Nursery- would you use of you didn't have to?

[Turneeps]

Hi,
Week 5 of putting my 14 month old into nursery for 2 half days a week. She cries, red face, reaches out for me as soon I pass her to nursery staff. I hate leaving her, feels so cruel.
I am having a 2nd baby due any day now. I thought nursery would be good for my 14 month old (& give me 1on1 time with new baby).
However totally doubting this decision. Would you preserve with nursery or just have both kids at home every day. I won't be able to take toddler to our usual activities with new born so she will just be stuck at home with us all day.
I don't know what to do!!??
Advice/opinions please.
Thank you (from an emotional/hormonal pregnant lady!)

I wouldn't bother as it sounds like it is just stressing you both out. Put new baby in a sling and take bigger baby to toddler groups/rhyme time at the library/park/woods etc. You will be fine. Newborn won't need 1:1 time. They will just want feeding and cuddling. Good luck.

My two didn't go to nursery until they got their free hours at age 3. Didn't see the need before then

It's difficult. I have a toddler and baby. DD1 started 2 mornings at nursery when she was 22 months. DD2 came along when DD1 was 28 months, and DD1 went up to 1 morning and 1 full day. I didn't have to put DD1 in nursery, but decided to do it on the basis of:

• I wouldn't have been able to cope with both of them for every day of the week.
• It's really good for DD1's social skills, learning to follow instructions, table manners, sharing toys, etc. Nursery teaches her a load of stuff I wouldn't think of to teach her, and they have loads of toys we don't have at home.
• When I go back to work she will have to go to nursery 4 full days a week, so it'll be easier if she's been getting used to it. DD2 will need to go without any warm-up, and I'm feeling sorry for her already for that.
• We can afford it, so why not.

I don't use a nursery, but I do use a childminder. The lady ds goes to only has a small number of children, and is a lovely, kind person. Ds adores her, and toddles in without a backward look. There is one other child of around his age, and a couple of older children too. He goes on the school run which I'm sure he enjoys too - he likes meeting people.

I think a nursery would be too full on, but this works well for us.

Even though I'm a sahm, my 19 month old goes to nursery two mornings per week and has done since she was 9 months old. She loves going, settled quickly and gets a lot out of it.

My ds is 14 months and nursery has been the absolute best thing for him, he goes 3 days a week and it's really helped him. He's come right out of himself, his speech is coming on amazingly as well. He started going at 9 months old.

I do think though, all children are different and what works for one may not work for another. I do think that it's worth it for the social aspect (I hated baby groups and so nursery gives ds a chance to be around other kids his age) but I suppose you have to decide whether it is worth it for your child?

I imagine the more she goes the easier it will be and she may start to enjoy it. I think with ds because he was quite young when he started it has been easier. He did cry when I left him for the first few weeks and it made my heart break but he's settled in very nicely now and doesn't want to leave when I pick him up he wants to carry on playing.

For a 2.5-3 year old, yes. For a baby, no.

How about a childminder instead? Or have a babysitter come to you?

Never nursery here would only if there was no choice.
I think I'd find the nursery drop off & collection far harder with a NB than having a toddler & NB at the same time. Plus if your DC doesnt like nursery now then adding a baby that gets to stay with Mummy isnt likely to work out well.

But all families are different so do what works for yours!

Yes I would, my son absolutely loves it and it's been so good for him socially and developmentally.

He did exactly the same at first but soon settled and if it's a good nursery they will show evidence of them settling in. It's hard but honestly it does pay in the long run.