Therapeutic parenting

[NCyetagain]

Looking for some help with therapeutic parenting please.

I have 3 DC, they're 3, 4 and 5. Had an abusive childhood myself, just come out of an abusive marriage. My poor babies have seen it all - domestic violence, drugs and alcohol, police coming out to house. I know it's been traumatic for them, I feel awful. But I'm finally out of this hell and starting to try and make changes. I've been reading up on therapeutic parenting and want some advice on how to put it into practice. A list of do's and don'ts or something. I just need to be told what to do because I have no inner resources or knowledge or supportive family to help me. My DC show signs of ADHD/Asperger's but actually from the reading I've done it's more likely to be an attachment disorder. It's really fecking hard, knowing that I'm the one who has caused all of this by not getting them out sooner and now also having to be the one to fix it. But I will fix it. I love them so much.

If anyone out there can help me I would love your support!

I don't have any knowledge of therapeutic parenting but didn't want to read and run. Just wanted to say well done you for getting yourself and your kiddos out of that situation - that must have been incredibly hard and you sound incredibly brave. Wishing you heaps of luck moving forward, and hopefully someone will be along with some more useful help soon

Thank you October! Means a lot.

Welcometomybrain.net is a great blog, a therapeutic mother of five children some with trauma, some with SEN, (some with both). Really good section of trauma parenting articles and some good book recommendations too. (And her youtube vids are also good!)

Meant to add: the blogger is also a therapeutic parent coach and I think does online coaching sessions? I know she does training days.

Thanks, will look into the blog.

You could try asking for advice on the Adoption board on here (under Becoming a Parent). A lot of the mums on there use therapeutic parenting techniques.

Thank you Barbarian, have done that :)

Try a book called "Building the bonds of attachment" by Dan Hughes.

Each chapter has 2 parts, a story part and then a part which explains it all. I found it really easy to read.

I think one of the key things is consistency. Children can't feel secure and able to depend on people if things are unpredictable. So keep routines, boundaries etc very clear and consistent.

Also try looking at PACE techniques. It stands for Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity and Empathy. If you can use these 4 elements when parenting (it can feel like hard work and may not come naturally) that can work really well.

I think Dan Hughes has videos on YouTube if you'd rather that then read.