managing bad language in texts - kids with mobiles...

[kemptownlady]

Hi
I recently discovered that my 11yo son has been involved in an incident which involved some pretty rude texting between his mates. The language isn't nice and we were alerted to it by one of the other kids parents. We have given my child a telling off plus a talk about how you mustn't ever use that kind of language and a warning that he will lose his phone if this happens again, but I feel upset as I had no idea he knew this sort of language (I've seen what he wrote) and also feel he is going to be judged by the other parents. He's a good kid at home, helps out, helps out our neighbours, he's polite, considerate and also good at school. I've no idea if I'm overreacting, if this is normal for a 11yo boy or whether we need to be doing more to address this???

Sounds like you dealt with it well to be honest, you didn't brush it under the carpet like some parents would do but equally it sounds like you didn't go batshit at him, which probably wouldn't have helped! If you think he understood the consequences and why it's wrong I would leave it there, although still check his phone every now and then just in case. Is he at secondary school because if so, that's where he'll have picked up the language. Unfortunately it's pretty common place in most secondaries. If any other parents mention it to you, just tell them you were very annoyed with him and it's been dealt with accordingly. You may find it was started by other kids and he just got carried away with it too.

Sounds like you dealt with it well to be honest, you didn't brush it under the carpet like some parents would do but equally it sounds like you didn't go batshit at him, which probably wouldn't have helped! If you think he understood the consequences and why it's wrong I would leave it there, although still check his phone every now and then just in case. Is he at secondary school because if so, that's where he'll have picked up the language. Unfortunately it's pretty common place in most secondaries. If any other parents mention it to you, just tell them you were very annoyed with him and it's been dealt with accordingly. You may find it was started by other kids and he just got carried away with it too.

Pretty standard at that age to swear in front of your mates I think. They think they're dead grown up 🤔

I know I did.

You dealt with it well imo

swearing, or more like really offensive talk? If it's the first, no biggie, not really, you tell him it's not on. If it's the latter eg sexual or racist or bullying, explain the rules of decency and why they are really important. And keep a close eye on his phone for several years to come (letting him know you are)

Thanks everyone for your feedback. I'll carry on as I am, monitoring closely and talking to him about what's acceptable and what isn't. it's so difficult to navigate your way through this.