Advice needed on baby crying

[Tropsy]

Hi everyone, I'm in real need of some help as I'm not sure what to do. My baby boy is three months old and has never slept for more than half an hour when on his own (ie in crib, buggy). I have had to resort to co-sleeping at night to get any sleep, but even that isn't working. He wakes constantly and needs to feed back to sleep. This is now giving him tummy ache and he writhes a lot in his sleep and has explosive nappies. We're both exhausted and I'm in physical pain from having to lie still in order not to move and wake him. The whole situation is giving me horrible anxiety, with difficulty swallowing and I really need it to stop. However - my boy cries whenever I put him in his crib. I don't want to put him through the stress of crying as I think he's too young. However, my husband has said that he thinks it's okay if our son cries in his crib but my husband would stay with him to let him know he's not alone. I would have to leave as i can't stand the sound or sight of him crying and always cave in. My husband is prepared to stay up at night for as long as it takes. He suggests I only feed him once every three hours at night (I'd come in from the spare room and then leave again). Does this sound like a reasonable solution? I'm so worried about him crying and the effect this may have, but at this point it feels like my only option. My husband is a very sensitive and kind man and would pick our son up if he got too upset, calm him down with a cuddle and then put him down again. What do people think? Many thanks in advance.

We've chatted it through and everyone rest assured - there will be no crying!

Villainous I totally agree with you. Feeding on demand is not working - his tummy cannot handle it. My supply is ridiculous - I soak through multiple breastpads a day and whenever I take my bra off the spray goes miles and in about seven different directions. Totally excessive and causing him discomfort. Loved your whip-it-out analogy!

Re:hindmilk and foremilk..I would read this article:
www.llli.org/llleaderweb/lv/lvsepoct95p69a.html
There isn't a magic moment where the breasts start to produce hindmilk, and the thought nowadays is that actually for many women there's not a great difference in fat or lactose content between the two. Breastfeeding on demand is the best thing for your baby. I would head to the GP to investigate further rather than create more problems and hassle by feeding to schedule which will more likely than not affect your supply and also your stress levels!
It does sound incredibly tough for you at the moment. Take some rest time for yourself if you can x

Cheers mysterycat - thanks for the support!

Tilleuls - thanks for the link. I've just read it with interest. I'm slightly confused though as the way I read it - it said that women produce milk differently, with some producing a higher amount of lactose heavy foremilk which can cause discomfort. This is what a few of us on this thread have experienced. I've been to the GP and there's nothing wrong with my son medically speaking. At this point I think a schedule will probably help. Thanks for the article!

No advice just to offer support. It is miserable. Yes 12 weeks is young but that is 3 months of no sleep which is torturous. Our third baby was exactly the same and it was hell. Your body aches and you are bone tired. I had no comprehension until we had her as to what really sleep deprivation was. I really hope your routine works. We waited until a year to sort our problems out and with hindsight I think I was bonkers.

This may be totally on the wrong track but is he good at getting his wind up? My Dd2 is great in all areas but at 2-3 months was always sick after feeding.
The gp advised winding her more often as in stopping feeding to burp, etc. It helped a lot and she's fine now but if I feed her lying down in the morning she doesn't sleep properly unless Ive winded her well.
I know it seems obvious but when you've had only a few hours sleep in the last god knows how long you don't see the obvious.

Thanks for the support. I would love to have a third baby but after this I can't see my husband ever agreeing to it :)

Yes he's great at getting his wind up - he always burps when he sits up and after a bit of a pat he lets some corkers out!

I also thought of oversupply when I read your post, op. I tended toward this, though not as bad. It really can give them a bad tummy, then they want to feed more to soothe, and it's a vicious circle. Not sure why posters have to start going on about CIO the moment you mention crying. At no point has OP suggested CIO. Babies cry. It's communication. He's not hungry, he's in discomfort/pain. Try the schedule.

I read an awful lot to try and sort DS out at the time, and while I am sure that there isn't necessarily a huge difference between foremilk and hindmilk in many people, nor is there a defined switchover moment, I can say what I saw when I pumped. I would get about 250ml from each (bursting, spraying) side. The first 150ml was very thin and blue. The next 200ml was white with wisps of cream through it. If I left it to settle, the first bottle would have 2cm of bluish water on top and the second would have 2cm of fat.

Also, there are definitely two types of gas: swallowed air in the stomach which can be burped up, and fermenting gas in the intestine, which is much more disturbing for the infant and can only be randomly farted out.

Oops meant to say 350ml.

Titty - very harsh and unkind. Particularly when op has said she's feeling so anxious.

Also, both my children could self settle before 12 weeks with no sleep training, crying it out or whatever. It's unusual but does happen. Don't spout your opinion as if it were fact.

OP - it must be incredibly hard. You and your husband sound kind and caring and you should trust your instincts.

Thanks everyone for your responses. We've got a plan in place so fingers crossed it works. Wish us luck!

Let us know how you get on!

Do you have a very strong let-down? I used to find that this caused trouble with DD2, so I let her suckle until let-down, then caught the "spray" in a muslin and let her feed once the flow had slowed down. Her tummy did seem more comfortable after that.