Pregnant - please tell me your 2 year age gap experiences

[WhyTheHeckMe]

I'm 5w pregnant and very happy, just hoping everything works out.
Ds will be 2 years 1 month when baby is due. Would love to hear positive and negative experiences of this kind of age gap.
Our situation is that I currently work 4 full days and ds goes to nursery which he loves. My plan would be to leave him in 1 or 2 days for duration of my mat leave
Thanks

Toddler still needs lots of attention and cuddles. Still needs a lot of supervising when in the next room. Very hard to do that if you're breastfeeding as it takes up a lot of time. Also naps take up a vast amount of your day between both of them. So you have to have a timetable in your head for all feeds/naps/meals. You have to be always operating half hour ahead. "So he's going to need his lunch at one, but baby will be napping then, so I need to make it now and put it on the table before she nods off so he can get it himself...."

It's a lot of mental energy.

Toddler needs a lot of exercise, so get a sling so you can get out twice a day and the baby will nap on you and you can still grab the toddler when he bolts.

The more nursery the better.

Pros: you're still in Nappy Central and it honestly makes no difference to be doing one extra bottom. You are also used to disturbed Sleep. So it's not that jarring. You still have vast amounts of baby clothes and toys so thats seamless. You don't really have to interact with them that differently.

Baby will worship toddler. Toddler will have no concept of life before baby within a week of baby arriving. They can become very very close.

My DD1 was 2y2m when DD2 was born. First three months were a blur of just being exhausted and feeling like I was on a treadmill of total exhaustion. However DD2 is now almost a year and they play together, seeing what a lovely big sister DD1 is is genuinely heart warming and I feel like we are all just about getting enough sleep and I've worked out how to do it now!

Mine are 2 years and 3 months apart. I loved it. Obviously, it's a lot of work and I barely sat down for a couple of years, but it was wonderful.

Will be the same age gap for me too, I think it'll be ok, DS understands my bump.
He doesn't go to nursery at all though, probably won't until
He turns 3 and gets the feee hours.
Thinking of doing 1 day a week for him though in nursery come October.

We've just had #2 and there is just a few days shy of 2 years 1 month. Her big sister ADORES her and has been helping me out with nappies and cuddles during feeding.

One thing we did do was make sure any big changes (toddler bed etc) were done prior and with enough time. We're also holding off potty training in the meantime whilst they get to know each other. We spent a lot of time talking to her and explaining about the baby in mummy's tummy.

It's going to be hard but based on everybody I've spoken to, they've said it's a fantastic age gap to have. Close enough to be almost peers but enough that they'll not be on top of each other at school activities etc. Massive congratulations btw xxxx

2 year 2 months gap here.

It was ok in the first few months. Ds did nursery two mornings a week and baby dd slept in the sling most of the time. I was tired yes hence nursery so could nap then.

It got harder when dd started moving around and grabbing stuff. So I worked quite hard on making sure that I didn't treat ds as older than he really was. We clamped down on any hitting and made sure we had toys for baby dd and didn't make ds share (we encouraged him to let dd borrow things but ultimately they were his. The analogy was that as an adult I wouldn't share my mobile phone - I would let someone borrow it though).

I read siblings without rivalry as well.

Dd started napping properly in her cot at about 5 months which made a huge difference. We didn't bother with a routine for her - just slotted her into ds's routine which meant that they napped at the same time. That was a golden time didn't last though.

Now they're 5&7 and get on pretty well most of the time. They even like sharing a room. It's a brilliant gap - sameas me and my brother - and I'm so happy! Mostly.

I will also add, we didn't make a big deal about ds being a "big brother" at all when I was pregnant. We were careful to only really mention it when he noticed my tummy growing. We warmed him up to the idea when it got closer to the due date.

When dd was born, we introduced her without fanfare and he was fine with this.

So we didn't get any tantrums etc - being only 2, with a sense of time very much in the "now", we decided this was a better way.

Mine were almost exactly 2 years apart, with birthdays in the same week. The first year was very, very hard for me and my toddler probably didn't get the attention I would have liked since I was so tired all the time with a demanding baby. I focused on keeping them both clean, well fed and safe and we got through the year, just!

Once they were three and one an both walking I think our lives were much easier. Potty training the youngest was really easy as we still had a potty downstairs an she could see her brother using it - she trained herself at 18 months old. Activities became easier to attend for a few years as they could both enjoy the same things at the same time and our house was child-friendly for a reasonably short period of time since our younger child learned so quickly from the elder.

Although it was incredibly difficult, I don't regret it.

*for some reason I keep missing the 'd' from 'and'. I either have a finger problem or a D problem.

Placemarking for a read as mine will be 20months apart when #2 makes an appearance in October x

My first two are 14 months apart. Three year gap and then second two are 21 months apart.

First two are now 8 and 7, and are very close. Second two are close, but still small enough to squabble a lot.

I absolutely love it. It's so nice for them to have a buddy as they grow up. I found the first year of each babies life exhausting, and I retreated into a baby bubble. But it's temporary.

And when I breastfeed (#4 is still going) then usually everyone else comes in for a cuddle too and we watch some TV. Happy days.

Yes, I never bothered telling the older one about a baby in Mummy's tummy. He thought my big belly was funny but didn't pay much attention. He really wouldn't have understood much and it would have just confused him. Then one day a baby appeared and he was fascinated. He actually didn't understand the concept of a "brother" till he was closer to 3 by which time she was already a year old.

2 years 2 months between ds1&2. Neither were good sleepers so it was a bit of a challenge at times but from the day they met they've had the most wonderful love and bond.

They are now 7 and 5, dd turned 1 last week and ds3 due in 3 months. No idea how that will be, but would be awesome for her to have a best friend at home the way the boys had each other.
Keep the sudocrem waaay out of reach is the advice I wish I'd been given before ds1 woke from his nap and painted himself/the flat with it when I fell asleep getting newborn ds2 down for a nap. It's amazing how far that stuff can go.

Thanks so much, been great to read! Must say I'm feeling a little nervous now.

I struggled quite a lot with sleep dep with ds. I breastfed him till he was 7mo but until I stopped he never slept anywhere but on me or next to me. And would wake all the time.
After I stopped and he moved to his cot he started sleeping through and has done for around 8 months now, 7.30pm-7am. He is a little dream and when I think back to the amount of days I sat crying because I was so tired I can't help question what I've done! But I know (hope) in the long run it'll all be worth it.
Is it really true you never get 2 kids the same?!

My DS was a great eater and sleeper.

DD was neither.

At least my first couple of years of parenting were a gentle introduction!

20 months here. I would say the baby years for DC2 were easy. Having two in nappies was easier than having to try and find public loos for DC1 while trying to feed DC2! However, I will be honest and say I found the years when they were 2 and 4 up until about 4 and 6 very very hard and it put a huge strain on my mental health and relationship with DH. It felt as if I was just a referee. Think we are coming out of it again now though and things are much better. To be honest, it may just have been that people warned me so much about the early days that I found them easy compared to my expectations and then let my guard down

2 year, 15 day age gap here.

During the off I had lots of mummy guilt, and felt I had to neglect my DS sometimes to see to DD. I tried to make lots of 1:1 time for DS and still do now they're 2 and 4. It took me a long time to get used to splitting my time and cuddles and patience with two.

The first year was extremely difficult, very emotional and absolutely exhausting...but its great now, they are best friends and hate being away from each other; I wouldn't have done anything differently!

From the off*

26 month gap here, older DD, younger DS.

By FAR the hardest thing for me has been the guilt.

Practically, it's been easy - I used a sling and BF and so we just carried on as usual with life with DS snuggled into me. DH works away a lot and the first week of doing bedtime solo with both of them was tricky but we very quickly got ourselves sorted. I co-slept with both (still do with DS) and because I was much more confident about it second time round I never really felt that sleep deprived. And DD had already given up napping by the time DS arrived so there was never any downtime!

But the guilt was awful at first. I felt so guilty towards DD for disrupting her idyllic existence and towards DS for not giving him all the attention and massage classes and whatnot that DD got. That eased a lot around 9 months when I realised that DD couldn't remember life before DS and when they started really enjoying each other's company.

I highly recommend Siblings Without Rivalry and Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings, particularly the latter for the first couple of years.

And we did read and talk a lot with DD about the new baby when I was pregnant because that's the sort of child she is and she really needed that, but you know your DS best and whether he would benefit from it or not.

I have a 23m gap (now 14m and 3y). It was honestly much easier than I thought. Toddler too little to really get jealous and pretty much ignored baby until she crawled (and ruined his toys/games).

Kept toddlers routine normal and baby tagged along in the sling. Normally toddler groups/ rhyme time/park/shops etc in the morning. Home for lunch and nap. Play at home/chores/pottering in the afternoons.

We had a magical few months where they both had a long nap after lunch until toddler dropped his nap.

A sling is your best friend and I found breastfeeding so easy this time and honestly think my life would have been harder with formula feeding and the organisation that requires. I'm still feeding baby at 14m.

2 years almost to the day between my boys and yes it's hard work to start with (that first few weeks is always hard though right?!) Dealing with a two year old when you haven't slept is totally shit imo and I felt like I was really neglecting my eldest (which I wasn't, just being irrational! It's weird going from one to two)
My youngest is now 4 months and just beams and giggles at his brother, lots of cuddles, totally melts my heart.
I kept DS1 in nursery for two days a week which I HIGHLY recommend
Once the first few weeks are out the way and you get into some sort of routine, You'll be fine. I was really worried too but I'm managing! It's a bit like your first - you wonder how the hell you can look after a real life baby, but you just DO!
Good luck

I'm 7 months into a 21 month gap with two girls and love it. They both absolutely adore each other - I hope it stays that way. The baby laughs every time she sees the toddler and desperately wants to follow her round; and the toddler loves looking after her little sister.

I found going from 0 to 1 infinitely harder although I'm definitely more sleep deprived this time round. I'm lucky that the toddler is super easy and now sleeps like a champion (but is up early at 6 so no lie ins with the baby).

The hardest part for me is that I miss my toddler - as I'm EBF the baby it's meant my husband is doing a lot more with the toddler and it makes me wish I had more time for her. But I wouldn't change it for the world.