2 under 2, please reassure me

[user1488794856]

So I have just found out dh and I are expecting baby #2. We currently have a 6 month old.

The pregnancy was planned and this baby is most definitely wanted....but I'm terrified!

I have woken this morning with a knot in my stomach about how I'm going to cope with pregnancy and a new born and a 1 year old as there will be just under 14 months between then.

Someone please reassure me, I definitely need some word of support this morning!

Thank you

We are into week two with two under two (18 month difference) and I have to say it has been a massive shock to the system! My main worries have been preventing DD1 from unintentionally harming baby (her version of gentle isn't so gentle!), and I find it challenging when they are both crying and DD1 wants to be picked up. Also DD1 still wakes up sometimes in the night so dealing with two disturbing your sleep and then having the energy to entertain a toddler all day is tough.

However, each day it is feeling slightly more 'normal' and we are getting into a better routine already. People keep telling me you just need new strategies to get by! Am just hoping we reap the benefits of a close age gap when they are able to start playing together!

I have a 22 month age gap between my boys.
It's hard until you get into a routine but then it gets easier. No different to having twins really except their needs are slightly different. You can't do a lot to prepare the older one for the arrival of their sibling as they're too young to understand.
Make sure you get out every day even just a walk to get some fresh air and a change of scenery for you all.
Mine are now 11 and 12 and the close age gap means they're into the same type of things, have the same group of friends and even share clothes!
Good luck am sure you'll take it in your stride

I have 12 months between my first 2, and then 23 months between DC2 and 3.

Firstly, congratulations!
I felt terrified too but Honestly, it is not as hard as you'd imagine. Routine helps a lot and you will always have your hands full but the benefits out weigh the struggles.

Mine always have a friend to play with so it's actually easier to get things done sometimes - they are now 4, 3 and 18 months.

It takes a couple of weeks to get in the swing of things but you'll suddenly grow an extra arm.. honestly (or at least feel like you have)

Plus having 2 close in age is 100x easier than being pregnant with a toddler in tow

It'll be ok. You won't have to deal with jealousy as your eldest will be nowhere near the 'mine!' stage and although you will be very busy for the first year after that I am finding (18 month gap) they already go off and play with each other a lot so in some ways it's easier than having one.

Things that helped me: double buggy, sling handy at all times, letting dc1 watch tv when dc2 was feeding letting dc1 'help' with baby care

The hardest bit for me was bath / bed times - I didn't have help because my DP works away and DC2 was very unsettled in the evenings, but we muddled through.

It's hard work but it's lots of fun, especially when they start running around together and making each other laugh. I'm really looking forward to the next few years and I'm so glad we did it

3 week old and a 14 month old here. I am coping surprisingly well (proud me!), but early days.

Toddler loves new baby, but needs supervising or will crush/poke him. No jealousy at all. It's hard when they are both crying and I don't know who to cuddle first. Also not managed bed time on my own yet, thankfully hubby home by bedtime routine. Also not gone out anywhere in car yet on my own. Ive walked to park with double buggy which was fine though.
Try and get your toddler sleeping through night, or you will be knackered.

You'll be great, don't panic!

I am following this for more tips...

I posted this a while ago! I'm 5.5 months in, 19 month age gap. Thankfully my rubbish sleeper was sleeping through by the time baby was born.

Now, I have found it quite hard, but have been going through marriage breakdown at the same time so doing much of it aline, at a very emotional time. Dc1 had a few weeks of being quite difficult, and I (and family) made a real effort to include him again as I realised the focus had really shifted to the baby. He's been much better again since then. I've had very little simultaneous crying! So far..... Mostly it's been if the toddler falls over or gets upset he sets the baby off.

Baby however is very chilled.

It's easier all the time at the moment, hopefully it will continue to get easier.....

Oh yes and I have definitely found it easier with a toddler and baby than toddler and pregnant.

I also introduced a bottle and a dummy very early on with baby, as Dc1 refused both. This helps a lot as anyone can give him a bottle, meaning I'm not tied to bf him all the time,. And he easily puts himself to sleep once the dummy goes in (although this only really happened recently, I've given him the dummy periodically so he's used to it)

We are on week 3 of 2 under 2 with 15 month age gap. It is surprisingly calm and we have been out for day trips which keep toddler entertained and baby just sleeps with all the fresh air.
No jealousy with such a young toddler either but like a PP the toddler isn't so gentle when trying to cuddle the baby!
It's probably too early for me to say it's going well but I can honestly say watching how good my toddler is with the baby makes me so proud and love her even more.
I'm sure you will be absolutely fine (and hopefully so will we)

I had two under two (17 month age gap). It was a nightmare to begin with but I think I made it more difficult for myself because I had depression and we moved house when dd was 6 weeks old.

Dd was a difficult baby in that she cried a lot, had reflux and always seemed to catch every cold and chest infection going.

This difficult stage seemed to last forever but really, by the time dd was 6 months old, fully weaned and both dc fell into a routine of shared naps and bedtimes, it was so much easier and continued to do so as she reached every milestone and inched her way to greater independence - I wasn't having to do a billion things at once and trying to pull myself in two or three trying to sort out myself, both dc and the house.

They are now 6 and nearly 5 and are really close. They do argue and bicker of course but play together lovely, entertain each other and look after each other. It's lovely to watch and listen to them interact (the other day, they were building a castle with the Lego and ds said to his sister, "Teamwork..."
Dd replied, "Makes the dream work!" I think they got it from some TV programme they'd been watching).

I haven't really got any tips other than to lower your standards re. housework, don't stress about your older child watching more TV than before, expect and be prepared for your 2nd child to cry more than your first simply because you haven't got the time to run to them as soon as they need you to, if they both need help go to your toddler first because they're usually easier to sort out, don't feel bad about using ready meals and quick teas because any food is better than none, try to include your toddler as much as possible in the care for the baby so they don't feel left out and just try as much as you can to relax!

Good luck and congratulations on your pregnancy!

Congratulations! I have a 2y7m and 1y3m (16 month gap). I found it really hard to begin with and honestly the first 9 months were stressful and exhausting. Dd2 was the world's worst sleeper amd needed to be permanently attached to me. Since then things have got easier each day. I'm done at 2 kids and am really glad I am getting the baby stuff out of the way in one go - if you have one in nappies, may as well have 2 in nappies! And when they play together it is literally the loveliest thing in the world, they are both so different and seem to bring the best out in each other. I think honestly it's probably harder in some ways and easier in others than a big age gap, I'm sure there is no 'perfect' formula. be prepared for exhaustion, ask for and accept as much help as possible and you'll be fine