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Original poster

should I have a fourth child?

32 replies

Alderberry · 24/03/2007 22:16

I have 3 children, ds age 6, and dd's age 4 and 20months. I would very much like a fourth but dh is not keen. His reluctance makes me doubt whether it would be the right thing to do. Whats it like with 4? And does anyone have any ideas as to how to persuade dh?

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bubblicious · 24/03/2007 22:19

What sex are your other 3??????

ScoobyDooooo · 24/03/2007 22:20

it says she has 1 ds & 2 dd's

Nemo2007 · 24/03/2007 22:23

Alderberry no advice but will watch thread with interest..although my dh is happy to have more at the min we are taking a break while we decide what is best for the whole family

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bubblicious · 24/03/2007 22:23

oh sorry only read it as DC oop! my mistake just wondered if that was the reason why she wanted more(shall crawl back under the blanket!)

Whoooosh · 24/03/2007 22:24

Personally I would as I am not a fan of odd numbers.
I have several friends with four who have said that going from 3 to four was a doddle,it was 2 to three that was difficult.

However,you really do need dh on side for this I feel.

Bubble99 · 24/03/2007 22:28

Too many bloomin' Bubbles on this thread.

I say...go for it!

But then, I've got 4. Looking at your age gaps it might be nice for DD2 to have a sibling to pair up with.

bubblicious · 24/03/2007 22:28

I have three, and all girls. I must admit the amount of running about I do is enough, I love them all dearly and wouldnt be in any hurry to add another child to the family even if it meant it would be a boy(esp as its important to us as my DH is the last male alive of his surname). I would say treasure what you've got and count your blessings!

GreenandBlackOtter · 24/03/2007 22:37

for deffo

Tortington · 24/03/2007 22:39

no. there are too many on the planet as it is - you will be killing the planet and creating another person to use energy and cause co2 gasses

HillarysDancingInTheFairyField · 24/03/2007 22:39

Yes why not.... just say please pretty please with whipped cream on top

bubblicious · 24/03/2007 22:40

NO!!!! ENJOY WHAT YOU HAVE AND DO NOT EXHAUST YOURSELF!!!!!!!

LilyLoo · 24/03/2007 22:45

LOL whooosh when on the going from 2 to 3 thread advice was going from 0-1 or 1-2 was harder ! Think you both have to want it to make it right.

PeachyClair · 24/03/2007 22:46

Not unless Dh is up for it, but if he is (and dh wasn't, and now is) go for it! Y9u won't regret having a child you will obv adore- but you could well regret NOT having one!

(we're trying, but erratically as Dh works nights etc), to ttc no. 4 atm)

MarsLady · 24/03/2007 22:47

Yes!

ceolas · 24/03/2007 22:50

Yes. Agree with PC about regrets.

ebenezer · 24/03/2007 23:47

Try to analyse the reasons why you want a 4th. Make a list if it helps. Be really honest with yourself. Do you think it's just a yearning for a baby thing, and that by the time dc 4 is a few years old you'll be hankering for number 5? Or is it a real feeling that your family is incomplete? Either way, DH really needs to be in total agreement. Remember , he may have worries about supporting a bigger family, especially if you're not working, or even if you are it's the added expense of extra childcare. And will a 4th mean a bigger car/house etc. It's an enormous decision. Good luck

Original poster
Alderberry · 25/03/2007 11:40

thanks for all the advice. I know that logically it doesn't make any sense to want a fourth and I do feel very lucky to have 3 healthy children.On the practical side it would be much better to just stop now. But in my heart I really hanker after another. I don't think theres any danger of going for no.5 as I'm 37 now so time is kind of running out...

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confusedandignorant · 25/03/2007 18:52

at 37 you still have time on your side so there is no rush, and give you time for dc3 to get a little more independent I had my youngest two well over this age and many of my friends then wished they had gone in for more than two
Although with four or more you are always getting comments like don't you have a telly in your house (answer yes but we made the mistake of finding the off switch)

Greenshoots · 25/03/2007 18:57

Oooooh yes, gwan little babies are lovely

allieBongo · 25/03/2007 18:58

yes, and i will join you and have my 3rd

Original poster
Alderberry · 25/03/2007 20:08

My dh is more keen on the idae if we wait a while. But then I worry about the age gap and getting out of the swing of babyhood. It would be easier to wait as I'm not sure how I'd manage meal/bedtimes as its hard enough with 3 at the moment. Do you think a bigger age gap would work? Theres 2 yrs between ds and dd1 and 2.5 between dd2 and dd3.

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Bucketsofdynomite · 25/03/2007 20:19

Do you have siblings likely to have more kids later? If so then a bigger age gap would be lovely, all that time while they're at school to do all the things you couldn't due to pesky toddlers.

LadyTophamHatt · 25/03/2007 20:25

my lovley, gorgopues DS4 is almost 10 weeks old so if you ask me i'd say "YES....everyone should have 4!"

It#'s FAB!

LadyTophamHatt · 25/03/2007 20:26

"lovley, gorgopues"

WTF....

YKWIM....

Original poster
Alderberry · 25/03/2007 21:11

how old are your other 3?

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