Accidentally left stair gate open

[Ottmotherx2]

I just caught my toddler about to fall down the stairs because I didn't shut the stair gate.

She was in my room with my partner safely playing on my bed so when I came upstairs I felt she was safe and for some reason didn't close it!!

My partner let her off the bed to play obviously assuming that I wouldn't have left the gate open and she decided to attempt the stairs.

As soon as she looked at them I realised what I had done.

I have been teaching her to walk down them safely but she is new to walking so she always does this holding my hand.

I am struggling to forgive myself.

Has anyone else ever made this slip?

Teach her to go down on her bottom or tummy.

I didn't have a stair gate as I had nothing at the top of the stairs to attach it to.

I know you are mad at yourself, but honestly, it's fine. No harm came to her, and learning how to go down the stairs is something she will have to learn to do. Don't be hard on yourself.

Don't be so hard on yourself. We have all been there!

Thank you

It is all carpet although I know you can still really hurt yourself no matter the surface.

How would you go about teaching to go down on her bottom?

I would also say teach her how to use stairs. My dc never went down on bottom, they went backwards. Never had an accident and actually only stair gates used for dc2 were to keep her out of places.

Don't feel bad, it happens to us all.

I got mine to sit on the top step and then bump themselves down to the next one whilst I did the same thing sitting next to them.

I taught them to say 'bumpity' as they did each step to slow them down and give them the idea that each step is a separate thing to negotiate. Obviously any word would do!

I didn't have a stair gate for my second dd. I couldn't be bothered with the hassle.

Phew, breathe OP. It didn't happen, didn't happen, didn't happen, so please do forgive yourself - bit of a shock but you're all ok & lessons learned for next time :) (I was a complete idiot and transported a chopping board laden with massive sharp knife over the head of toddler DS, and keep getting flashbacks to what if the knife had fallen off. Argh. Anyway, I digress.)
Pretty sure DS1 crawled backwards down stairs quite early and never ever slipped. Try just demonstrating and teaching her. And definitely a good idea to expose to stairs and practice under your supervision, for any more future "what if" moments.

We have never bought a stair gate. DS is 21 months old. He's been going up the stairs on his front and down the stairs backwards since before he walked. He practised on the stairs of the Prague Convention Centre at 11 months when I was there for work and we just never got around to buying one of those stair gate things.

It will be fine. Just reach her how to come down on her front backwards

DH left ours open. First I knew was 11mo footsteps running around upstairs. Our stair ascend 7 steps, turn, ascend 7 more. We are in Spain and everything is tiled super slippery under babygrows and super ouchy to fall down.

But he was fine. And he knew to go down backwards as we'd taught him that about the sofa (see reference to unforgiving floorage). He walked at 9mo and used to eye the stairs with wonder while rattling the gate

DH didn't do it again!

When ds (pfb) was about 13 weeks old I put him asleep in his cot with his dribble bib on. When I realised (you know, when he woke up totally unscathed)I panicked and rang my sister who had three older children.

Me- " I nearly choked ds! I will never forgive myself"
Dsis-" ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. You will do much worse than that"

I have.

To do stairs I taught them to go down on their bums by showing them and going 'budum!' on each step. Wear old jeans.Dp wore good ones with his keys in his pocket and they're wearing through!

Realistically was she going to fall? By toddlerhood they usually manage stairs no problem so while it's not ideal unsupervised it may have been totally fine

How old is she ? I taught my dots to come down backwards, feet first on their tummy. It sounds odd but our stairs are very steep and a bit ladder like anyway and it works for us.
I just went down with them and showed them what to do, I probably made up a silly song. I did that a lot back then.

Thanks for all you messages I feel loads better.

I defo think she could have fallen tho. She doesn't hold on to the sides yet and only balances holding onto me as we count the steps down. She doesn't no to support herself.

I am going to make that a priority now by letting her do it herself and being there to catch her if needed on trips up and down.

We always said "babies go backwards" for stairs, getting off sofas etc. Dd1 was mobile from 6 months (crawling) and learnt the stairs that month too. She would slide down backwards feet first on her tummy.
Never had stairgates and only one of my four ever fell downstairs (dd2 went to sit up halfway up and toppled over).

She is one and a half but only started walking a few months back.

Most of mine have tumbled down at some point. They've lived to tell the tale. Agree about getting them used to climbing stairs ASAP.

Belly sliders here too. They learned in a day with their cousins having races
showing them. Bum bumping was.always risky in our house as ds has a ginormous head and I was honestly concerned at the weight if it tipping him forward

Hope you're feeling ok, op. I still have cold sweats about the day I didn't put on the buggy break at a pedestrian crossing. The buggy moved about 2 feet towards the junction, but these things can torture us forever more

Gone are the days where your biggest fear was them rolling off the bed

You always get lots of people saying they don't use stairgates (fine, their choice obviously) but depends on your stairs, and your child

My youngest would throw himself off anything, so we had a very well attached stair gate at the top of the stairs.

He's been capable on the stairs for over a year now, and I only put the gate across at night (he wanders) but fell down the whole flight recently. Somehow I caught him before he hit the ground at the bottom, I have no idea how, but it was lucky.

Just saying.

I wouldn't be able to not have stairgates.

I spend a lot of time preoccupied upstairs and like her to have the run of her room and the option to come join me in mine and I definitely have a kid that would attempt them before her time

But everyone uses there home set up differently so I also see the benefit of not having one and spend the time you are upstairs teaching your babie to tackle them properly.

Maybe that is why it is so unsafe for mine as an individual. She has only just been introduced to walking down them. If i had thought it safe to support her when crawling the danger would be minimised

Still we did our first independent steps down the stairs this morning holding onto the banister and she is way more capable then I had thought (proud mummy moment)

Thank you all. I have learnt a lot and only feel a tiny bit bad now xxxxxxxxx

Why is your partner blameless in this?

He shouldn't have let her wander off away from him if she's only 1.5 yo

Easier said than done but don't beat yourself up about this near miss. DD2 is now 20yo but fell all the way down the stairs in a similar incident.

No harm done and she's had lots of other bumps and scrapes over the years.

You'll never stop worrying, all we can do as parents is teach them the skills to grow and develop into independent adults (which happens in about 5 minutes ).

that is true.. I would have asked if the gate was shut if he had just come upstairs and I was on the bed with her..

But to be fair I am so OTT all the time it really isn't like me to forget.

Maybe I am being hard on myself excepting all the blame. You shouldn't just assume it's shut.

and should not allow a child of that age to just wander off, upstairs or downstairs....

Of course you don't have to supervise an 18 month old at all times in your own house - you are allowed to leave the room sometimes. I've heard some parents even use the toilet alone.