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Is time to get professional help?

4 replies

Generallyok · 03/07/2017 07:14

Dd is 7 and is a bright, funny smiley little girl and teachers all say she is a model pupil. She has friends but can sometimes prefer her own company. She has always been very fiery and very quick to anger. She has an older brother who is very gentle and good natured but occasionally does like to tease as all big brothers do. Of recent times her outbursts are becoming more violent and this morning she struck me and kicked me because she couldn't have own way. I am sat here in tears at a loss at what to do. She had calmed down and is merrily eating her breakfast like nothing has happened. While she was cross it is if she takes on someone else's persona and will say the most horrible things and will almost be as though she is acting a part. She is beginning to frighten me. Other things maybe worth mentioning is that she is a very poor sleeper as in she wakes very early often at 5. Has allergy problems. Keep wondering if a vitamin deficiency etc could be causing this but aware I'm probably clutching at straws.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Generallyok · 03/07/2017 12:29

Bump -anyone as a bit of a loss?

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Aquamarine1029 · 04/07/2017 03:37

I think getting professional help us a very wise idea. Given her young age, I would hope that getting her help now would be beneficial before the situation escalates.

heyday · 04/07/2017 04:47

I think you should sit her down once she is calm and talk to her about the behaviour you expect from her and how her words and actions impact on others. Ask her if she is happy, if anything is bothering her and make sure you take care to listen to her answers.
Then, you have to have clear consequences for her behaviour. These consequences should be carried out immediately if possible after her bad behaviour, that she is aware of what they are beforehand and, most importantly, that you carry them through.
Ensure that she has a good diet and that she has adequate sleep. She may just be pushing the boundaries to see how you respond.
Be firm, be fair, be always available to listen to her and make sure her brothers teasing isn't getting her down too much.
I would put clear boundaries in place with very clear rewards and consequences that she fully understands and stick rigidly to it for a few months. Everyone wants their own way, however, we all have to learn how to deal with it when we can't have our own way and that's hard to deal with. Review your parenting to see if there are any small changes you can make (parenting is a life long learning process): only once you have done everything possible should you seek professional advice in my opinion. It's not easy to access this help and waiting lists are long so do all you can in the meantime and I have found that these professionals delve quite deeply into family life/relationships and it's not always an easy ride.

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Generallyok · 04/07/2017 07:42

Thanks so much for replies. I had quite a long chat with her last night and she told me that she feels she cant stop herself lashing out when cross. I asked her if she ever did it at school and she said no as she didn't want to get into trouble. I explained to her that everyone feels cross sometimes but that lashing out is unexceptable. Not sure how to punish her in future -any suggestions please.

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