Help

[Ajjxx]

Can anyone help me?! I need some advice, I'm a married mum of 2 school age kids with literally no friends. I'm desperately lonely and it's really getting me down ☹️ I guess I come across as pretty unapproachable (serious resting b**ch face most of the time) and I have a terrible fear of rejection which makes it really hard for me to approach others. I don't know what I can do to try and meet people. I've had a look for social groups etc around my local area but can't really find anything. Can anyone give me any tips on how I can overcome my fear and try to increase my chance of actually meeting some people?! Thanks x

Ah, I'm sorry you're feeling down. Please know that you're not alone - loneliness is really common and affects people you wouldn't guess at. I find it's easier to befriend people when you're working on a project together or have some reason to meet each other aside regularly (a club, hobby etc) other than just socialising. Does your school have a PTA or other volunteering opportunities? My other tip is just smile at people - eg at school gates - you never know when it might lead to a conversation. If you reckon you have a RBF that might be something to work on :) but I'm sure you don't! Your DH obviously likes you and to your kids think you're the world. Maybe organise a play date with their friends' parents? Or does your DH have friends with spouses/wives you could befriend? You could set yourself a mini goal of making one social overture a week - see how it goes.

I hope that helps - I really do sympathise and I hope you meet 'your people' soon. Everybody is lonely sometimes, so don't beat yourself up. (Maybe repost this in chat if nobody else replies? It seems quiet in this topic -nobody has replied to my fascinating question about mucus either )

Where abouts are you OP?

PS re over coming the fear - there's no magic bullet but try reading Susan JEffers' 'Feel the Fear and do it Anyway' Clue's in the title! And remember most people are pleased to be talked to - especially if you open with a compliment about them or their DC. Good luck!

Don't look for 'social groups' look for a group that does something you are interested in - be that rock climbing or knitting, car mechanics or flower arranging, singing or playing rugby, gardening or astrology.
then yu can go along and enjoy a sing even if no-one speaks to you the first week. Or enjoy the challenge of climbing that rock even if no-one invites you for a drink afterwards in the first couple of weeks.
You will find that when you have a shared interest it gives you something you can have a conversation about without having to worry about small talk or wondering if someone likes you or not.

Thank you all. My oh doesn't have many friends either tbh but it's doesn't seem to bother him As much, plus he works so he has people he socialises with through work, I'm currently studying but haven't really met anyone through that either and now we have broken for the summer.. maybe I will try harder in September when it starts again..

x I will definitely look that book out x

Imsorryiasked - I'm from Bedfordshire