My dd(17) is pregnant

[fessmess]

Known for a week now, she's adamant she wants a termination and I think that is best. However, I feel so sad and it's really impacting me. That's the beginning of a grandchild. Just need a handhold really. ALso, anyone else supported a dd through this? What can I expect? She'll be about 6 weeks when she goes to her appointment this week.

If it's what she wants then please, as early as possible. Her body her choice. Not yours. I'm sorry.

The future is a long and different road which has yet to happen.

Of course it's her choice and I am NOT saying I want her to have it. I am being strong and supporting her, it's just shit all round really.

She's not ready to be a mum and you're probably not ready to be a grandma. Wouldn't you rather that you were older, retired?, and that she was settled in her own life? I feel like maybe that's what you're mourning and that's just an idea. It may yet happen! But if she doesn't have an abortion now, I doubt it's what you'd get

And I know you're sad for her as well. Try not to let her see your doubts. It's bad enough for her without thinking she's harming you by doing this. Like you said, you think it's best. You can feel sad, but maybe find someone else you can confide in and not her, unless she seems to want you to be sad. Posting here is great if you can't think of anyone (or anyone who'd keep a secret at least)

Can she have the abortion pill - it probably has a more official name than that though?

And just listen and be there for her whatever she decides. Please don't voice the 'beginning of a grandchild' thing to her as it will make a difficult decision even worse for her.

Many, many women have abortions and it just becomes a distant memory. It doesn't have to be as traumatic as we are all led to believe. for you and your dd. Parenting never gets easier does it?

Can you get some counselling arranged for both you and her? Especially your DD. She is bound to have mixed feelings about this even though she's confident in her decision. I think that would help you both come to terms with this.

It's very emotional for both of you but you know that your duty is to support her. I think it's perfectly ok to feel sad and wistful as long as is to yourself and not to her. She needs good care and support and she has 30 odd years to have a child if that's what she wants. I had my first at 41 - who knows what is in her future.

Sorry to hear this. Your dd might not need counselling though, I didn't when I had a termination and neither did any of my friends when they did.

Try to be kind but practical as opposed to emotional.

Just support her (as you're doing). You have lots of time for grandkids.

I didn't need counselling, either, Morris. Absolutely I needed my mother's practical support.

By the way my DH's teenage girlfriend had an abortion and both of their parents were great about it - supportive and non judgemental - and he remembers now how much that made a difficult decision a bit easier to bear.

My friend felt like you when her sons gf had a termination she was really sad about it obviously didn't show it but had grandbaby thoughts for a long while, Why do you think you are feeling like this ? She really is doing the best thing for her but i guess you know that it will be ok

She might get the pills some women say it is like a heavy period I think it is 2 over 2 days.