mum of course...her description in a blog post)
She's a very normal (we thought), nice (that's also now in question) person irl but has turned into a crazy blogger now she's had her pfb.

She takes staged photos, with props, and writes about all matter of mundane things about motherhood. The type of thing that, privately, means the world to you and your partner and is so important but really is just utterly dull and uninteresting for others to read.
It's painfully cringey.

I've discreetly unfollowed

I haven't found any mummy blogs that I enjoy. Constance Hall is without doubt the most irritating to me - all that empowering mighty goddess bollocks turns my stomach. I guess there's always an element of preening that is offputting- in the self-deprecating ones, they often seem to be trying desperately hard to show they are just too cool and edgy to settle into yummy mummydom.
I guess that motherhood is a bloody minefield and that anyone appearing to be too pleased with how they are handling it just raises the hackles!

I quite like the unmumsy mum, I can totally relate! Parenting is HARD, sometimes something just has to give, sometimes our precious little darlings do THE MOST ridiculous things and we have to find humour in it.
What I don't like is when people call their children awful names and parents that act like their children drive them to drink but those things are just things that hit a nerve for me.

I think The Unmumsy Mum is hysterical. She obviously adores her boys and although most of her blogs about them are when they are misbehaving it's fine with huge amounts of affection and it always makes me laugh.
I my head she is a 'normal' mum and she set out to make normal mums feel normal by being extra 'self-depreciating' so that when we are faced by a 'Ruth' and #makingmemories etc, that we don't feel crap that we are still in pyjamas and all our kids have done on that one particular day is watch tv.

I'm a new mum and whilst I have visions of home cooked food (I'm a chef by trade and I can 100% guarantee you it's cheaper to cook meals from scratch and in bulk!) and woodland adventures and holidays to the Scilly Isles to see basking sharks...I've no doubt there will be days when it's fishfingers, chips and beans, when it's tv and the garden, or when it's Lloret Del Mar kids club and sports bar (well maybe not the last one as my worst nightmare!)

There are lots of bloggers I don't find funny or interesing...so I just don't read them 👍

The worst are done by women who want to brag off their time spent with their kids so they can get you to join them in selling cosmetics. "eeks! I made a whole Sunday roast whilst earning money by selling mascars from my laptop #making memories" etc etc

Hmm, reading this thread makes me feel #soblessed

Yes I do understand how Facebook works.