Cherishing Your Newborn - Help!

[ally1986]

This might sound ridiculous and may just be my post-pregnancy hormones talking but I've got a three week old baby and I'm terrified that she's growing up too fast and that I'm not cherishing every moment enough! Did anyone else feel like this with their LOs?! Or am I just being mental?!

Everyone I speak to says how quickly they grow up and how I should be cherishing her but I've no idea how to. I've just bought a record book and journal in the hope that will help, but does anyone have any tips or reassurances for me?! Xx

Things just become different, and lovely in new ways. You won't miss anything.

I don't much like this fetishisation of newborns - they're snuggly and helpless and utterly lovely, but you're recovering from birth, hormonal and tired. I think people get a bit rose-tinted about that newborn phase. I kind of miss the 1-2 age more - more fun, engaging and when you really start to see who your child is.

Enjoy what you're doing now, but don't feel obliged to detail every second, or feel blessed every minute of every day.

Enjoy her but also allow yourself to feel tired and hormonal and tired and bored and tired and overwhelmed. Sniff her lots. Take photos and make sure you're in some. Don't stress about housework and diets and comparisons.

Don't feel guilty about it. Parenting is very much a case of "you can only do what you can do". Other people did it their way, you do it your way.

There will always be people telling you how to bring up you baby so it's better to learn to ignore it early!

I do know exactly how you feel Op. I remember when No1 was about that age weeping because he'd just fallen asleep on me after a feed and I realised that one day he'd be too old to that and he'd stop doing it.

But when they do start growing up and becoming little people in their own right they are amazing.

I do miss the tiny baby days, but the toddler and child days (where we are right now) are pretty good fun too! Just different.

Just enjoy her, gaze into her eyes, sniff her head & marvel at the amazingness (you grew a whole person!)

Take photos & record her tiny hands & feet

It's definitely hormones, I'm reading all of your replies while she's feeding and I'm crying into her hair!!

I think people who have grown up kids tend to say that to people with newborns. I remember being told to 'make the most of these precious moments as they grow up so fast'. At the time all I could think was I wanted the newborn bit over so they'd sleep through the night! It's easy to look back with rose tinted glasses and forget the exhaustion of it all!

Every stage is different and each brings its share of joy, laughter, frustration and tears.

Congratulations on your baby x

Honestly, anyone who tells a new parent to cherish it should have sharp items of cutlery inserted up their backside.

When DC1 was that age, I was virtually hallucinating with sleep deprivation, he wasn't feeding well and never stopped screaming. The only reason I didn't bite the faces off people who said that to me was because I was too tired.

My advice? Aim to survive it, enjoy the odd bits you can, take lots of photos, and don't worry about it.

Oh, and massive congratulations too - sorry

If you can make a sound recording of the first snuffly little sounds, I'm sure you will love that. Our first recording was much older, it's still the same person but funnier.
Just enjoy it for what it is. Have fun with your baby.

Oh I know exactly how you feel I make sure I take loads of photos and videos (even just 10 seconds) of her doing anything. Sleeping, crying, blinking, literally anything

It's like an oldfashioned wedding night: easily ruined by performance anxiety but really only the starting point for something with the potential to get better and better.

Congratulations ally!

I totally understand as my baby is 7 weeks old, my first and probably only child. I have also cried as she's growing up too fast already

I've taken to writing a journal during night feeds. Not every day and Only takes ten mins and I use an app on my phone, can add photos to it aswell. I started during pregnancy and find it nice to look back over.

Mainly I'd say just enjoy your time as much as possible (in between the tears, exhaustion etc), sniff, tickle, snuggle, gaze, kiss..... you get the idea!

We had a panic when DD was about 4month everybody was doing the cats with "first time I sat up!" and things but actually, I don't mind having not done that now (8mo). i note down anything significant in my day to day diary but other than that I don't do anything! The only thing I regret is not taking more family photos, and more photos of her alone.

Just enjoy your newborn cuddles 😊

I might say this and all I would mean is care for her without expectations or guilt: so forget excess housework or any attempt at ideal or perfect anything! Even journals or photos if it's stressing you in any way.

Cards. I thought I'd got all the wrong words, bloody predictive text!

I think your friends saying this have missed a bit out.

It should be 'cherish the good moments' - something you'll probably do automatically tbh. It's not a constant state of being, and it's wholly unrealistic when your faced with a non-sleeping torture creature who saves poonamis for just when you've got them dressed and were hoping to at least change your own knickers, drag a comb through your hair and maybe even clean your teeth uninterrupted for a full two minutes.

My DC are older, so yes I know what people mean when they say it all goes so quickly. But that's only when you apply the retroscope. In reality there are times when it's repetitive, isolating and just a grind. But they do get leavened with first smiles, new skills, peaceful moments etc. They are the bits to enjoy, cherish and remember. Just get through the rest.

It does go quickly but I honestly wouldn't wish for either of my sons to be younger again. Every age/phase gets better in my experience. Congratulations on your baby, it's ok not to enjoy every moment :)

I also agree that it should be more 'find some moments to cherish' than 'cherish every moment'.
(Unless you are incredibly lucky and have an easy birth, good feeder, good sleeper, plenty of help with house stuff etc)
At 3 weeks I was exhausted, still recovering from an emergency c section, struggling with feeding, baby not gaining weight, not sleeping much, husband back at work and no other relatives nearby. It's all a bit of a blur looking back (probably fortunately!).

However I'm glad we have some photos from that time so that we can look back at them.

Do not add 'must cherish every moment' to the endless list of pressures on new parents such as 'must keep house spotless'. However if you have some headspace free and want to take photos, keep a diary etc then by all means do!

Congratulations on your newborn :)
There will be so so many things to enjoy and savour as they get older. I have a 4 month old baby ds and today I wished I could bottle the moment to revisit it on at least 4 occasions! Try and relax and the moments will keep coming.

I think capturing moments with photos/videos is important but also just enjoying precious moments and being wholly present in them is important too. For example, today my little one saw bubbles for the first time and rather than video it, I just watched his little face and enjoyed the moment rather than grabbing my phone and watching it through that. An aside but just thought I'd add it!