Post your routine with a new baby :) (I'm trying to settle into motherhood!)

[Abbie1711]

I've turned a huge page in my life today! I suffered TERRIBLY with anxiety for the past 2 weeks following a traumatic birth and I've still got bells palsy. Today is the first day I can finally see an end to this trauma!

But I was struggling to bond with baby because of everything and I'm still feeling as though I'm doing a shitty job with day to day routines
She's only 2 weeks old I know, so I can't force baby to sleep and eat at my times, but I just wondered how peoples days normally run in terms of morning times, what time you generally settle baby for 'bed' and how your day goes?
Generally interested in mums who are at home, as I've suddenly gone from working full time to having a baby... I used to be up early for work and enjoyed it!

My baby is 11 weeks and she gets up around 730am, I change her then feed, then put her in a little bouncer chair in the bathroom so I can have a shower then she watches me dry hair etc. She feeds 5 times a day about every 4 hours (but sleeps from about 11pm to 730am)
We generally have an activity in the morning, swimming, baby yoga, baby sensory. Then we have the afternoon free or sometimes meet NCT people for lunch. I try and go for a walk every day.
Also just started the gym so when OH comes home I go there 3 times a week for an hour at a time. Then Bath at night about 8pm
We haven't exactly got a set routine but that's the general gist!

Newborns are hard, Congratulations though! The thing I really wished I hadn't stressed about are the first 12 weeks. No baby has a pattern (other than being a bit cranky in the evening for several hours) and so I'd just keep things quiet and darker between 7pm-7am and light and some noise 7am-7pm (roughly) so baby can get used to night and day. But honestly do whatever you need to. I have a 1 and 2.5yr old and for both I did a bath, feed, bed routine from quite early on 7pmish for my own sake. It probably didn't help until 8 weeks minimum but made me feel better! You're doing fine if your baby is feeding and sleeping lots at the moment. It gets easier after 3, 6, 9 months I found (different challenges but I prefer them over 1!) Xx

It is such hard work having a new born. I hated it. Likely you I had a traumatic birth and we ended up back in hospital so we were only home by day 10.

It feels so odd at the time but don't put any pressure on yourself to be out and about. A newborn is a crisis situation if by the end of the day you have showered and eaten then you have achieved everything you need to.

It is normal to not fall instantly in love with you baby and to even regret having them. Another cliche but I found using a sling helped with this. Do not go on a baby massage course until you are ready and then if you want go to one which is realise that not all babies want to be massaged at that moment in time.

Again when you are ready look for a baby social type class or drop in so you can meet other Mums with babies he same age.

As for routine at 2 weeks and in fact for much longer it used to take me until way past lunch to get to dressed.

Dd barely knew night and day at 2 weeks so the only real routine was cluster feeding in the evening, desperately refusing to sleep in he returned Moses basket early evening, and waking me regularly through the night!

By 4 weeks she had fallen into a rough 3.5 hr feed pattern in the day and I'd shower with her watching in the bouncy chair. All naps were on me or DH until 3 months though.

At 2 weeks the only real routine is feeding every 2-3 hours.

By 6 weeks my fog had lifted a bit and we started to work towards waking around 8/9am and napping during the day consistently.

All naps until 3 months were in a vibrating bouncy chair. Then I would rock to sleep and transfer to cot (day and night). I would also feed to sleep if I could but usually I had to rock.

2 weeks with dd1 was absolutely shit. I wondered hourly why the fuck I thought I wanted a dc, etc . I was pretty miserable.

But it gets better and easier

I mostly sat on the sofa feeding and watching shit TV!

No routine with a newborn! Just tried to stay calm and sane and enjoy lots of cuddles

Go with the flow while you get to know each other. We all feel like failures from time to time!

Congratulations!!

Wow at 2 weeks I never even thought about routine, I was in zombie mode for much longer than that! Just go with what your baby needs - at this age it's pretty much just feeding, sleeping and pooping, rinse and repeat lol!

Baby is 5 weeks, she's DC2.

Up for the day around 6-7am. She's awake while we have breakfast and a shower, usually crashes out for a nap about 8am.

Mornings she'll sleep for ages if allowed, and she's good at transferring into car seat/sling if we want to go somewhere. She'll breastfeed in the sling too if we're on the move (note this is second child, I was nowhere near this stage with DC1 yet!).

Rest of the day passes in feeding, sleeping, winding etc, depending on when her brother wakes her up or she's hungry. I'm feeding on demand, so just whenever she needs it. Out to playgroups sometimes, or family over.

We start winding down around 5.30 with early dinner for the toddler and lights low, no TV etc. She's changed and in her grobag by 6-7pm and hopefully asleep by then too.

Through the night she's up about 11pm, 1am and 4am for feeds generally. We cosleep and I'm trying to get better at feeding lying down to avoid having to get up as much.

At 2 weeks though I was feeling pretty rubbish, feeding was hard, I was exhausted and we weren't in any kind of rhythm.

Don't beat yourself up about things not going how you expect yet, it's still so early. Allow yourself just to survive and get through each day at the moment and in a few weeks you'll have fallen into a new normal and probably feel a bit more adjusted.

My 2 week old DS has just fallen asleep on my chest so I'm enjoying the newborn cuddles. No routine here (EBF) but he normally goes 2 hrs between feeds, and as long as it isn't torrential rain I try to get us both outside for 5 minutes each day, this might be in the garden, a walk or to the breastfeeding support clinic. I've managed to go for a coffee once when I had my Mum with me. 2 weeks is early days, take it slowly and build up gradually.

At two weeks there's no routine.
Having said that mine were in hospital till 4 weeks so were on the nicu routine which I carried on with when they came home. It's tge same as Gina ford (so shoot me) but two weekends way too early to start a routine.
💐

I had no routine at all at that age. Ebfd on demand still doing that at 21mo so feeding, cuddling, napping and Netflix!

I'm not sure how it's viewed these days but with my second I was desperate for a routine As had toddler as well and found the baby whisperer really helpful which wasn't about timings but about Eat Activity Sleep Youtime and had lots about Keeping things simple e.g. An activity for a newborn can just be s change and looking At a simple board book
It gets a bit more predictable by 6-8 weeks
Getting out every day for a stroll is sanity saving

Baby wakes
Feed baby
Wind baby
Sit on floor with baby between your legs. Sneek a look in nappy to check for poo, change if needed
Do 5-15 minutes of smiling at, playing with baby whilst on the floor between your legs. Stop at first grumble.
See if extra milk if wanted
Settle to sleep
Baby asleep

and repeat...

Wake
Feed
Wind
Nappy & Play
Extra milk
Sleep

...repeat over and over again from the moment you wake up until the moment you go to bed.

OP I think all this advise can depend on other factors controlled by your baby e.g. Feeding problems and reflux. My baby would feed for 2 hours and then sleep for 15 mins and then feed for another 2 hours.

It is all about survival at the moment.

There is no routine. Both mine were up and awake at 10pm for months. I just went with it. I have a very happy 5yo and 4yo now.. Happily going to bed on their own

Sorry, it's just survival for now, and will be for some time. Not that different just coming up to 6 weeks with DS apart from cumulative sleep deprivation and Dh and i now doing evening/night in shifts, as wind =grizzling, sometimes for much of the night. So i express if i can in the day, head up at 8 leaving DH with DS after we bath him. I try to tune out and sleep til 11ish but Ds may be brought in for feeds.

Then Dh tries to put ds down in crib about 11 and heads to spare room. I sleep/listen to grizzly ds/feed/wind/ get possetted on til about 7 when Dh gets up and takes him for an hour so i nap.

so we have a routine, he doesn't!

Two week routine - ba haha! None

Basic list of what to do when baby cries

1. Food
2. Nappy
3. Wind
4. Too hot/cold
5. Needs a cuddle
6. Start at 1 again until baby happy to sleep

If all else fails but baby in pram and go for a walk

By 3-4 months we had a outline of a routine, ate roughly every 3 hours would have a long nap in the afternoons and went to bed about 8 and slept for 5-6 hours, feed, wake 5-6am

No routine here either!
DD is 5 weeks old and also had traumatic birth, a stay in hospital and issues with weight loss and breastfeeding problems.
It's all starting to come together now and all I've really done for 5 weeks is feed, feed, feed!!
Lots of water, lots of snacks, slept whenever she went down after a big feed. I never bothered when she had a small feed as knew she'd wake in an hour. Left my DP to deal with housework and evening meals. Made sure I had meals to microwave for my lunch.
One thing I learned very early on is that it's very difficult to commit to being anywhere on a schedule with a newborn. If I said to a friend I'll meet you at 10am for a coffee then il be there anywhere between 9-11am! My dad wanted to book a table for lunch at 12pm for a Sunday lunch last week...nope!! I told him I'd text him when she stopped feedin and we'd just have to turn up. She fed from 11-2pm that day so we missed it altogether and he bought a pizza round 😂

Thanks for the replies, I've loved reading them all and it's made me feel a bit more sane
I just felt lazy for lounging in my pj's until about 1pm and not being bothered to do much else after a crappy nights sleep, but it sounds like that's pretty much the norm!

I hate the idea of being 'up' at 5 or 6am though... Eeek I hate that thought! She generally has a feed around that time then goes back to sleep until about 8 or 9 then again for now feed then sleep on my chest until about 11/12 then I might think about getting out of bed... Then I feel rubbish and lazy for still being in bed!

You've just grown another human OP. And now tending to that little human every 2 hours. Not being in bed until lunchtime is NOT being lazy! Be kind to yourself x

Oops. Ignore the first 'not'! Stay in bed as long as you like 😊