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Original poster

How to overcome toddler fussy eating?

24 replies

IDoDaChaCha · 03/07/2017 20:19

Just wondering how other mums cope with fussy eating? DD is 16mos and used to be a fan of veg, now she has moved on to fruit and doesn't seem to want anything that isn't sweet. Do you work on principle if you don't eat your dinner (or throw it on the floor...) you're not hungry and take it away not offering anything else, or do you give them what they want? She can't just live on fruit surely...

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Pickerel · 03/07/2017 20:26

I have three primary age DC, all good eaters and they all went through a fussy stage around this age! It's a power thing - she's just realised that she has the ability to say no and is trying it out. IMO the best way of dealing with this is to be very relaxed about what she does or doesn't eat. If she realises that you're stressed it may turn into a bit of a power struggle. Keep offering all kinds of fruit or vegetables, a mixture of things you know she likes and things she may not, and don't worry about what gets eaten and what gets thrown on the floor.

totaldiva · 03/07/2017 20:31

Great advice from pickerel only thing I'd add is to eat together as a family as often as possible, try not to focus on what's she's eating, just set a good example eating what you are having.

Oh also try to get her something she likes alongside, even a slice of bread just so you know she will eat something she likes.

Squishedstrawberry4 · 03/07/2017 20:39

I wouldn't offer sweet for finishing savoury. That would create poor eating habits and poor expectations.

Personally I'd stop offering fruit and stick to veg/normal savoury foods until she's lost her sweet tooth and reestablished a savoury palette. Once she's back on track, give her things like berries with porridge or a fruit salad with Greek yogurt for breakfast.

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Original poster

IDoDaChaCha · 03/07/2017 20:41

Thanks Pickerel, I try not to react. I do say don't do that when she throws food on the floor. Should I just ignore it? We eat together, she eats what I eat. She was very adventurous but suddenly fussy. Doesn't help that her Nana panders to her whim...

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Sparrowlegs248 · 03/07/2017 20:43

Ds has just come out the other side. He was blw, was gnawing on broccoli etc from six months, then just stopped eating a lot of veg. He will happily eat it in ameal now, and is starting to try new things that I put on his plate, even if he doesn't like them. He's nearly two.

Original poster

IDoDaChaCha · 03/07/2017 20:44

Squished, what if she refuses to eat the savoury food? I tried it this evening and she ignored it all. She drank all of her bedtime bottle and seemed to want more milk not food, it's like she's regressing with feeds. I want to think - she'll eat when she's hungry- but feels a bit mean sending her to bed with virtually no tea. I think I'm losing the power struggle... Aagh

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Original poster

IDoDaChaCha · 03/07/2017 20:45

Sounds like we're right on track age wise for the fussy eating episode then!

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StorminaBcup · 03/07/2017 20:49

My ds used to throw his food on the floor so I used to take his plate away. It stopped pretty quickly. He's also a fussy eater but I have found that leaving them to eat with no commenting (as suggested above) and repeated exposure to different foods has worked.

And also slight white lies about runner beans making him run faster also does the trick.

Original poster

IDoDaChaCha · 03/07/2017 20:52

Thanks Storm, I want to do that but her interfering Nana does the opposite: sits staring at her while she eats and runs in blind panic to fetch a replacement if it gets chucked on the floor. This happens every weekend...

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StorminaBcup · 03/07/2017 20:57

Oh dear. That's a whole other thread!

Original poster

IDoDaChaCha · 03/07/2017 21:10

I know, I should put it on my 'narcissist mother' thread

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IDefinitelyWould · 03/07/2017 21:32

I have a very fussy eater. He eats beige, dry food and not a lot else. I've stopped battling, I rarely won the battles anyway and it just led to us all being upset and stressed. I make mainly things I know he likes, then put little extras on a side plate. If he eats them, I smile. If he doesn't then nothing. I will not let food become a big deal. I'm also working on him calmly saying 'no thank you' instead of freaking out and screaming when someone offers him something to eat. It's baby steps but at 2 1/2 I feel like eating is getting easier and is no longer a stressful battle, even if he still doesn't eat much.

SweepTheHalls · 03/07/2017 21:37

She just gets a portion of what the whole family is eating. Take it or leave it! DD is 18 months.

buckyou · 03/07/2017 21:58

My DD is on and off a bit fussy but is going through a good eating phase at the moment.

I just offer up a meal I think she likes with a variety of things. If she eats it she eats it and if she doesn't she doesn't. No big deal. I still offer her fruit or whatever after.

BubblesBuddy · 03/07/2017 22:15

I had a "no eater" until 18 months. Just a tiny bit of pasta and a slice of banana if we were lucky. Just lots of milk. DD was even discussed as a case study at a Health Visitors' Conference which came up with nothing helpful!

What did the trick was sending DD to nursery 3 days a week and staying for lunch. She started to eat and at 20 months, at her second Christmas dinner, she asked for "more". Eating with others worked wonders. I can see that is not possible for everyone but it took stress away and we made huge progress. She ate well after that with no regression to ultra fussiness.

Original poster

IDoDaChaCha · 03/07/2017 22:29

Sweep, this is what I want to try going forwards... X

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PurpleTraitor · 03/07/2017 22:30

You can try lots of different things if you like but my advice is wait ten years and it'll sort itself out, whatever you do or don't do.

WaxyBean · 04/07/2017 10:01

My children always ate better when we ate as a family and when I put dishes on the table rather than dishing up in the kitchen. They were much more keen to try things when they were in control and could see that we were eating the same food.

clarabellski · 04/07/2017 14:04

Hey OP, we have a 16 month old whose first word after 'dada' was 'banana' (well, it came out more as 'barara' but there was no mistaking what he meant!). Would eat an entire punnet of strawberries in one go if you let him. But apart from peas and tomatoes appears to have gone off most veggies.

One thing I've observed is that if I leave DS long enough, he'll start eating a bit of the mess that he'd made. So we try to give him 20 - 30 minutes. If he plays with it, fine, if he eats it, also fine. We recently repainted the dining room with wipe clean paint which was a great idea!!!

My DH is struggling with this stage more than me as he hates mess/dirt!

Also, it helps to remind yourself that missing one meal will not result in starvation, and babies like other people have days where they just don't fancy as much food as much as other days (particularly in this hot spell of late).

I just realised I've not given much in teh way of practical advice but maybe more thoughts to help you cope with the frustration of this stage!

StorminaBcup · 04/07/2017 18:50

that missing one meal will not result in starvation

That's a really good point. DS1 went through a phase where he didn't appear to eat anything. Someone told me to look at his food in take for the whole week instead of meal by meal, and he was actually doing ok. Perhaps you'll find it's better on balance than you think.

Summerdays2014 · 04/07/2017 19:44

My 17 month old is exactly the same. He was a great eater but has become increasing fussy. It's hard to know what to do, but at least you know it's not just you! I always take comfort from that!

Original poster

IDoDaChaCha · 07/07/2017 18:51

Thanks for the replies all when you say it out loud- they won't starve missing a meal- it sounds ludicrous! But that's what being anxious about them being fussy boils down to. I suppose it doesn't help that we're buying a house and I'm stressed and busy too ha. I'm now working to the rule of, if she eats a satisfactory portion of her dinner she can have fruit and/or yogurt after. The other day she threw all her lunch on the floor so I took it away (calmly!) and didn't give her anything else. She survived feeling much better about being a bit more strict xx

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bluechameleon · 08/07/2017 09:36

Mine turned fussy at about a year and still is at 2y9m. He eats almost anything for the childminder but a very limited diet at home. We eat together, put no pressure on, let him serve himself as much as possible and try not to worry about it. I'm hoping he will eventually come around!

clarabellski · 10/07/2017 09:06

Remembered this thread as I'm reading a book at the moment called 'First Bite' by food writer Bee Wilson, about how we learn to eat as children & adults. I'm not finished it yet but already it provides some insight into this topic. Warning to OP - the book doesn't provide a magic bullet (i.e. X tactic will get your little one to eat), but as you mentioned anxiety in your latest post, it might help you to understand what is going on and come to terms with it.

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