The importance of good table manners

[Bombasticb]

How do I convince my 14 year old very opinionated Daughter that good table manners and etiquette are an important life skill to learn! She insists on either just using her fork, or using the knife in her left hand, making a smacking noise with her lips when eating and if asked to lay the table, puts the knife on the left facing inwards not outwards.

Of course you may think me a pedant, if you think so please feel free to tell me why this isn't important.

Not pedantic - it's a very important life skill.

At 14 I would expect her to know all the basics.

I am such a harridan about basic etiquette - my children wouldn't dare use cutlery wrongly or make any unpleasant noises. The downside is they think I am a nightmare and they spot poor table manners at 100 paces, the upside is that they are never intimidated in posh restaurants or functions and never, ever show me up!

I think starting as young as possible is probably key. Has she just recently started doing this, perhaps to rebel a bit?

I use my knife in my left hand. It just feels weird otherwise.
I remember many of days having my knife and fork yanked out of my hands and switched over by dinner ladies.
I think its important to know good table manners and how to behave in certain company. I don't think it's so important to put it into practice every meal time.

The knife and fork placement isn't an issue as a left handed person it confuses me. The eating with mouth closed is a must, elbows off table and knife and fork to eat dinner is a must.

We never use knives, don't eat meat so rarely anything that needs cutting. Wasn't aware it was bad manners, hmmm

Of course knowing good table manners is important.

I wouldn't have a problem with the way you describe her using her cutlery though. Why is wanting her fork in her right hand and her knife on the left considered bad? I don't do it myself, but I can't say that I would even notice if others did.

I assume when op says she only uses a folk she means stabbing a huge chuck of food with a folk and biting bits of it. My teenage dd does it. She wouldn't do it in a restaurant or in company though

Hmmmm
Look around next time you're at a restaurant and you'll be amazed at how few people have 'correct' manners.
My dcs all do and have had it pointed out by their peers and their peers' parents
And it's not as if I've instilled Edwardian manners and then sent them off to Borstal 😂. I now only correct antisocial stuff- so fingers in food and noise (lip smacking and cutlery on teeth) I've also suggested they observe how the rest of the table eat; they'll never be nervous as to how to behave but then again they don't judge or think it matters if others don't eat naicely.

*fork

Good table manners are of course important. Which hand she uses the utensils in is not part of table manners; it is just how she prefers it. Unless it results in her food slopping all over the table, then I do not see the problem. The more you focus on it,l the more she will do it.

There will be lots of things to get into a battle over with a teenage DD that really are important. This is not. Let this wash by. Just chill.

PS I had 3 teenage DDs at one go and know of what I speak!

puts the knife on the left facing inwards not outwards

Just a sec, I thought I had decent table manners, and I'm aware the knife traditionally goes on the right, but doesn't it always face inwards (towards the plate)?

Sharp side towards Plate presenting blunt side outwards (effectively offering protection against the sharp edge).

Oh good, that's how I do it, I was concerned I'd missed a whole section of good-table-setting-etiquette, but I was sure I'd notice if knives were sharp side out.

Of course she is doing it to wind you up - so ignore it. You are the adult here. If you let such a small thing wind you up, she won't be listening when you get het up about drug taking for instance. She will be so used to you getting in a fret about small things that it will just wash by her.

FGS just chill.