Feel like a horrible mummy

[Itsjustaphase2016]

Had a really stressful evening and feel horrid - I have 3 dc under 6- I had done the baths and pjs were being put on. The baby (who sleeps in a separate room to the other 2dc) was getting fractious so I told the others (age 3 and 5) to finish putting on their nighties and then sit quietly with a book on their beds whilst I got the baby off to sleep. I said is be back in for stories/teeth in a few mins.
Disturbance 1 - The 5yo came in to tell me that the 3yo was "really in pain because she couldnt out her nightie on".i checked,she was laughing and nightie was on.
Baby starting to get quite het up.

I tried again to get the baby to sleep. Continuous loud bangs and thumping coming from the bedroom and some shouts too. Baby nearly asleep so I quietly leave the room.

Arriving back in the bedroom the 5yo tells me that the 3yo has ripped her favourite book twice,thrown all her lego cards under the bed and messed up her bits and pieces generally. This apppeared
to be true so I tell 3yo she isn't having a story tonight and explain why (chiefly book ripping). Of course 3yo starts shrieking and kicking etc and I'm so worried she will wake baby (who takes an age to fall asleep sometimes,nightmare)that I clamp my hand over her mouth!! I ask her to stop when I remove my hand,she doesn't so I do it again! I really lost my temper and even shook her a bit and shouted saying "shut up shut up"and "what is wrong with you!?" and then I lifted her onto her bed but with a bit of force and she bashed her leg against the bed and screamed more! Baby now properly screaming and I shout at both dc a lot before stomping out of room to soothe baby.

Finally get baby to sleep and return to bedroom to find 3yo asleep (I didn't even say goodnight) and 5yo awake so I read to her and reassured her etc.

I just feel so so guilty. Poor dc.They should have a lovely calm bedtime! And the day was going so well too - we all had such fun together until bed time...!

Sorry you have had no replies. I think many of us can relate to bedtime nightmares. I found it hard with two let alone three children. Of course you know that what happened is not something you want to happen again but children push us to our limits sometimes .

I wish I had some magic tips. It is so difficult. I only have 2 so not qualified to advise but I remember many, many bedtimes with a fractious baby and a toddler messing around .

Op don't want to read and run hopefully some one with a few wise words will be along. I'd chalk it up to a bad day, be glad to see the end of it and look forward to tomorrow.

The mere thought of balancing a niggly baby, 3 and 5 year old at bedtime on my own at bedtime brings me out in a cold sweat. The very fact you're feeling shit means you're not a bad mum. She won't remember. Tomorrow is another day

Ah nightmare bedtime! I think it's a little rite of passage- the time when the second youngest child fully appreciates that they are not the baby and to never wake the baby! I think as long as it's not an everyday occupance give them a big hug inthe morning & all will be well.

I have done this kind of thing - losing temper and saying "shut up" and "what's wrong with you" (even though I KNOW how awful these words sound and that they don't even work) in moments of total desperation, usually following a long shift of patient, draining parenting. It does feel horrible afterwards. I hate that I've been so rude and mean and hurtful, and I feel like I've ruined the earlier, happier part of the day for the dc, and I worry melodramatically that the echo of me saying those things will stay with them forever in the style of a naff film montage sequence, etc. But in the moment the stakes can feel really high as you're scrambling to keep a grip on the situation, and it's so hard to surpress frustration.

Hope you can forgive yourself and move on, OP. Cuddle them in the morning, debrief and apologise. Tomorrow is another day!

We had a similar night ds1 and dniece refer to it as the time I went mental and agree they will never be so naughty again. I said sorry for shouting at them but explained their behaviour was making it very hard for me. I stomped into the room and told them they were selfish children and to not make a noise or more a muscle until I returned

I have a 4 year old, 2 year old and 11 week old and Dh is away a couple of nights a week. I feel your pain! Some days it goes ok, some days it's a total disaster. Last week there was a night when all four of us were in tears 😬.

Forgive yourself, you are not a terrible parent, it's really bloody hard and frustrating. I'm about to commence tonight's attempt, it could go either way. The thought of a big glass of wine afterwards helps. And it's not forever!

Was just coming on here to write a similar post - 3 dc as well, one newborn.
Went totally over the top giving out after the two older ones were going crazy at bedtime, they'd been in bed since 8 and were still shrieking and laughing and banging at 9.30! After multiple attempts to tell them calmly to stop, I was so cross and told them if they didn't stop I'd leave the house and not come back and said they were the worst behaved children and always breaking promises.
Even though their behaviour was dreadful, I really feel I lost control shouting and railing at them. :(
Why is it so hard to be a good parent ?!