Bit of an AIBU..

[buckyou]

I'm feeling really upset for my DD. But I'm not sure if I'm being over sensitive.

She's just turned 2 and not the easiest of toddlers but she's lovely when she's not doing her usual naughty toddler things.

Problem is, I don't feel like any of her grandparents really bother with her and it breaks my heart. In laws and my dad have never looked after her. My mum used to be really good but since I had my little boy she's just really negative about her. For example:
Said 'oh that's a good idea!' When I said I was going to send her to nursery an extra day when I go back to work so she won't have to look after her.
Goes on about how hard work it is when she looks after her (really not very often)
Just generally doesn't say anything positive about her.

My DD can be a bit hostile toward grandparents but shouldn't they try to make the effort with her? They were all dead keen for the grandchildren but now don't give s shit!

Am I being over sensitive?

Btw that sounds a bit like I just want baby sitters which I don't! If I asked they would all have her I'm sure its just none of them seem to be very fond of her!

I mentioned it to my mum and she got all offended and was like "of course we love her don't be so ridiculous" but the negativity has continued

Maybe she is finding it a lot of work babysitting. Grandparents are not there for childcare. I dont see any negativity here sorry.

It could be hard for her and that is fair enough. How often does she have her currently?

When you go back to work, if she doesn't have your DD at all, I'm sure she'll be keen to arrange to see her and will probably value her time more with her then.

Tantrumming toddlers can be hard work!

As for the others, if they aren't making effort it is their loss. Don't feel bad for DD. She has you and your love and that's most important.

I can see where you're coming from,

But, is it possible that the gps just don't want to be responsible for a child of young age? Maybe they're just past it when it comes to toddlers?

Again though, I have a mother that doesn't bother, dd is almost 3 and she's never had her for even an hour. She lives an hour away though but it is used as an excuse as she can never be bothered to visit me, it's always been expected I go to her, even when I got the wrong day once and she sent me and dd away because she "wanted to clean and I should have come tomorrow", dd was 18 months old (super excited to see her, mum just looked at us like we'd killed the cat, not even a hello) and I had a 3 hour car journey with her that day.

FIL talks the talk but never has her even though we see him every day (DP and FIL work together), it used to upset me a bit because dd adores FIL and her nan but I'm past it now. If they (particularly mum) can't be bothered then eventually dd won't bother back and that'll be nothing but mums fault.

Sorry for my rant there! Jist of it, I understand your side but maybe they're past toddlerdom and are waiting until she's older?

Ime some people just aren't cut out to fulfill the expectations of a gp. .
Nc with my dm as she was no better a gp than she was a dm. .
I bet your dd is a lovely toddler - just beyond the realms of ease that some people prefer. .
Their loss.
Ime dc manage perfectly well without gps.

She doesn't have her at all now. It's not the baby sitting as I said but they don't seem to want to see her at all!

Their loss then OP!

It's crap I know. Most of my close family don't care about my DC either, forget birthdays etc. and it really upset me at first but I have a very dear friend and her son and they more than make up for it! Her mum who I have now known for years has even knitted them both blankets, cardigans etc.

If you have other people in your life who have showed love and care towards your DC then they are your family.

If not, she still has you.