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Mean Mums

4 replies

Ningnang2000 · 31/07/2017 16:31

My dd is friends with a group of girls on school and has been since nursery. A couple of years ago one mum blew out of proportion something that my child did - it was investigated and turned out to be an accident ( I was fully prepared to face the music if it was not) I was angry at the way she went about it and how she made me question my own instinct about my child's personality and decided to keep her at arms length but civil for the sake of the kids - I made an effort when required but did not pursue the mum's friendship.

The kids got over it and are still pals at school but last year she did no invite my DC to her DD's party. The parties are getting smaller now and I appreciate not everyone would be invited but DD classed this girl as one of her good friends. Now the mean mum's best friend's dd, who is also in the friend group, is having a party and not inviting my DD. She's pretty upset and now a bit paranoid about why.

I'm not naive as to think my daughter is perfect but any feedback I've had from other parents and teachers is that she is a really well behaved child. Enthusiastic and maybe too bossy for some but not a bad child. Always trys to do the right thing.

So anyway should I try and forge better relationship for the sake of my dd's poor little heart? Ask them individually on playdates /cinema. Kill them with kindness? I'd always thought the kids were being kept out of it but obviously not.

I recently found out that both girls are not allowed out to play but didn't know so happily sent my dd to call for them. Maybe I should apologise to them in case they thought she was inviting herself in. sigh it just upsets me because I know it is worrying my dd ahead of going back to school.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
poweredbybread · 31/07/2017 22:26

How old is your daughter ? Primary or secondary school?

Ningnang2000 · 01/08/2017 09:04

Primary.

OP posts:
poweredbybread · 01/08/2017 10:04

Hi OP this is a really tricky one. I remember issues like this with my daughter at primary school. If they were secondary you could say on for goodness sake why is the mum still decided who she invites to her birthday. But it's more parent intensive at this age. I think the cinema idea is a good one as long as you think you won't offend the other ( others?) girls in the gang. The hanging on to something that happened a while ago says more about the mean mum than it does about the incident you daughter was involved in. I bloody hated it all of that nonsense. Some people are so bloody precious. If the mums are in cahoots and have decided they are all going to exclude your daughter then that is seriously crap and just nasty. I wish I could offer better advice but think taking the girl (S) out without their horrid mums is your best bet. Hope she has doesn't have many years left at that school. Good luck.

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poweredbybread · 01/08/2017 10:46

P.S my daughter also went to stagecoach which opened a whole new load of friendships and really helped her confidence but I know it's not everyone's bag and it's Expensive with a capital E !

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