How to encourage 2 1/2 year old to be more independant from me?

[kitkat321]

My dd is a lively, outgoing wee girl but I notice in situations where she has the chance to interact with children her own age or me, she'll always come to me.

For example, I take her to a play group every week. It's the same kids there each time and she's been going for a year and a half. Rarely if ever will she go and play with another child - she always wants mummy to come play with her. If I try to encourage her to play with the others she gets upset.

She goes to nursery 3 days a week and they all say she plays well with others but when we were on holiday recently I noticed that she was always the odd one out - at the pool or the kids disco she she would stand and watch the other kids from the sidelines or want us to play with her which is fine but I really want her to be able to make friends.

I'm a bit of a socially awkward person and I really don't want her to turn out like me!

Some of my friends have kids but they are all a fair bit older than her so while we do have play dates, the older kids don't want to be stuck with her so that doesn't help.

I don't know that many people with kids her age and while I know she has friends at nursery, I've never met them or their parents so how on earth do you go about arranging a play date in that situation?

I'm going to invite kids from her nursery, play group and dance class to her birthday later this year but is there anything else I can do to help her?

She is only 2 n half, of course she is going to want mummy to play with her, she socailises at nursery, so i do not see the problem.

My DD (3) asked to play with a friend from nursery-like you I had no contact details for other parents. I emailed the nursery with a message for the little girl's parent(s) including my number and asked them to forward it. Got a text from the mum that day and we arranged a meet up in a local park. I have since had them to our house and friendship is blossoming for DD and me.

I wouldn't worry. She is so young still and most don't really play with others properly at the age. Mummy is much more preferable. Probably because they know we wont snatch and we know how they likes
to play and what they like.

I have a gregarious 2 and a half year old. She bearly notices me at playgroup, rarely comes ip to me - just goes off and busys herself for the hour and a half we are there playing with the toys.

However, she's not of the age where she plays cooperatively with children. She sometimes plays alongside others, but not with them.

So I would say that the lack of interaction with others is a completely seperate issue to not playing independantly.

I think independant play comes by being ignored (!) Not in a neglectful way, obviously. But it should be reasonable to expect her to play with things herself at this age.

DS2 plays more independently when DP is looking after him than when I'm there. Agree that it's probably because, in the nicest way, DP ignores him more. If I'm there we generally do something together.
At play groups he watches other children, follows them sometimes but it's not really playing together.
DS1 is older and he didn't have proper friends till he was about 4.

I have found when I let my kids cling when they need to, they stop clinging quicker than if I try to encourage them.

Encourage them to join in/not cling. Not just encourage them.

Just give her what she needs, so she can move on in her own time. If she doesn't get her needs meet, she'll stay clingy.
She's tiny, and already spends a lot of time away from you, so let her make the most of you when you are there.