Husband does not help

[mommabear2017]

I have a three year old and a 6 week baby. With our 3 year old my husband never did any night feeds I basically did everything I thought this time round things might be different but here we are again I'm doing literally everything for our children as well as running a house. If i ask him to help with night feeds all I get is sorry I'm at work or I can't youve got a routine or he says well if I do a night feed ile be a grumpy beep all day tomorrow. I'm so frustrated and unhappy he just dsnt understand how I'm feeling or get that I'm doing everything. He spent literally 2 hours the other day polishing his car or he goes of in the garden to do things that don't really need doing . I feel like saying I might as well be a single parent

Musing out loud "I wonder who is the father of (baby name)? Hey DH, do you know whose baby this is?"

Musing out loud "I wonder who is the father of (baby name)? Hey DH, do you know whose baby this is?"

I'm genuinely not being an arse but why did you think it would be different this time ? Did you talk about it? Did he give you any indication he wanted to change?

He sounds like an arse, I would key his car if he polished it for 2 hours and left me with the kids (I'd like to say I don't mean that but I remember the sleep exhaustion at 6 weeks and I couldn't be sure that I wouldn't actually)

Rather than focusing on him doing night feeds and whatnot with baby, a more productive assertion to make would be: 'I'll sort baby out, you are in charge of the toddler'. In practical terms that would look like these sorts of things:

• you do toddlers bedtime while I'm with baby
• you do toddlers bath/story while I sort dinner
• can you take toddler to the park or somewhere? She's bored and I need to get baby to sleep
• you get up whenever the toddler wakes up in the morning. I get up whenever baby wakes.
• I will deal with all of baby's night wakes. If toddler wakes for any reason, it will always be your responsibility to deal with