I need help

[LauraMarling]

I feel like I've ruined my life and now I will ruin my children's.

I'm on anti depressants and anxiety medication. But I just don't want to really be here.
I find everyday a struggle.
Even when I'm happy I feel like my children never are and in turn just bring me down again.
My 7 year old seems mostly miserable and I have given my all it doesn't change.
I see a doctor regular and have had years of counselling.
If it was just me I would say "life just isn't for me" but I can't do that because it wouldn't be fair on the children.
I want to be the best mum and I love them dearly but I just can't connect to the world at all and deep down I don't want to.
I'm so sorry for my children. I had them young and had no idea what being a parent was really.
Sorry for this post but I had to put these thoughts somewhere.

Just read your post and you sound vulnerable and in need of support. You've mentioned counselling but I wonder if your GP could refer you for a more structured/intensive type of talking therapy or whether you need a change of therapist? Or a medication review? Practically speaking, do you get out much? Can you plan some enjoyable activities to look forward to?

@LauraMarling have you spoken to your GP and told them how you feel?

Do you get any practical support from anyone? I've heard that Homestart can be good.

How is your 7 year old doing at school? Have they mentioned any concerns?