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Parenting

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Original poster

Ideal age gap

5 replies

Changerofname987654321 · 27/07/2017 14:21

I know there is no such thing as an ideal age gap but DH and I have been talking about having another child.

Originally he did not want another one (first one was a massive shock to him) and now I am not sure if I want another one. How do you juggle two children?

My original plan to to wait until DD was 3 and then start trying but that will make me 36 and I am worried about being an older mother and the risk of disability or not being able to conceive.

What would you do?

OP posts:

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Beansprout30 · 27/07/2017 21:57

Following as is in more or less the same position

uhoh2016 · 27/07/2017 22:45

I have 2.5 yrs between 1 and 2, it was hard at 1st technically having 2 babies but they're close and share same interests etc. There's a further 5yrs on until dc3 arrived so 5yr berween 2&3 7yr 1&3.
The baby/toddler stage defo easier with dc3 but he's not got as close relationship as dc1&2 Have

savagehk · 27/07/2017 22:55

My view is have them really close (before you know better) or have them so that the first starts school about the time the second arrives.
Being pregnant with a demanding toddler is something I'm happy I've avoided.

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n0ne · 27/07/2017 23:11

DD1 is 4 and I'm 34w pg with DC2. I knew I didn't want two at home at the same time - DD was a relatively easy child but I still found the baby/toddler years so so hard, no way I could have coped with 2 at the same time. DD is actually pretty helpful and independent which is what I was hoping (!) so I think this age gap will be ideal for us. FWIW, I'm 38 and have had no issues so I wouldn't panic about your age, OP.

MoHunter · 27/07/2017 23:29

You've said it yourself, there's no such thing - and while you could get pregnant straight away you may end up trying for 1-2 years. So I'd take that into consideration when planning for no. 2.

Mine are 2 yrs 2 months apart (by choice) and it is bloody hard! But, I keep telling myself it will be easier once DS2 is a bit older and they can play together - I always wanted them to be close as they grow up together.
Right now there are times every day that I regret having two under-3's to look after. Time will tell if it will pay off later on!

Also it was easy-ish to get back into looking after a baby with a small-ish age gap, DS1 was still in nappies when DS2 was born and I only stopped BF'ing him about 3 months before the birth etc.
Lastly I thought the sooner I have them both the sooner the pre-school years are over and career wise it will be less time overall spent working part-time/staying at home.

P.S. Nieces are 4 1/2 years apart and while definitely easier for mum I do not feel they are very close as their interests are so different at their different stages. But this may remedy itself when they get older!

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