Am I failing them by trying to find a focus

[flowerydems]

I've just turned 30. To escape a toxic job I thought I'd set up my own business cleaning. Turns out I'm not cut out for the judgment of my work after 1 bad review, everyone else has been delighted but this woman expected miracles in her I'll be honest disgusting house.

Anyway, I just want to be with my kids, I work in a bar at weekends and have taken on evening work to get some extra income so between that and my cleaning jobs I'm working 7 days a week and I feel awful, I miss my kids, I feel like I never manage to do anything right and I just don't know what to do.

I feel like I can't do right for doing wrong, to be honest the extra hours from the bar work is fine for what we need but I've never not worked, I went from 12 hours to 35 in the toxic job before I had dc3 so just can't seem to not end up doing too much.

Pretty sure I've posted in the wrong topic but any advice or wisdom would be appreciated

Sorry you are struggling and exhausted. I also miss seeing my children and have no solution yet.

Can you ask your other happy clients to leave plenty of good reviews?

I'm not sure either which is the right topic, but balancing work and parenthood seems to fit into parenting :)

start applying for other jobs

Return I have done but I just don't think it's for me anymore.

User it's not as simple as that, I have to fit work round my husband

I just think that I should just be content to be working behind the bar and being a stay at home mum but I struggle with it so much cause I feel like I have no identities other than their mother of dhs wife

You're certainly not just mother and wife, you have a job too! Did you have hobbies before you had kids? Do you still do some of them?

2nd yeah he's the father I mean that I can only work when he's home as we can't afford too much childcare.

Return I like embroidery and I've started doing that a bit again but I'm just so exhausted, feel like the summer holidays have floored me and I've been working every day for 3 weeks

Oh and my dc are 5,4 and 7 months so 2 will be at school after the summer, dd will do a couple of mornings in nursery and I can maybe use that time to get back on track meal planning etc

DC are hard work at those ages whether you're working or not. We all know that feeling of losing your identity but it does get better I promise.
It's school holidays so there are probably free activities you could go to to escape the house. Even story time in the library.
See how you feel once your oldest DC is in school. Your day will take on a structure of school drop off and pick up. Give yourself till September to make a decision and until then try to enjoy your life and your DC. If you feel you have to get a job outside the home start looking then.