Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

A whole fortnight without my son - dreading it!!

27 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 12/07/2017 09:02

I posted about 8 months ago regarding my DH's intention to take our son (who was 2.5 years at the time) to Barcelona without me for a week and how I was really struggling with it and everyone on here was great!! I survived the week, some good days and some bad days, tears a few times and I missed him terribly but it all turned out OK.

However, in less than a week the two of them are heading off to Turkey for a fortnight (DS is now 3years 5months) and I'm dreading it!! Confused

I can't imagine sitting in a quiet house for 2 weeks with no kisses or cuddles off DS and I'm going to miss his little character!!

It was supposed to be our family holiday but due to me being heavily pregnant (and having pregnancy issues) I can't go. I'm feeling a bit crap that I'm not going to be there with them and I don't think that's helping.

At least when they went to Barcelona last year I had my job to keep me distracted whereas I don't have that this time round. It's going to feel so empty and lonely at home.

Has anyone else been separated from their child for the length of time? How did you find it and get through it??

At the minute I have to try not to think about them leaving but that's easier said than done....

OP posts:
AntiopeofThemyscira · 12/07/2017 09:04

I'd really hate that. Two weeks seems like a very long time for both you and your son. When was it booked?

AntiopeofThemyscira · 12/07/2017 09:05

And also if you're having pregnancy related issues why is your husband happy to be away from you for that long?

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 12/07/2017 09:05

It was booked last Autumn before I fell pregnant.

One of my first thoughts upon getting the BFP was "shit, what about the holiday!" Grin

It took my husband about 5 minutes after telling him I was pregnant before he came out with the same thing Grin

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

3 year olds Families General parenting
JigglyTuff · 12/07/2017 09:06

Why haven't you cancelled the holiday if you can't go?

OfDragonsDeep · 12/07/2017 09:07

I'd hate this too, especially being heavily pregnant. Does your DH want to go?

MiddleClassProblem · 12/07/2017 09:07

Just come to send you a virtual cuddle. Can you book in some things like lunches with friends? Get some films you've wanted to see but haven't got around to for the nights? Have someone to stay? (Although I would find that even more stressful unless it was my mum) Book a pregnancy massage?

You may not be able to stop your mind ticking but you could have some moments of distraction x

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 12/07/2017 09:08

And also if you're having pregnancy related issues why is your husband happy to be away from you for that long?

Because they aren't issues that anything can be done about, I will have them whether he's here or not. They aren't issues that are risky for me or baby just issues that mean I can't fly and ones that mean I'd miss hospital appointments etc if I wasn't here.

We talked about it a lot and I'm happy for him to go, he's not going without my blessing. They wouldn't have gone if I'd asked him not to.

OP posts:
Hotpinkangel19 · 12/07/2017 09:11

Honestly? My husband wouldn't dream of going on a family holiday without me? What is he thinking!! It could have been changed?? Or cancelled? We had our holiday booked for Lanzarote when I found out I was pregnant, I would be 31 weeks when we flew back so we changed it to August instead.

Mooey89 · 12/07/2017 09:11

Why on earth is he still going away leaving his heavily pregnant wife for 2 weeks?

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 12/07/2017 09:12

Why haven't you cancelled the holiday if you can't go?

We considered it but it cost us a lot of money that we wouldn't have gotten back and DS is really looking forward to it and I don't want him to miss out seeing as I don't think we'll be going on holiday again for a while. I got the cost of my flight refunded though so at least that's something.

OP posts:
JigglyTuff · 12/07/2017 09:44

But your insurance would have paid out for all of you if you've been declared unfit to fly. Confused

Sorry, I don't mean to come across as arsey, I just don't get why you didn't cancel the whole thing. It sounds miserable for you :(

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 12/07/2017 09:53

I will miserable because I will miss DS but I'm looking forward to two weeks of not chasing after him every day because it knackers me out.

I really am happy for them to go, I'm not worried about DH being away whilst I'm pregnant or anything like that. I'm just going to miss DS.

OP posts:
Kiwi32 · 12/07/2017 09:58

It sounds like you've made a considered decision for them to go without you so, to focus on how to cope with the time apart: distraction is your friend! Can you make plans with friends/family? Do some grown up stuff? Take the opportunity to focus on your current pregnancy and do the classes and the nesting etc you have lots of time for with your first and not so much afterwards?

Just because you're not able to go with them I would still try and use the time to give yourself a break so when you are all reunited everyone has had a rest/ a change of routine and feels recharged.

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 12/07/2017 10:03

Take the opportunity to focus on your current pregnancy and do the classes and the nesting......

That's a really good suggestion actually as there's still so much that needs doing and buying that we just haven't got round to doing. You're right, it will be a whole lot easier to do those things without DS in tow.

OP posts:
flissfloss65 · 12/07/2017 10:04

I really would have tried to see if the holiday could be postponed until next year via your insurance.

As for coping I would try and appreciate the me time. See friends, sort things in house, have family to stay.

Still seems an odd situation.

TheSnorkMaidenReturns · 12/07/2017 10:04

Does FaceTime/Skype help?

rizlett · 12/07/2017 10:06

It's your choice really op.

You decide whether you will spend the time missing your ds or whether you will spend the time knowing he is having fun and having some fun yourself.

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 12/07/2017 10:11

rizlet - he's going to have an AMAZING time, he's so excited. When they went to Barcelona last year DH sent me loads of photos and videos of DS having fun and that really helped so you're right in that focusing on DS's happiness as opposed to focusing on how much I miss him is the approach I should take.

OP posts:
MiddleClassProblem · 12/07/2017 10:42

People really need to let the whole holiday cancelling thing go. I think OP has explained herself well. This is the situation she's in and she's looking for advice and support in how to deal with it.

rizlett · 12/07/2017 10:55

It's natural to feel a bit left out though.

What might you do that will be nice for you writer?

Sarahisthename · 12/07/2017 10:55

Writer - just foucus on how lovely it will be for your DH and DS to spend some great time together, loads of dads would balk at the prospect of taking a toddler away on their own so you clearly have a hands on DH. You can use the time to get plenty of rest and have 2 weeks of suiting yourself . Get up when you want , bed when you want as you won't have so much time when little one arrives . You will all miss each other - but I bet your DS won't remember that when he grows up -he will look back at photos and remember a great holiday with his dad !

JigglyTuff · 12/07/2017 11:00

I would (assuming your complications don't make some of these impossible):

binge on boxsets you like and your husband doesn't
do lots of shopping
go and meet friends for lunch/dinner
go and visit friends
go and visit cities
have pedicures and go for long leisurely swims
get up and go to bed whenever you please

ProudBadMum · 12/07/2017 11:02

But 2 week of doing nothing! No child to chase, only your own washing, your own washing up. No more CBeebies.

For 2 whole week!

Enjoy it.

MissBax · 12/07/2017 11:03

For God's sake, people will find any reason to have a go at a post on here, and especially any reason to paint a husband in a bad light.

Still seems an odd situation. - how is it "odd"? Thats such an odd comment!

Maybe make a list of things that need doing around the house / garden / nursery etc that need doing and wait till then to tackle them. Go for lunch and take a book, some nice walks etc, see friends, go swimming, art galleries and museums are always good ones :)

I'm off on maternity now and it's weird being around the home on my own with so much time (and I don't even have a DC yet) so can only imagine how strange it'll feel with neither DH or DS there, but see it as a nice break for you too :)

MiddleClassProblem · 12/07/2017 11:11

Eat food that you can't normally because someone else wants it as soon as they see it or meals you don't cook because someone elsewhere doesn't like something in it etc

I'm a bit jealous!