Fellow parent objects to my giving ds after school snack

[Zippydoodah]

Ds8 has a long walk home from school so i bring him something to keep him going on the way home. We've always done this as it stops him moaning and groaning on the way home. I did it with dd too at this age until she naturally grew out of the need.

The problem I have is ds does like either a biscuit or crisps or anything high energy - fruit doesn't cut it and I've tried. Personally, I don't stress. It's once a day. He is not overweight and his teeth are fine and ive always been pretty laid back over food anyway.

A friend he has latched onto has a dad who doesn't allow sweets because his ds has fillings. Fair enough. I tried to get ds to hide the snack so his ds isn't tempted but dad said don't worry so i carried on.

Then I started mainly bringing crisps. I saw ds friend taking them and dad got annoyed so it's not just sugar he is against. He started hinting that i should let ds wait til he gets home but I did assert we've always done this for reasons above. Ive tried avoiding them but ds seeks them out and telling ds to hide snack but he won't oblige.

Dad is not a friend - completely different from me but find it awkward, I suppose. Part of me thinks I'm slightly in the wrong and committing a minor pecadillo but can't bring myself to care enough to change as it's only a snack and it's down to him to explain that other parents have different rules ( as i would in reverse). I kind of think it's slightly u for me to create a tantrum situation for him and his rules.

Hell no! His kid, his problem to manage!

You don't have to hide the snack, just tell your child not to share with his friend.

Up to him to get his ds to say no thank you or deal with people eating around him. Not up to everyone else to hide the existence of food around him.

Your child, you can feed him whatever you want
It has nothing to do with this other parent
Keep on doing what works for you

Do what you like! YANBU

It's your DS's snack. Maybe the dad should teach his child not to eat other people's food. Or he should provide a snack for his DS that he approves of. Ridiculous. You're doing nothing wrong OP.

Although, reading your op again it sounds as though your DS actively seeks out his friend after school whilst he's eating his snack? I'd put a stop to that, still think the dad is being ridiculous but if your DS knows that his friend isn't allowed any of the snack it's a bit mean to seek him out and eat it in front of him.

I wouldn't even expect your child to hide his snack. I never let what other children are not allowed to do change what I allow mine to do.

Every day walking home from school we walk with 2 kids who their parents take their scooters from them to cross the road I let my ds go across on his scooter because I can trust him to do so and I have a pram so it wouldn't be any safer for him if i had to hold the pram and scooter execpt I would have no free hands. A couple of times the other kids have asked why they can't do it got side looks from the parents usually with a 'because it's dangerous' but I never let it bother me. It's not my problem if their kids don't like their rules.

It's not your problem.

You have a long walk home and if your DS is hungry, then a bag of crisps won't do him any harm. Please don't start making him feel guilty about this - especially when it's someone else's issue!

Do you walk home with them or is this problem occurring in the playground after school?

Can't you just not get the crisps out until you are walking?

A bit of both. Usually, in the playground but it is easier to lose ourselves there as it's a big sc2

Bollocks to that. Let him be out and proud with his snack. My friend gives her (skinny) kids chocolate after school each day. I try to give my chubsters breadsticks etc. I’ve never once felt the need to tell her to buzz off with her fingers of fudge

Well aside from maybe stopping your child from rubbing it in someone elses face then I can't see what the issue is.
Your child can eat whatever you choose.
Gloating over another child who isn't allowed any is not attractive behaviour however so it depends on how your son deals with it.

He doesn't gloat , is not a good sharer anyway - he's just not discreet . The other boy just takes things which i don't blame him for really as it's ds own fault. Ive tried explaining this to ds , too. It may sink in this side of Xmas. I don't know who is irritating me more - ds or the dad

Could you wait until you were out of the playground to give your son his snack - or do you end up going the same way as this other child and his dad?

We do walk the same way which is the problem. Playground is better if comng out at different times or halfway home when friend has gone but ds gets really ansty so that won't work.

I could offer have snack now but walk home without friend or walk with friend and eat halfway home

None of other parent's business

Your child, your rules - unless you're feeding him crack cocaine, in which case I would be a lot more discreet!

If your child needs a snack he needs a snack, no one else's business.

I home educated mine for a few years, I got some stick for that, other parents got annoyed as they had told their kids they had to go to school as it was the law so I was confusing them! Maybe if their parents hadn't lied they wouldn't have been confused.

The Dad is totally out of order trying to make you feel bad!

You hit the nail on the head , he needs to explain as any sensible person would, that other families have other rules.

God help him when the Xbox and GTA stuff starts in a few years if this is how he reacts over crisps!! He needs to have a word with himself

Is the child a PFB?

No but his children are youngwr than mine. My teenager has classmates who vape and drink wkd so I have bigger fish to fry

You're thinking of this as your problem

Dad could avoid you - he could leave later - he could walk slower or a different route - he could teach his kid not to take other people food! He could pull his kid up every time he did so with consequences

His choice - carry on - as you were

You're not only not doing anything wrong, I think you're doing the right thing. It's amazing how much a little pick me up treat at the end of the day before a hike home can help younger children get a move on without complaining.

The other dad needs to get a grip. He can solve the problem by not walking with you, by bringing his own child a snack he deems healthy, or by telling his child he's not allowed to eat any of your child's food. Strops aren't your problem; they are his. Other dad doesn't get to suggest other parents are causing the problem; you are addressing your own problems and quite sensibly.

Put away the guilt!