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Confused about going for number 3

2 replies

Boo94 · 25/03/2007 02:29

I have two gorgeous girls 4 and a bit and 2 1/2 and have always thought that two would be enough for me as I sarted reasonably late (had first at 34) and never imagined myself with young children in my forties. Always said that I would have had three if I had started a little bit earlier, but not now.

Now I feel confused as I am surrounded by women in their late thirties who are fitting in 2 and 3 children having started even later than me and wonder if I have misguided myself. I have just always put more than 2 children out of my mind because of my age and now wonder if this is silly. Though I feel no great urge to have more (is this because I never let myself imagine this?) I feel a certain amount of peer pressure if you see what I mean. I feel blessed with two but there must be something great about having 3 or more if most people around me have this whatever their age. Maybe it's where I live. Have also being reading the threads on people going from 2 to 3 and most people say how great it is and 2 is 'too easy and safe'. Does anyone else think about being 60 though before the child leaves full-time education?
I would have been happy to start having children at 38 but now having had two I feel that it's not really necessary to put my body through all that again at 38 with the increasing risks, and also that I'm ready for the next stage - nursery and school, rather than breastfeeding and nappies again. But there is this slight niggle that I should have one more since I have enjoyed my two girls so much and well....everyone else is!!!! Sounds pathetic I know, but I think we are all influenced by what is going on around us. Anyone got any words of wisdom or can identify with this confused ramble?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Elasticwoman · 25/03/2007 10:01

I was 39 when I had No 3 and breezed through pg without worrying.

However, the following year my cousin aged 40 gave birth to a child with Down's. Now that is not the end of the world, but it did bring home the risks to me.

We are v happy with 3 and think our children are lucky to have each other

dither · 25/03/2007 10:09

boo, if you are happy as you are and dont feel any urge for more, then dont have more. you are ready for the next stage and theres nothing wrong in that.

i suspect that reading your own post, seeing it in black and white, has highlighted to you what nonsense it is to be thinking about doing something so lifechanging because it seems to be the done thing at the moment.

i wouldnt worry for a second about other people and their life choices. they have bugger asll to do with you or anyone else, and you rarely know the full picture anyway... honestly, i would stop worrying about it.

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