Fed up!

[Tiredmummy92]

My husband has worked 1 day in the last 5. Every day hes off, he just sleeps. It takes me ages to wake him, and always causes an argument.
I am 30 weeks pregnant, and feel trapped. I don't leave the house because I have issues with breathlessness and SPD, so I can't take my kids anywhere alone. Hes asleep as I write this, after telling me hes taken the day off because I had a really bad episode of SPD and couldnt walk yesterday evening because I done so much round the house...
I had to shout to get him to get up and make our children(3 & 4) breakfast at half past 10! He does nothing with them. Doesnt take them anywhere really, unless it benefits him or unless im going. Which is difficult in my current state. If i try to wake him, hes horrid, asks me why he needs to get up? Whats the point? The kids ignore him anyway... and all this bollocks...
They dont interact with him much cause hes usually asleep! Im so fed up of having to deal with him. I have to wake him up for work, I have to ask him to do things most of the time for things to get done... im not a high maintenance wife, I don't expect him to do everything but at this moment I need more help, and i feel hes getting worse.
I honestly don't know what to do, when ever he is off work, I hate him. He wants a medal for going to work, like I wouldn't be doing it if I could...
ONE VERY TIRED MUMMY AND VESSEL!

Would it be easier if he wasn't there at all? He sounds like a dead weight, and if he isn't responding to his pregnant wife asking for help, then maybe the threat of separation might get through to him?

I've actually said that sometimes I feel there is literally no point in him being here... its not that he never helps out, it's that he will only help out when it suits him.
I worry about being on my own as im 30 weeks pregnant and have the two kids already, I collapsed on the landing yesterday evening (cause of my SPD), and if he wasn't there to help me i would if been stuck... this is what I worry about... its like he knows i need him atm so isnt afraid of just doing as he pleases...
I just wish he could get the hell out of bed! He got up at 3:50pm today!

It is absolutely shocking that he opted out of parenting his own children for the day, when you're hampered by SPD and just being pregnant as well. It's truly pathetic.

What does he say if you call him out on his piss poor attitude? Does he try and defend himself? Have you asked him why he doesn't care about you, your unborn child and your older two?

He sounds like an absolute twat

He sounds awful OP. Does he work nights? What on earth reason does he have to still be in bed at 3pm?! It does sound like you'd be better off without him. Do you have family or any support nearby?

He thinks something is medically wrong with him... thats his excuse. He cant help it he says... but there has been no attempt to ring any doctor in the last near week hes been off.
When he's been working he blames his tiredness on that, as hes crap at the weekend too, which is now why he doesn't see his first born daughter as much because I told him in not doing all of it on my own while you stay in bed.
He doesn't work nights, goes to bed at the same time as me, dont think he goes to sleep at the same time though... He couldn't possibly? As that would mean hes sleeping some times from 10/11pm till 2-4pm the next day...
I dont have alot of family around really, my sister has her own stuff to deal with, terrible back and fibromyalgia, has a 9 year old and 1 year old and works full time.
My father is useless, now talking about moving to Africa with his wife.
Mother died when I was younger and my nan and great aunt are in their 80s!
This is what annoys me! He knows i have to rely on him but I can't! Whilst im pregnant i need the help, when im not i dont need anything from him... so wondering what the point is anymore really? Do i keep him round incase i collapse like the other night because id done too much, mean while I had to ask him to do the steam cleaning, he only managed to do up stairs and take the bins out. Tbf he makes dinner more than me, but thats because I can't stand very well atm (have to sit down even to hoover), then kick him out when I feel better after ive had my LO..
I'm so nervous as im having a c-section this time round, how can I cope with two kids, 3 and 4, after the surgery? Getting my 4 year old to school as she starts in Sept! Im shitty myself cause hes gave me no hope he will help!

Just for example, i tried to talk to him today, to ask if hes avoiding going doctors for what ever reason, as he still hasnt rang even though he said he would today.
He basically told me to stop nagging him and shut up.
He says hes staying dow stairs tonight cause he thinks its our bedroom that makes him so tired?
We have some condensation mould behind the bed so i said 'right, we'll clean it, what do you cleab it with'
His answer whilst his face is in his phone 'i dont know'
I said 'well what have you used before?'
He says 'cant remember'
Is it me or is that just him being awkward.
Well ive ended up tidying it, told him he blatantly cant be arsed and isnt bothered about anything...
So yet again, today he had managed to make the kids some lunch (sandwiches and crisps, not exactly hard) and hes proceeded to sit on the sofa watching telly ALL day. (Well nearly all day, he got up at like 1:20pm).
Meanwhile ive been awake since half 7, because his work alarm was going off (big surprise, he didnt go in again). Yes ive not done loads today, just the breakfast for the kids, bit of hoovering, put some washing on and cleaned the mould, but still...

What do you get from this relationship OP? He sounds like a complete waste of space who you're better off without.

Why on earth did you have another child with this oxygen thief?

OP it really doesn't sound like he's contributing anything. In fact, it sounds like he's dragging you down.

It might be worth asking for this to be moved to relationships OP

What does he tell his work when he takes days off like this? Does he tell them he's ill, or does he take annual leave? Won't they need a doctor's note at some point?

He sounds like he doesn't want to engage and respond to you, like he's checked out of the relationship and parenting. I can't quite believe he let you clean the mold off the wall, given your SPD!

Did he get out of bed at 1.20pm, not sure I've understood what you mean there?

Has he always been such a waste of space, OP?

I dont really know what i get from it anymore. Sometimesi get a glimpse of what he used to be like and it gives me hope.. maybe false hope i dont know..
I feel pregnant by accident, and didnt think it was fair to blame to my baby...
Hes self employed, so basically if he doesnt got to work, he gets no money...
I also had to pull the bed out to get to said mould... so he must of heard me pulling it out etc...
Yes, he got out of bed at 1:20pm today, after i shouted that hes taking the piss now.. still took me over half an hour of shouting to wake him...
No, he hasnt always been like it, he has these strange stages of this.
Sometimes hes brilliant, couldnt be more helpful, gets up for work by himself, brings me tea and toast in bed before he goes etc... then he'll just change... this is what hurts me. I know how he can be! Its like he can be two different people, not like within a week, but within months?