Hi, so it was 7.30pm. My 2yo DD had just gone to bed and my OH was in bed with out 6yo DS - who has Autism and needs someone to lie with him until he goes to sleep which can be an hour or more.
So 7.30pm I was pottering around sorting laundry, tidying etc. And my partner Facebook messages me from upstairs to say that his mum & sister were outside and wanted to come in. I'm not sure if they knocked first but his sister had texted my OH.
Well, I hate people turning up announuced at the best of times (social anxiety) and having an Asd child who likes routine and to know on advance what is happening.
It was 7.30pm. If they came in - my son would of got hyped up and took even longer to settle again and would have to start the whole process of settling him again. My daughter would of got woke up for sure - then she would of been up ALL night (yesterday she had 5 minutes in the car at 6 and was up until 10!)
So, my DS goes sleep and my OH decides to give his Mum a ring to explain his reasons for saying no. She gets in a rage saying that we don't let her see our DD (DS is from a previous relationship so not her biological grandson) and starts an argument. OH puts the phone down on her raging himself. How could she say that? She was asleep!
We have NEVER stopped her from seeing our daughter. I admit she doesn't see her that often. This is because we never know when she's in as she works and goes on holiday a lot (we turned up at their house for a visit and they failed to tell us they had gone to America!) MIL doesn't have a mobile phone so impossible to get hold of. We've turned up at their house loads and they are rarely in. We've never stopped her coming here but we politely ask if she could let us know beforehand to prepare DS (and myself). If she had let us know she was going to 'pop in' tonight we would of kept the kids up..
She's always been welcome to pop over. There was another incident a while ago She rang us and asked if we could pop over with DD as she had relatives visiting and she wanted them to meet her! This would of been fine if we were asked in advance but we were out shopping 25 miles away. She didn't speak to us for six weeks after this. Like I said, if we knew beforehand we could of changed plans or maybe she could of had DD while we shopped.
Apparently we've never let her have our DD. But the thing is she's never offered and I wouldn't ask her to have DD.
I suffer from anxiety as it is. I am drained as it is, I am up anytime between 4&5 everyday. Having a toddler and a child with special needs is hard enough as it is.