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Are my worries 'normal'??

6 replies

Fortifiedwithvitaminsandiron · 24/06/2017 14:21

DH thinks I'm over-thinking and I am pretty sure he's right, but I just need to sense-check and see if anyone else worries the same as me or if I'm just bat-shit crazy.....

DS is 3 (just). Very happy, confident, bubbly, cheeky etc..... goes to nursery a couple of days a week and really enjoys it. Nursery has never said anything other than he is a happy child. BUT, I have a recurring worry that he has no friends (I don't know if he does or not, it's just a worry I have). Do the other children ignore him, or do they play with him? I heard him asking his (older, 6) cousin the other day 'Can I play?' and cousin said 'no'. Broke my heart (although I'm assuming this is quite normal to be shunned by an older kid?!). Earlier I heard him say to another toddler 'Do you like me?'

I'm sure these questions are all part of normal development but for some reason this plays on my mind. I think it's because I didn't have a huge amount of friends at school and that, as a kid, could be a lonely time. I'm quite a loner (just much prefer my own company, it's never bothered me as an adult) but I worry that somehow by 'default' I'll pass this trait onto him and he'll be miserable/sad or something.....

This is my first child so do other parents worry the same? I don't 'show' these concerns to him of course, they are fully internalised!!! But I just want to know quite how much of a wally I am so I can start to mentally prepare for the teenage years now......

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Coconut0il · 24/06/2017 17:21

I think your own experiences are causing you additional worry. I worried about DS1 when he started nursery/primary/secondary but as soon as he was settled I was fine. I worried about friends but also about things like what would happen if he couldn't carry his lunch tray!
I feel much more relaxed with DS2 at the moment but he's only 2 so never been anywhere like that yet!

EnglishGirlApproximately · 24/06/2017 17:25

Ds is five and I worry about this too. He seems to play with everyone but doesn't have a particular friend or group, often tells me no one plays with him.Sad

Teacher says he has good relationships and moves between groups so no special friendships yet. I think it's a normal worry, at least I hope it is!

Pickerel · 24/06/2017 17:53

At just 3, I think it's normal not to have friends (although he may have!) - many kids are still playing 'in parallel' to each other rather than together at that age.

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LadyintheRadiator · 24/06/2017 18:24

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OuchBollocks · 24/06/2017 18:26

This worries me sick. Added to that, my DD has disordered speech, and I'm so worried that kids will be cruel about it :(

shockshockhorror · 24/06/2017 18:54

Children often parallel play at this age - literally meaning they play side by side but not together. Don't worry about it! The fact that he's asking to play is good because it's showing he's making little advancements in terms of building relationships and understanding social norms. Sounds perfectly normal to me!

(Not an expert by any means - just a parent of toddlers and nursery worker)

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