Primary School Dilema

[schmelerlouveni]

My eldest is currently in year 1, she is the top in her class. In reception she asked for homework and we got told it wasn't issued (other than spellings and reading) and that to just let her be a child. Her being a child is always having to learn things, she was reading before she attended nursery (she started reading properly at 3 years 5 months). I was concerned this time last year that she was going to find that she wasn't challenged again and would be bored some what. The few parents I talked to said the next teacher was the best in the school and she was brilliant in pushing their older children when they were in her class. I had high hopes.
This teacher has been great with any issues we have had but academically my daughter still feels she isn't being pushed and we've been asking for homework, or resources that we could use at home to supplement her education. This has been promised but never happened, despite asking a fair few times over the school year. We just keep getting told she's a pleasure to teach, doing well etc.
The last two weeks her spellings have been marked incorrectly, once by a teaching assistant and the other by the teacher. One assistant tried to cover it up then the teacher told me my daughter had actually marked it herself on the occasion she had written 'good', my daughter on the other hand said she hadn't and her teacher did (the ticks aren't in her handwriting nor does it look like a child had ticked them).

My hubby thinks we just need to push her at home and leave her where she is rather than make more hassle. I'm not convinced and I want the best for my daughter, but I'm not sure if moving her is the right thing?

We have our 2nd going in September and I'm worried we're going to have two children not meeting their full potential.

I have contacted a local school that have an outstanding ofsted and they are meeting with us on Friday to talk about what they do, or could do for the eldest. They have a place left for her but nothing for my youngest, thankfully the start and finish times are offset against the two schools so it could work.

Would you move one, then hope to move the other? Would you try again to speak with the current school?

I'm really worried I'm going to make the wrong decision but I don't know which? If I could afford private school I wouldn't be hesitating.

It's worth looking at the other school and seeing what you think. If it's another state school though they will be restricted by big classes and mixed abilities the same as her current school is.

Is she happy at school (other than academically)? Does she have friends? I'd be reluctant to move her if she is happy and settled unless the other school looks much better.

I agree with your DH re. challenging her at home. It would also probably help to ask the teacher for specific things rather than 'homework'. So, if she finishes her work quickly, you could ask that she be allowed to take a reading book in and read when she is finished if she is bored waiting for example. She doesn't need homework from school, if she wants to do work at home you and Dh can manage that. There are loads of resources available.

You don't know yet whether this will be a longterm problem i.e. she is destined to be significantly above average forever or temporary e.g. she's an early starter and by year 2/3/4 the others will have caught up.

Totally agree with nuff.

I say this as the mother of a VERY academic child - is she happy at school?
If your daughter is very bright she will ( with support from home) do well so focus on her social wellbeing instead.
I agree with what the school said about letting her just be a child, she's still very young and will be under pressure as she gets older so no need to apply any now.
If she's bored give her things to do at home
I'm totally with your husband on this one

It is worrying that a teacher who most parents consider 'good' is not meeting your expectations. It might be the school, but it might be that you have very high expectations. While on the surface there is nothing wrong with that, on the other hand it may lead to you and your daughter feeling continually let down and dissatisfied. I would suggest that whether you change school or not, you take on board your husbands attitude (make the best of what we have) and some of the advice here - nothing to stop a bright child learning at home through reading, online paid apps like Maths Whizz or similar, but also exploring other things that might give her satisfaction - dance, chess, athletics, coding, arts, climbing, brownies, whatever it will be.

If she is happy and settled with friends, I think your DH is right and you supplement school with other activities that she likes.

I'd see the lack of homework (other than reading) as thoroughly positive btw. And it gives you a huge amount of scope to follow your DD's interests.

I would be careful what you wish for with homework. In our experience it is often less differentiated than class work, frequently not marked and not targeted to the needs of your child, yet you need to complete that before you can tackle the issues your child needs/wants to do. For example they might be doing shapes and so sheets are sent home to complete on shapes when what your child would really benefit from is going over two times tables or spellings or whatever. This is not a criticism of the teachers - they are teaching them all day, they know that homework in primary has limited benefit and often widens educational disadvantage. They issue it because some parents want it. You would do much better to download from internet/ buy some workbooks (which is often just what homework is) and work through them together with your child so that you know which areas they need to work on and you are more in touch with their progress. There are loads of books out there. Or just let them be children and relax until at least ks2.

If you think that the cohort in the new school might be more challenging then that is a different issue and I think that the nature of the class can have an impact but I wouldn't move her just for homework and pushing her academically.

The lying about the marking is bad, id go and see the other school.
However, homework has been shown to have little or no educational value for children of rhat age so u really wouldn't be bothered about that. At home she can read, play a musical instrument, learn to code, do science experiments, play chess or just go to tge Park, swim, ride her bike or go to an extra curricular group. Why does she need to be doing homework instead of all that?

As others have said, if she is happy and making friends I would probably leave her there. I think supplementing with your own activities at home is better as they can be tailored to her own interests at the time and can give her chance to explore topics that interest her on her own.

Isn't there a "buzz phrase" about stretching bright children sideways rather than just upwards through levels?

Is there any particular reason why you and your DP are incapable of finding interesting stuff for your DD to do at home?
There is a whole world of new experiences and new ideas to explore together - limiting yourselves to doing homework set by an unwilling teach seems to be doing your DD a disservice.
What is your DD interested in - can you help her explore those areas in more depth?
What resources are there in your local area - anything from libraries, country parks to museums and clubs (such as Rainbows)?
What passions do you and your DH have that you could share with your DD - sport, hobbies, cooking, computing?
Let the school do their stuff and you get to do all the fun, memorable stuff that will prepare your DD for education and life.

No harm in going to see the other school and see what you think.
Agree with pp that you shouldn't focus on more homework at this stage. Other curricular activities like learning a musical instrument might be a good idea. Academic work is just one part of development - make sure you are placing equal importance on her social development and other skills.
A friend of mine was never satisfied with schools for her DD. She was also very bright. I think she moved schools about 5 times in 11 years. Unsurprisingly, her DD is very unsettled socially (age 20 is now on her second gap year before university). Just make sure that you are absolutely certain about moving her - and don't plan to move her again if the next school doesn't meet your expectations. Good luck!

You could look through the school's policies and see what they say they do for identified able children prior to your meeting.