How much supervision?

[Lj8893]

How much do you supervise a 3.5 year old? I'm wondering if me and dh are overkill with dd.

we generally oversee dd all day, wouldn't let her wander off anywhere without being in our sight (obviously at home we can be in a different room at times).

Today we spent time in a big family get together and another 3.5 year old in the family who was playing with dd all day was left to her own devices all day. Her parents were in another room all day, didn't ever check on her. Obviously we supervised her and so took her to the toilet, got her drinks/food etc. A few times we took her to her parents when she needed something but she was sent back within 5 minutes.

At the time I was thinking they were being quite unreasonable with this parenting but now I'm doubting myself and wondering if that is quite normal?

Family or friends gathering at our house we never check on ours. He'll find us if he need to.
At other houses but still friends/family we would let him go off with other kids but he is generally happy to ask any adult he knows where we are.
I don't follow him in softplay. At parks I always make sure I can see him but I'm not necessarily near him.

Is the other child a younger sibling by any chance? It's very normal in my experience to supervise your eldest closely and leave the younger ones more to their own devices!

Neither you nor the other parents are 'right' or 'wrong' IMO - it's just a different approach. I was probably more similar to you as a parent when my DCs were that age.

3.5, all the time, unless in own room, or own home

Where were you? In a pub or other public place then no way is that OK. If in someone's house that the family no well I think its OK, though a little lazy as clearly they are expecting others to look after their DD all day.

• know. Sorry ...

We weren't in a house but in a public place.

The other child was an older sibling.

I think the parents were taking the piss a bit and banking on you being there.

nap that was my initial thought but since being home one of the parents has messaged me saying they didn't realise we had been entertaining the dc, they assumed thier dd and our dd were just entertaining each other as they were in another room.

This was what made me think that maybe we are "abnormal" supervising a 3.5 year old as much as we do!

What NapQueen said. They knew you would keep an eye on them.

I'm quite relaxed with mine now but at that age I would always have them within eyesight unless I knew someone else was watching them (and I had specifically asked them to!)

At home DS can wander off, at my parents' house too, though they have more breakables so will keep a closer eye. I will happily leave him in enclosed (back) gardens alone. At the playground or park I make sure I can see him, but don't usually follow him around. I wouldn't let him go off with a group of older children just yet, but would be fine with him playing within earshot in enclosed space with other children of same age, but not younger.

solasum that's pretty much how we are with dd.

Just back from visiting outlaws overseas, and they wouldn't leave him alone in any room at all, to the point of running after him in a panic when he was no more than 5 metres max away. He got very annoyed, and said several times that he was 'going to spend time on my own now'.

Bless him sola

It depends very much on the 3 year old. Some(like mine did) will still beputting things in their mouths and be up to all sorts, others not so much.

But in this case it sounds like the parents were taking the piss, letting you do everything for their dd while they had peace and quiet in another room.