At the end of my tether with my 2 year old!

[sandytoesandsaltykisses]

Please help me ladies, I literally don't know what to do.

I am at the end of my tether with my 2 year olds tantrums.

Every day is a constant battle, if she wants something and she doesn't get it she cries and screams, throws and hits (me and her big sister) or if she doesn't want something - the same scenario. She acts like a spoilt brat and she is anything but! I am a pretty strict parent - my 7 year old will testify to that! I have had no problems with her behaviour at all but my 2 year old is another story!

It's the throwing things and hitting that I can't seem to crack. I can see how angry and frustrated she gets when something doesn't go her way and I can see the anger building up and her looking for something to throw or someone to hit to take out her frustrations. She's a fantastic talker so it's not like she can't communicate with me. But she's so stroppy and moody and I don't know what to do. She's an embarrassment if it happens in public, I never let her get away with bad behaviour but it just ends in her screaming and me leaving wherever we are red faced and fed up!

I use the naughty step whenever she does something bad (the hitting and throwing!) and I've tried shouting (it doesn't work) I've tried the soft approach, I literally feel like I have tried everything.

She responds well to my partner who we live with (not her father), probably because he is someone different to me.

But I just don't know what to do. I don't even know if this is the normal terrible twos as my eldest was nothing like this.

Please please any tips or advice you have would be greatly appreciated. But please no judgement or harsh comments - fed up enough as it is.

I meant to write earlier but forgot... in terms of the physical anger, does she have any other 'outlets' for her physical side? I have a 5 year old and he needs 'running' but also he tends to have a fight with my husband most evenings. Really quite aggressive. To clear it out of his system.
For not getting her own way, I phrase very little as questions. So I wouldn't say 'do you want to go to the park' but 'we are going to the park. Then there isn't the option of disappointment. We also did a LOT of races because winning the race was always a higher priority for my son than being disappointed. It was better to win the putting on shoes race than being sad that the telly was off.

All that said, 2 is a really hard age!! My second child is 18 months and she is already showing she is 'strong willed'!

OP, I understand that you are feeling frustrated. My DS2 went through a hitting phase at this age (hitting other children) which I found so stressful - I tried so hard but I couldn't get him to stop! And then one day he just stopped. He's now a gentle and well behaved 7yo. It really was just a toddler phase.

Your DD's behaviour sounds completely normal for her age, and you sound like you are doing your best to deal with it. The problem is that there is no magic solution!

The only thing I can suggest is that you stop comparing her to her big sister all the time. I'm not sure it's helpful - I think it's just making you feel crosser!

Hang in there OP. It will get better.