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Parenting

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Original poster

Help! 9 month old - how do you say 'no'?

18 replies

thebecster · 27/03/2007 11:35

My DS is 9 months old, pre-verbal, just a little baby really. But I need to start saying 'no' in such a way that he'll listen - particularly when it comes to things that are dangerous. He's walking now and grabbing for everything (hot, sharp, or electrical things are preferred!). He's also decided that he doesn't like having his nappy changed and wriggles or crawls off.
When I say 'NO', he laughs. When I say 'No' in a serious voice, and get down to his level like Supernanny, he laughs uproariously. Then he goes back to what he was doing and as far as he's concerned it's turned into a bit of a game. When I pick him up & take him away from what he was doing it rewards him and so he goes straight back to the fragile/dangerous thing he was after because he wants to get picked up again. What do I do???

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

PrettyCandles · 27/03/2007 11:38

First of all, babyproof as much as possible so that you have to say 'no' as little as possible.

Secondly, if you have to remove him (as opposed to the item), take him without cuddling him (be firm, gentle etc, but not cuddly) or speaking other than 'no' etc, and place him in a safe place - then turn your back on him for a few seconds to get the message across that this is not a reward.

MadamePlatypus · 27/03/2007 11:39

Repetition. Say no, remove from area. Alot of communication/discipline takes a while to sink in. However, if you set the groundwork now, you will have a 1 year old who will atleast understand what you are getting at, and should do what you want most (ok some!) of the time. The nappy changing thing is developmental - it will (ok, should!) get better in a couple of months - they realise that they are better off they just let you get on with it.

ENTP · 27/03/2007 11:43

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sunnysideup · 27/03/2007 11:53

Just don't expect No to work! Yes, you need to move him but at the same time, DISTRACT LIKE MAD! Get him going on something else straight away, or dance around with him, or goof around with a funny voice, or see an aeroplane....babies this age forget quite quickly what they were just doing if they get distracted onto something else.

Ceebee74 · 27/03/2007 11:57

OMg - you could be describing my DS (8.5 months) - I was going to post the exact same thread!

My problem is nappy changing - I do it on a changing unit so he can't crawl off but all he wants to do is roll over onto his front - he will NOT lie on his back. When I grab his legs to try and put the nappy on, he twists his body round and when I say no, he laughs - the more I say no, the more he laughs. Have tried all the distraction techniques but he seems to prefer the game of annoying mummy!

As soon as I have put the nappy on, I let him roll over and have become very proficient in dressing him whilst he is on his front but I cannot see how I can put a nappy on whilst he is on his front??

God I really do hope it is a phase as one of the other posters said as nappy changes are just becoming a battle every time!

Sorry Becster - I know this doesn't help you but you are not alone

BigCremeEggs · 27/03/2007 11:58

and say NO! in a very firm strong voice..if you squeak "no!" they are gonna ignore ya!

Enid · 27/03/2007 11:59

I never bother with no

they dont understand

I give dd3 something to hold while I cahnage her nappy (or something to eat)

everything else goes out of her reach/babyproofed

nappy change on the floor - they cant fall off that!

Enid · 27/03/2007 12:00

I say 'hot' if she goes to touch the radiator

then I let her touch it

she now knows what 'hot' means

oliveoil · 27/03/2007 12:02

tv works for nappy changing

plonk mat on floor, put something very annoying on, Bobinogs or something

quick change whilst distracted

Ceebee74 · 27/03/2007 12:03

Ds is worse if I nappychange on the floor as he wriggles off - at least on the changing unit, he stays in one place, just the wrong way round. (Not bothered about him falling off as I always watch him and he seems to have an innate sense not to do it - he just peers over the edge)

FGS, he rolled over on to his front on one of those pull-down changing units in public toilets with straps that hold the baby in place - I have no chance!!

oliveoil · 27/03/2007 12:04

or adverts, they are usually louder and more annoying

I wouldn't bother with a changing table tbh once they can move about

hockeypuck · 27/03/2007 12:06

thebecster!!!!!!!!!

where have you been? we NEVER see you on the may post natal thread - come and join in!

Theo is a month older than your lo, but not as active yet. He does understand no already - its in the facial expression and the tone of voice. He really jumps and pulls his hand away when he touches something he shouldn't and I say no, and then he shuffles off to play with something else. He also looks at me and says "no" with a haughty look on his face as he's doing it, the little monkey.

Basically at this age it's all repetition, he'll get the idea if you get cross enough.

Also like Enid says - distraction as much as possible to avoid a confrontation (changing mat especially) and I'm afraid with hot things like radiators etc they'll do it once and that'll be enough to teach them not to do it again, but by using the word "hot" once they get the idea they'll realise it relates to the oven/bbq etc because of the radiator and wont test you on that one (hopefully)

DO come and say hello on the post natal thread - we want all your news. He's an active little lad isn't he?

Jacobsdad · 27/03/2007 12:15

18 months plus before NO means anything to them.

Original poster

thebecster · 27/03/2007 12:26

Hello hockeypuck! Oh I feel so bad I haven't been around . I'll pop on & update you as soon as I can. I'm so busy at work these days it seems like every moment of my time there's 20 things I should be doing so I'm always busy & guilty, guilty & busy... But I pinky promise I'll come & say hello soon!

And thank you everyone! Glad to know I'm not alone and thanks for the useful tips. Ceebee - you could be describing my LO with your nappy change stories. DS is so damn strong and very wriggly. And he likes nothing better than putting his hands straight into the nasty contents and rubbing it into his hair, his ears, all over me - he thinks my reaction is hilarious. Then, while I'm reeling with shock and covered in poo, he's off into the other room, laughing away. I do only change him on the floor, he loves climbing up things and hurling himself off head first anyway, and my nerves can only take so much of that game, so a changing unit has never been an option...

OP posts:

PrettyCandles · 27/03/2007 14:41

Don't bother fighting the roll-overs once you've cleaned the up, just put the nappy on back-to-front.

lady007pink · 27/03/2007 19:21

I found changing baby that age on my lap much easier then struggling with them on the floor or changing mat!

suziewoo13 · 28/03/2007 21:42

I've taken my 11mth old to a sing and sign class. I don't think she has picked up much at her young stage but I'll keep persevering. use the sign for no in addition to saying it. It's hard to describe a sign but it's just a sweeping movement across your lap. Just lots of repetition. As for the nappy I just try to wipe her clean before she decides to crawl away fster than I can catch her!

Debz72 · 28/03/2007 21:51

He's loving your reaction! Ypu probably don't use that tone very often. He's too young to understand, at this age it's better to either 'ignore and remove' by distraction and no eye contact or say 'no' if you want to but distract straight away with something else. he thinks this is a game. Super nanny is on older kids.

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