any parents out there with Aspergers?

[mamatres]

hi

i have been posting for a while but never got the courage to write about this.

my 2 sons were both diagnosed with AS last year. through reading about it, it became apparent to me and everyone wh oknows me that i clearly have it too. i have ince been to see a psychologist who agreed that i have it but is unsure what use a diagnosis would be or why i would need one at this stage in my life (i am 31).

its been a very bizarre journey because it has turned everything i thought i knew about the world and those around me completely on its head! i always thought it was everyone else who was 'weird', 'rude', difficult to talk to etc. and i thought that everyone else has the same issues with touch, sound, eye contact problems and obsessions as me. and it was me all the time!

i do feel i have some difficulties, some quite complex, some that badly affect relationship with dh and some which badly affect relationship with dc s. i do find parenting really hard, esp when they are at an age when they start having 'a mind of their own'.

when the boys were dx my mum read all about it too and she said to me- ' thats you, i always knew you had this but never knew it had a name'. apparently when i was at primary school teachers and my mum wanted me to see a child psychologist but my dad wouldnt let me go.

the problem i have now is i dont know where to go for help and support, and for my dh to get help too, as i dont have a dx, and also not sure what is available in my are for adults. everything seems set up to support kids but nothing for older people. dh and i went to Relate recently and the counsellor woman just didnt 'get me' and so we ended up not going after a few sessions as i couldnt say what i perhaps needed to say and i just came away from every session sounding like a cold selfish cow!

if anyone has any help or advice or wants to tell me about your story i would be very grateful.

anyone?

No advice mamatres, sorry, but I didn't want you to feel ignored!

This must be a difficult situation for you - I hope that someone with something useful to say comes along soon

Hi mamatres
Have you posted this in the special needs section too? I know at least one of the regular posters on there was recently diagnosed with AS herself.

hi, yes i have, will just check for any postings! thanks. perhaps if you meet her in cyberspace you can show her the way....

thanks anyway Molesworth! i quite often write posts like that too!

I will

Hi Mamatres.

I think there are a few parents over on the SN board who either have a diagnosis of AS or who, like you, have realised that they would probably have a diagnosis themselves if they were a child today.

I can relate to a lot of your post. I have 2 boys who have a dx of AS/ASD. When ds1 was dx'ed at the age of 3.5yrs the Paediatrician told dh that he almost certainly has AS himself. I too have a lot of traits. I find social stuff very difficult. It's as if everyone else was given a rule book at birth but someone forgot to give one to me. There are things that I just cannot touch. I also have problems with noise. Not necessarily volume but sounds at a certain pitch are painful.

I don't know where you are in the country but there is a clinic in Cambridge where adults can go for a dx. Our local NAS group runs a group for adults who have AS (whether dx'ed or not). It might be worth you looking on the NAS site to see what is available in your area. I don't know much about the more medical side of things but I think a couple of other Mumsnetters get help from mental health services.

You're more than welcome to join us all over on the SN board.