DS8 badly behaved when out but good at home

[Zippydoodah]

Just the title really. It's getting me down now because honestly it's like having an overgrown 2 year old. He'll be silly, make stupid noises, tantrum, whine, say and do inappropriate things and then is fine when at home.

He has always preferred being at home to being out. I am fully aware i shouldn't reward this behaviour by taking him back.

I've tried talking to him about it, explaining how sometimes we have to go out and that we don't all want to stay at home.

Today i lost it with him though. To me it's like having a baby and i hate feeling trapped . Dd13 loves going out and goes stir crazy indoors which makes it all the more difficult

What consequences do you use at home? Does he know you won't do the same when you're out? Are you embarrassed to reprimand him in public?

Time out, no ipad/computer.

Yes, I think so.

Sometimes I am embarrassed but mostly i am so angry i don't care and am sick of being a fishwife

Does ever say why?

Is he anxious?
How is he at school?

what sort of 'out' is it?

If he is being a pain in the supermarket, that might need a different approach from being a pain when you have all been invited round to a friend's house or a special fun event.

I remember my DS used to be unbearable if we were going somewhere special and fun - we worked out that he was afraid something might go wrong and it might not be fun enough so he got himself all worked up.

OTOH if it is just somewhere that you need to go, eg food shopping, I would personally resort to bribes until he grows out of it. Let him sit on the seats by the checkout with a screen to play on, or something.

The teacher said he lacks confidence. He is v naughty in one of the lessons but fine with class teacher, if a bit chatty. He is brighter than he makes out according to her.

By out, yes, I do include shops which is kind of understandable but can also be things like meals or even movies for his age and fun stuff too at times if he's not in the mood. At 8, I could take dd anywhere. She knhow to be in public (but not at home always )

Sorry, gandalf. He says it's so that he can go home so deliberate