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I feel like crying.........

5 replies

Amandella · 14/07/2004 19:26

My gorgeous and long-awaited second baby is just over 5 months old and seemed a quiet, happy, placid baby for the first 3 months or so....but what a difference in the last 8 weeks or so!! Firstly, I decided to try and get her to take a bottle of formula milk during the day to get her used to it. Well, she steadfastly refused to take it and since then I've tried every single bottle/teat on the market, along with every type of formula milk (warm/cold) and with all my friends and family feeding her and she still refused it.....so I gave up on that although in iself this is difficult because she feeds every 4 hours (including through the night still) and it means I can't take a break and get my dh to feed her. On top of this, I have been visiting a gym since she was 3 months and leaving her (happily!) in the creche. Well, for the past 4 occasions she has screamed non-stop to the point that they have had to call me back to the creche and so I've had to cancel my gym because she won't stay there anymore. Surely she's too young to have separation anxiety??

I feel at the end of my tether - I'm also very worried because I have a nursery place booked for her for 2 days a week from September and I just don't know how she's going to be able to go...I have visions of them chucking her out!!

I feel so exhausted - my eldest dd was such an easy, adaptable baby and now I feel she's being pushed to the back because i have to spend every minute with my new baby otherwise she screams. She won't even let me leave the room and she won't play on her gym or with her toys unless I'm sat with her. I feel like I can't see any light at the moment. Why is she like this - is there something wrong with her or have I made her feel insecure in some way?? I just don't know what to do. I'm desperate to spend some quality time with my eldest and with my dh (who works and is out of the house from 7am to 8pm each day!).... help!!!!

She is still breastfedd

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
tamum · 14/07/2004 19:33

My dd got separation anxiety at exactly this age- I thought it was too young to be that, but it was, clearly. She started nursery at 7 months and was fine, having outgrown it quickly too. Neither of mine ever took a bottle, but were fine at nursery (although this was mornings only,so they fed for England as soon as I got them home).

I can't say anything except it's nothing you've done wrong, honest!

wellsie · 14/07/2004 22:13

Amandella, DS is just over 6mths and at about 5mths he became very whiney whenever I left the room and even started to scream house down at bedtime. I too thought that he couldn't have separation anxiety at this age but on reflection I think he did.
He is much better now to the point that my parents looked after him last Sunday and he didn't miss us at all!!
Also, DS was a real pain with the bottle - it really upset me, I had visions of him breastfeeding at 18 . Anyway, the way we over came this is we basically starved him - cruel I know and pretty hard to do but it worked and we've never looked back. The way I looked at it was what if something happened to me and there was no boob anymore, well he'd have to have a bottle then, so I got tough (am a wimp with everything else). Another mum I know also did this and it has worked for her.
Babies change so quickly and what seems like a nightmare stage will soon pass and then you'll be on to the next one! We currently have the rolling in cot problem
Take care and have a nice hot bath tonight - I've just had one and it was lovely.

Spod · 15/07/2004 00:30

my dd was the same... shes better-ish now, altough we still have days where i'm not allowed out of her sight. it is so frustrating isnt it, i do empathise! youre not doing anything wrong. For a few weeks i overdosed my dd with my attention, not letting her get to the point of feeling anxious... she even came to the loo with me for goodness sake... she then seemed far more secure... plenty of people will tell me thats a bad thing to do because its 'giving in' or whatever, but i was more concerned that she should know all was well. and now she does and is fine. hang in there, it'll pass.

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Amandella · 15/07/2004 00:40

Thank you everyone for your messages - it helps to know that I'm not alone in going through this! My dh came home early tonight and cooked me a nice dinner as I think he feels guilty that he can't help me more. I have just sat in the bedroom and watched my beautiful children sleeping and I know that it is all worthwhile but sometimes it just gets too much. Anyway, I do feel a bit better now. Also my mum is coming to stay the week after next and she's determined to help me get the baby onto a bottle - I really think that will help.....

Thanks again everyone - I really appreciate your support.
Amandella xx

OP posts:
handlemecarefully · 15/07/2004 00:45

Could you persevere with the gym creche? My dd (now 23 months) started going to the gym creche from the age of 3 months and was inconsolable the first few times, but it passed. I resolved it by booking her in for an hour only, and taking her 3 or 4 days running. If you are leaving big gaps between gym visits this could be the problem (because she 'forgets' the staff and the place in between)...

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