People being critical

[beekeeper17]

How do you cope with people, family mainly, being critical over things you do as a parent? I have a 9 month old and haven't really experienced it before but the past few days have just been a bit rubbish and I'm still annoyed about it now. And the thing is that there was really no reason for them to be criticising anything!!

So I gave my dd some lunch which was a bit lumpy (she's not been great at taking lumpy things but I'm trying to introduce it a bit more to get her used to it). She ate a bit but not a lot, which is progress! And then family say things to the baby like 'Oh is mummy trying to make you eat things you don't like, poor thing' or 'you must still be starving as you didn't get much to eat'

Then we were out for lunch and I had fish which was really soft so I gave her a small bit and she screwed her face up, which she quite often does when you give her something she's not expecting. Then I tried a second bit and she refused, probably because she didn't like it or she was full already from just having eaten. No big deal really, I wasn't going to start trying to force feed the poor child. And I get told by my mother to stop trying to give it to her, and I said it's good for her to try a variety of things, and mum said well here is not the place for that! Like what does that even mean??

I know they're only small things, but I've been really happy with the progress we've made with weaning so far as it was slow to start with, and just feel pissed off with silly comments like that. It maybe doesn't sound much to someone else reading it but it just feels like they think I'm not doing my best for her, instead of being supportive. My experience with weaning so far is that she doesn't always take to things immediately but if I keep offering her something over the course of a few days/weeks she usually will take it after a while.

And it's not just weaning, I get told that I need to put a cardigan on her because she's cold (she really isn't) and other things like that.

Sorry about the rant, think I feel better just getting that out there, it's really been pissing me off, and I'm not one to get into an argument about it, I usually just try to ignore it.

You are doing the right thing and your mother sounds painful. Mine is the same. I would just keep saying thank you for your opinion, but I'm doing it this way- or the doctor/ health visitor told me to do it this way (even if they didnt). Don't enter into a discussion about it and just try to ignore as much as possible- easier said than done I know!

Thanks for reading and taking the time to reply! Reading it back, I know people deal with much worse comments, but I just find it so frustrating and it brings you down especially when you're enjoying a nice family day out.

I don't want to make mum out to be awful, she really is lovely. I'm the younger child (even though I'm late 30s!) and I think she still feels a need to tell me what to do! I just hope I'm not like that with my own children, I hope that I can find a way to support them and give them the confidence to find their own way.

Did you learn to drive, were you given lots of tips and unasked for advice? Were you ecstatic to pass only for family and friemds to keep piling in with comments and witticisms like,
"I don't know what they teach learners these days/I think the examiner was in a very forgiving mood when you took your test" etc.
Suddenly EVERYONE'S AN EXPERT.
Of course the more driving hours you put in the more confidence grows. And often a doomsayer next to you puts you off!
Techniques change over time.

That is maybe a stupid analogy but sometimes it is useful to just let such remarks wash over you or make a non-commital uhuh noise.