So who watched Supernanny last night?

[MrsDoolittle]

Seemed a bit obvious to me..

I would agree with you expatkat if it wasn't for the fact that the moment Charlie was controlled he became a completely different boy. He wasn't destined to be a nuisance but was actually really sweet and loving.
It is odd how the older children were so well behaved but I believe they were step children so maybe the missing parent was the greater influence in their early upbringing.

Ginababe, maybe the idea of sending them to sleep at the same time every day???
I have 2 friends, one with a toddler, the other one with a 4 year old and both thought is mean to send the child to sleep at seven.

Obviously, the mother of the first is the sort of mother who tells YOU off for not moving YOUR video recorder to a higher shelf before HER visit (once her DD has broken it), and the other one thinks is bad to send her child to bed before 11:00 pm because she could not play enough with her if sent to bed earlier (she works flexi time!!!). Needless to say, when we meet we spend the time running after them to avoid them trash the house (probably super nanny won't come to visits, but her methods will have effect even when out of the house?)

I have just discussed this over coffee with a friend who greeted me with "oooo did you watch supernanny last night?" No I didn't watch it, but she shares a lot of the opinions here, parents too tired and an altogether quite sad family until someone came up with the great idea of a bit of common sense

Here here lonelymum - half of the problem with Charlie is that he wasn't being treated like a child more a wild animal - he was so sweet and loving when he had routine and discipline in his life.

IO just could not believe that they did not see that if they perservered the first week super nanny left their lives would have been easier and they would not have been so tired??

I can't believe how hard on this poor couple you are all being, they obviously didn't let life get like that on purpose and fair play in them asking for help when they did. It's seems very easy to give in to every whim and whine for a 'quite' life, in the short term. Which is obviously whats happened there. Then the next thing happens and it's "oh , just do it/give it to him/let him" to keep him quite. In the end it had all snowballed way out of control. I know it was her 3 child and she should have 'learn't' how to parent properly by now etc etc. But Little Angels was similar in that the problem child was usually the youngest.

I don't find motherhood comes naturally to me as such and have learn't the hard way about DS' tantrums, telling him whats happening next, 5 mins warning, praising good behaviour, sticker charts, etc. Which is where we are now. Which I've found to be the key to his good behaviour. But I would never have thought of all of those on my own. I of course have you lot to take notes from and get great ideas and hear how actually it's not THAT easy, there are obviously loads, just muddling through.

I wathced with great interest as i am having probs with my Dd2 and Ds (4 and 19mths).

I had quite mixed feelings throughout the whole programme. I also was very shocked at the way the little boy controled the whole house, and do agree that they had let it go much too far.
However i can understand one hundred percent when the mother said she was scared to tell him no because she knew a tantrum would follow.

I often (too often) give in to my Dd2 just for a quiet life, and am pretty much the same with Ds.
Seeing little Charlie behave in that way gave me an insight of how my life could be in a years time if i don't take control of the situation.

Our situation is no where near as bad as they definatly do not rule the roost, they just adjust it slightly more than they should.

I too thought the giving him smarties instead of tea was terrible, as was the amount of choices he got for everything.
My kids very rarely get a choice in anything as i just say 'you are having/doing this or nothing.

The way they let it all slip as soon as the nanny left was appaling i thought, after she had put it all in place and shown them that it could work.

Following the programme i will be introducing a naughty somewhere or other. Not sure it could be the stairs as Ds would just mess about on them.

I will definatly be watching next week.

Sorry but I do not feel sorry for the parents. They are the ones who are supposed to be the responsible adults and the reason their life is so hellish now is because they have let it go that way. Agree that a bit more history would have been useful, but the two older kids were a shining example that they were capable of doing something right before.

Look how easier their lives became once they implemented the rules that the SN suggested. Everything was calm, the mother would have gotten her sleep, the kids got their me time. The two points I noticed were:

• when they were left to fend for themselves for a week, it was the husband who tended to drop the rigid rules quickest thus ending up back at square one

• when SN suggested that the mother was babying Charlie, she took the huff about that and said "but bringing up children is your job" Excuse me, but as a mother what is your job then. Yes it's a shame you have to work evenings to get by but you still have responsibilities to your child.

ExpatKat - I also thought I was just lucky that my two dds were so wel behaved and I do think the personality that they are born with plays a role but after watching SuperNanny I feel very smug because I couldn't believe my eyes. I've never seen a child rule the roost like that in my life. Those parents were pathetic. Sorry but no sympathy for them. Keeping up the rules and routines is hard when you're tired but so worth it. My two are brilliant at going to bed because we have ALWAYS had the same routine. People laugh at me for being so rigid but I get peaceful evenings to myself!!

Pagan, I think you've hit the nail on the head- it was the father who instantly let the rules drop; he is not the father of the first two, so you wonder whether that is the key difference rather than the personality of the individual children so much.

Maybe some kids are inherently more tricky, but Charlie was a lovely boy when he had some routines and consistency in his life. Very affectionate, sweet and adorable. Without routines and consistency he was clearly a picture of misery, hence the horrible, jaw-droppingly out of control behaviour.

Quick thought for nutty r.e. naughty place - we have a cushion on kitchen floor.Works like a charm, without worry of leaving child unsupervised on the stairs.

Watched this with 3 DSs (16, 14, 12). They were amazed & came to the unanimous (unprompted) decision that he "needed a good smack" ! (whoops- how to be popular on MN)

I don't believe in smacking, Tallulah, but I have to admit the thought crossed my mind once or twice too.

I know we saw that picture of contentment and sweetness with Charlie at the end, but my cynnical self wondered if perhaps he wasn't having an unusally good day when that was fiilmed. . .and I also wondered if maybe it behooved the producers to show a happy ending. A happy ending makes Super Nanny look like a Super Hero--and it's more fun to watch a gratifying and clear-cut Before-After programme than to watch something with shades of complexity.

was it just me but did anyone else pick up on the dominatrix (s/m) images (ie leather gloves - camera focusing on supernanny's legs etc)... thought it was done a bit too fetishist for a programme about parenting.
plus note when mum being interviewed- she is sat.....
on the naughty step!!! subtle er not!!

Chandra - on the sleeping issue, you obviously have a child who WILL go to sleep at 7. Some won't, short of aneasthetising them. I have a friend whose ds is the same age as mine, bar a couple of weeks (2.10). He still goes to sleep - and even takes himself to bed - at 6.30, and doesn't get up until 8.30 the next morning, even with a two hour sleep at lunchtime. Whereas my ds will be up at 7.30 am, and rarely asleep before 9.30pm, and hardly ever sleeps during the day (and no, he never displays over-tired behaviour). It's not so much that we have different views about what their bedtimes should be - we both have routines, they just hapen to take place at a different time of the evening - but they are just very different children, and have been from birth, so we've both had to adapt to that. No way would my ds ever do just two 4-hour stints of being awake each day, and no way would hers do a single 14 hour stint each day like mine does. Believe me I'd love to have some of the evenings free of him, and my friend would love hers to stay awake long enough for them to go out in the evenings with him occasionally. But routines alone can't change the natural way they are.

I didn't like how when asked by the supernanny in front of the daughter, if the mother missed spending time with her daughter (after the daughter had said she wanted to spend more time with her mum) she just couldn't seem to admit that she wanted Quality Time with her - she behaved like a spoilt child 'but you didn't come out with us when...' blah blah blah. I was screaming at the TV - 'just tell her you want to go shopping' which they eventually did! I just thought the mother came across a bit spoilt, yes she was tired but should you really moan about it in front of the kids and then say you would like another child as well?

I think that the methods of the 'supernanny' where tried and tested methods, and alot of common sense.

Being a parent and working too can be such a struggle that you cant see what is in front of your nose sometimes and you often dont even realise that - for example - you are arguing with a 3 year old over bedtime.

I think the family will all benefit enormously if they can continue with her methods.

But , I have to say I didnt like her one bit. Yes, she knew her stuff, but how often did she smile?? And when she watched the video of what happened when she was away, she seemed more angry that shed been disobeyed, than upset for Charlie who had had all his boundaries moved again and was clearly confused.

Im sure they couldve found someone a bit more friendly - I dont think she was very 'warm'.