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Parenting

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Original poster

5 week old refusing to sleep - please help

20 replies

Charlieislovely · 31/07/2017 18:45

Hi all,

Im really at my wits end. My five week old son is refusing to go to sleep during the day and gets 4 hours sleep at most during the night.

I am now really concerned as it seems to be getting worse. This morning he was up from 4.30 and has not slept since. I took him out in the pram twice and he dozed off for a bit but woke the minute I got back to my flat, and the same with the car. I have tried everything else.

Has anyone else been in this situation or have anything to recommend?

His eyes are wide open but he looks absolutely exhausted.

Thanks

OP posts:

LunaGirl22 · 31/07/2017 18:48

He might be going through a leap, some kids really struggle with them...I can't say anything helpful other then to say I was in the same position, DD wasn't that great at sleeping, be patient, get some good box sets on the telly and keep telling yourself that it doesn't last forever xx

Rockspin · 31/07/2017 18:53

How is he feeding? Have you checked his temperature? (My dd2 is 10 weeks and has real trouble regulating her temperature in this weird up down hot/cool weather and struggles to settle till we get it right). How much winding are you doing after feeds? Are you putting straight down to sleep or holding him? Dark and quiet rooms? Are you rocking him?

Original poster

Charlieislovely · 31/07/2017 19:04

Thank you ladies for your responses. I have struggled as it is as a first time mum so the no sleep part is proving so difficult.

He is in the lounge with me now, the room is dark and no tv on, but he is just laying on his plat mat awake, alert and enjoying the toys above his head.

I feel guilty as I want to soothe him and have him on me but he just gets frustrated as if he wants to be entertained, hence me putting him on his play mat.

He has also been feeding much more, every hour and a half and 4/5 ounces each time.

Do you think its worth me going to the walk in A&E just to check hes not un well?

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CatsCantFlyFast · 31/07/2017 19:21

At 5 weeks he isn't capable of refusing sleep as such, he's just not capable of falling asleep himself. Think of it as your job to get him to sleep - he's a baby and can't do it without your help (in the same way he can't change his own nappy or whatever). Have you read about the 2/3/4 hours for nap time? That's a handy guide for a new baby - so a nap 2 hours after he wakes for the day, then 3 hours after he wakes from that nap, and then four hours after he wakes from that nap it is "bedtime". So between 1 and 2 hours after he first wakes for the day you need to start looking for sleepy signs. Yawns/rubbing ears or eyes/pulling hair/turning head away are early signs. Make sure he's a dry nappy and a full tummy and then work hard to get him to sleep. Swaddle/dummy/rocking/singing/shushing/patting/pushchair/feeding - whatever method you want but you need to work hard to get him to sleep before he's too tired (as lots of babies find it impossible to sleep once overtired). And then repeat three hours after he wakes. Etc
Good luck - it's exhausting (and I remember it being a shock that babies didn't just fall asleep when they were tired! Awkward things!)

Original poster

Charlieislovely · 31/07/2017 19:28

Thank you - I have been doing all of above for the entire day to no luck. Will def give the 2/3/4 thing a try although from the start of the day he just wouldn't go down no matter what. Have just swaddled him and put him in his bouncy chair and he is trying to get out of the blanket, if I don't laugh I'll cry!

OP posts:

Rockspin · 31/07/2017 19:47

Red eyebrows is also a sign of over tiredness. When my dd is fighting sleep (which she is now actually) after making sure she's had loads of boob I wrap her so she's warm (she doesn't like swaddling so it's loose) and we have a walk around the garden and i talk to her about the plants or in the house I take her room to room, everything in a low quiet voice. I keep winding her too, often she has it trapped. And I also stand on the spot and shush and rock.... lots. There is a YouTube baby sleep app that plays classical music on a loop, sometimes I put that on. Eventually she gives up the fight and will go to sleep! My 1st dd was horrendous, at 12 weeks she got better. Dd2 hasn't been as bad, she improved at 6 weeks. Hang in there. Also you'll have your health visitor appt soon so mention it then as they'll check weight and all sorts at that appointment which is peace of mind.

melisma · 31/07/2017 19:55

Merkin I too agree that the 2/3/4 thing was immensely helpful for us, but with all three of our DC only worked from about 6 months onwards. In the newborn stages there's no way they could've done just two long naps.
OP-developmental leap was the first thing that came to mind too, do you have the Wonder Weeks app? It doesn't change much but I personally found it really helpful to know there might be a reason for the sudden fussiness. Other things that saved us were swaddling (not all babies like it but worth a try if you haven't already) and LOUD white noise. You can get an app but DC1 loved the hoover, and DCs 2 & 3 used to like just radio static!

CatsCantFlyFast · 31/07/2017 19:58

Yes I was going to say you might need extra naps for a really tiny baby. I think the idea is though that babies get tired very quickly after not being awake long at all, and often if you miss their tired signals they are then overtired and can't sleep

sadmum2017 · 31/07/2017 20:02

I could have written this OP!

Naps are so important. I'm not saying that to pressure you further, but if you can even slightly increase the daytime sleep you will notice a difference. It's taken me 3 months to get to grips with napping, and even then it's hard work and we don't always get a lovely 2 hour stretch. That's just the way my DS is.

The more tired baby is the harder it is for him to fall asleep and STAY asleep for any useful length of time. How ironic... Also, overstimulation can make them kind of hyper and the look really bright when they're actually exhausted. Your DS on his play mat with the tv on may well be overstimulated. Take him to a darkened room, switch everything off and swaddle him. Rock, sway and pat.

I would do ANYTHING you can to get him to sleep for a 45 minute stretch in the morning, about an hour after waking. Forget the 'rod for your own back' comments for now, just work on getting him to sleep. Rocking, up and down the hall in the pram, cuddling, whatever. Dummy can be a sacred gift from heaven in these situations.

I found that a successful nap made subsequent sleeps easier and led to a better sleep at night. It's so hard though, some babies don't want to sleep for 5 hours during the day. Mine doesn't. At 5 weeks old he would not settle in a room with noise. I had to take him upstairs, but often got a nap myself which is great!

LapinR0se · 31/07/2017 20:02

45 mins awake time absolute max, after that all you should be doing is just getting him to sleep.
2/3/4 is not suitable so young.
He does not need to be entertained, he is too little. He needs 16 hours of sleep per day minimum.
Is he fully bottle fed? Is there much crying or sign of discomfort?

happydays00 · 31/07/2017 20:05

Charlieislovely I think your little one is probably very overtired as they should be sleeping a lot more at 5 weeks (as should you, you poor thing!!) Have you tried a sling, a bouncy chair or a pram? As pp has said, newborns don't tend to fall asleep (or stay asleep) by themselves so sometimes need a little help. Either walking with them in a sling, bouncing their chair with your foot (get yourself a cup of tea, get comfortable on the sofa and just keep rhythmically bouncing them), or keep rocking a pram. Good luck!!

Original poster

Charlieislovely · 31/07/2017 20:09

Thank you ladies.

He has reflux and we are currently trying so many different things as nothing has worked. I think that is the main reason that is keeping him awake as he is probably so uncomfortable.

I just feel so guilty that I can't seem to settle him as I have been trying absolutely everything.

As soon as he is up around 4/5 thats it he refuses to go back down, in the bedroom or front room with no sound and just white noise, being rocked etc.

I am really going to try again tonight and tomorrow.

OP posts:

LapinR0se · 31/07/2017 20:10

Is he on meds for the reflux?

FATEdestiny · 31/07/2017 20:22

Are you breast or bottle feeding?

Are you winding adequately?

Have you tried a dummy?

45 minutes between naps at absolute most, more like 20-30 minutes this age

wake
feed
wind
nappy check
see if any more milk is wanted
back to sleep

That's it. Your day wants to be blocks of time with this repeating.

Baby does not want to play. Baby should be sleeping, pretty much all the time when not feeding.

ZZZZ1111 · 31/07/2017 20:43

I feel your pain, my newborn was a horrific napper! Looking back I don't think I did enough to try to get him to sleep in the early days other than pram and car (which worked great actually but meant that I couldn't rest when he was napping!) I don't think I realised how hard you need to work sometimes to get them to sleep!

Feed him then rock your baby, try walking around with him in a sling, try some white noise. Lights low, TV off etc.

Sontagsleere · 31/07/2017 21:09

I knew it was reflux before you finally mentioned it in your third post! Honestly it is so hard for you and him. He will need a formula change or some infant gaviscon or possibly meds to help him with the acid coming up. My third never cried with his silent reflux but it definitely kept him awake when I knew he was exhausted! Can I ask what is your 'action plan ' for dealing with the reflux?

Original poster

Charlieislovely · 31/07/2017 21:32

Thank you all so much for answering. I'm even struggling to write this out of tiredness. I breastfed for three weeks, then he went on aptamil comfort milk for reflux, then gp prescribed gaviscon which made the formula far too thick, so I've gone to aptamil first formula with a sachet of gaviscon. Have tried the sling many times which he doesn't seem to settle in, only the car or pram. I've finally got him to sleep just now but will be due another feed soon so don't think he'll be asleep for long. Also have white noise on repeat and our house is just darkness ATM. Really hope it improves :(

OP posts:

Sontagsleere · 31/07/2017 21:52

Unfortunately it doesn't sound like it's working then! Get on a support page for mums with reflux babies- Facebook will have some ( I can direct you if you like). Reflux is often caused by milk allergy as well as muscles being underdeveloped which is why some babies outgrow it. Personally we tried osteopath, sitting upright after feeding, little movement after feeding, no trousers around tummy (strictly babygros!) then milk changes (formula with Gaviscon, comfort formula, then extensively hydrolysed ( cows milk protein very broken down) then milk free formula. Magic combination was milk free formula (Neocate-on prescription) and Losec mups twice daily. Wanted to try everything before meds. Once I had him settled on Losec he was completely settled between feeds which is what you need! God I remember the tiredness ( I also had a two year old and one year old with a new born!!!!). But your first is the hardest as it's such a shock and you are learning everything as you go. Hope this helps!

LapinR0se · 01/08/2017 06:37

Gaviscon is not great. It doesn't do much really except make babies constipated.
Given how restless your baby is I'd be straight back to the doctor for omeprazole or one of the other more effective medications

DoubleHelix79 · 01/08/2017 07:00

Our secret weapon for DD (who also didn't think much of naps) was holding her upright (head on chest) while bouncing on one of those giant yoga balls. Worked every time, and much easier on the back than bouncing her unaided.

More recently we've invested in a Mamaroo swing. It's not cheap, but has made it much easier for her to fall alseep and, more importantly, not wake up again the second she finally falls asleep. Got ours off Ebay relatively cheap and intend to sell it on when we're done with it.

She was an absolute nightmare from about five weeks onward, with prolonged hysterical crying several times a day. Really stressful. We finally figured out that it was mostly over-tiredness. We made her nap after being awake 1.5 hours throughout the day and it made a huge difference.

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