I have always been the breadwinner. I work in a high stress environment but having been there over a decade, I've become accomplished at balancing work and life.
My husband has just started a new job. It is extremely high stress and he is working non-stop. He used to be the primary carer for our daughter and work very short hours but now hardly sees her.
The 'catch' is that his job is quite poorly paid. It is, however, a fantastic opportunity that will give him excellent experience.
It is very hard for both of us though to have him working such long hours (particularly as I work far shorter hours for far more money) and our daughter really misses him (and he misses her).
We just had a huge row because I suggested he might take some time to join me in the nursery-run tomorrow before he started work (ridiculously, he accused me of not understanding what it's like to juggle long hours with family!)
Only a few weeks in and I'm already so worried about the issues this change in dynamic is going to cause, without the benefit of bringing in much income.
We have a nanny so childcare isn't an issue, quality time is.
We both know the opportunity and experience is too good to turn down and we're hoping the hours lessen as he job develops. He doesn't have any experience of having to manage his own time to maintain work/life balance and I can already see him getting totally sucked in to his job.
I don't know what to do. I want to be supportive as he's supported my career for so many years, but he's gone from almost full-time father and loving husband, to being a totally absent father and it's really upsetting us all (him included).
I think we're both on the bring of telling him to give the job up but we both know that would be a terrible idea in the long-run.