5 year old horror fan talks suicide

[GiGi67]

Hi. I met a really lovely Mum at my sons nursery and we have become good friends in the last year. We have totally different styles of parenting but we are in no way judgemental towards each other about because we both know that everybody does it differently.

Anyway her son has just turned 5 and is going to school this year and mine is still at nursery (4). They have regular playdates and like to video call each other. My problem is that her son is a big fan of horror films, he has been allowed to watch Freddy, Halloween etc since 4 and often describes in detail to my son about stomachs being cut open, guts falling out, getting murdered, horror villians coming to get them etc. He has also started talking about killing himself, not in any great detail, just that he is going to do it. I am constantly listening in when they are together and I ask them to talk about something else but its as if she just doesn't hear him say stuff like that. I don't know if she is aware of the suicide speak as its only really on a video call that he talks about it and she isn't often in the room.

I don't think my son or even his friend really knows what he is talking about but I don't want him listening to that sort of talk or getting upset by it as it really isnt age appropriate. I'm also totally freaked out about him talking about suicide.

How do I go about talking to the Mum about it? I don't want to appear confrontational/judgemental but I can't have my son listening to any more of that kind of talk.

Thanks in advance for any advice x

@fruitcocktail6 my 5 year old has watched the later Harry Potter films. I had stopped at film 3, as the rest I felt were too dark for him. His father however, as he always has to compete let him watch the rest so he's the best dad
Anyway, due to him already having watched the rest we watched them together so I could talk to him about the films, daddy left him to watch large swathes of the film by himself. In any case he walked away from the films at the points that I didn't really want him to watch and found himself something else to do.
Daddy also took him to see Star Wars the Force Awakens. He'd have been 4 at the point and he had nightmares couldn't go into the next room by himself etc.. daddy claims he loved the film and wasn't scared by any of it. He's delusional as this is a child who at the cinema can't watch Sing! as he can't stand any threat scenes of any kind. I'm at a loss as to how I can protect DS from the crap parenting as these are not reasons to stop contact.

OP talk to your friend about her DS talking about suicide.

Shit parenting. I wouldn't want to see them tbh.

There is no nice way for me to say this but she is a little bit thick so I am not sure she realises the impact it is having on him. I am going to try and explain it to her tomorrow and I will definately speak to the nursery.

I will stop contact after tomorrow if she just shrugs it off.

I don't understand why she doesn't have a primordial need to protect her child from anything bad in the world.

I think you're right to have a word and then distance yourself.

Well the lack of intelligence is not her fault but it adds more concern as to whether she is capable of making good parenting decisions not just with films but also food, bedtimes etc. She may well benefit from soc services involvement as they can provide parenting advice and support and will be able to monitor the situation so i would think a referal a good thing !

That's beyond awful. That would be seriously damaging to a child. I

Yes these films have a huge impact on children's young minds - their world should be full of kindness and be protected from any horror - these film shows are exaggerated horror rather than real life horror

She's deluded!

I doubt your chat will go well!

I would end the friendship. There are plenty of other five year olds out there that don;t watch and discuss this shit.

and I wouldn't bother having a chat either.

just end it.

I'd feel a shit parent for knowingly putting my dc in a position where he had to hear descriptions of horror films tbh

This is so disturbing. Please talk to her about it, and if she won't take anything on board, you will need to take action on reporting this to protect her son. I can't watch films like that as an adult!

I would share it with the nursery - as in, my son has contact with one of your other kids out of nursery, and I am not happy with some of the things this child talks to my child about, I will reduce contact out of nursery, but I need you to ensure that these kind of conversations are not affecting my son. That way you are reporting the concerns, allowing them to follow their safeguarding policies, but you are also doing it with your sons needs at the centre. They need to inform the school he is starting at, if not social care.

This is absolutely a safeguarding issue. It needs reporting.